Finding balance in teaching kids financial responsibility

amother

Taupe

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 12:02 pm

I am very grateful that we are able to afford the high expenses of frum life--necessities and some small luxuries sometimes. I myself am pretty frugal (think twice before buying anything) and don't treat myself much. I want to provide all my children's needs and some of their wants, but the line between needs and wants has become so blurred these days! I don't want to spoil them and want to teach them to be financially responsible. I'm thinking of the continuum, where one end is kids who feel deprived and the other end is kids who feel entitled. I'd like to find that happy spot in between.

I find that having children pay for their own extras or "luxuries" helps them value them much more and make wiser choices about whether they actually need certain things. My preteen and teen kids have money from babysitting etc, but I struggle with when to tell them they need to pay for things themselves. Things like this come up every day, eg. one DC asked me for $5 for his class' Purim shtick while another spent $7 printing photos to give to kids in a group she led. Yes, I can afford to pay the $5 or $7 (though if every one of my kids wants something like that once or twice a week that adds up to a lot of extra money being spent) but is it better chinuch for them to pay themselves? Or split the cost with them?

I'd love to hear how others handle this challenge!

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 12:13 pm

My teens learned to value money because I tell them all the time we can't afford it. I also tell them that we aren't as rich as you think. BH my kids don't feel they are entitled to anything. They are good hard workers. They often speak about budgeting when they are married.

I am the OP of the spin-off thead. I don't want to give my kids more than their peers get. I don't want them valuing material possessions as a measure of worth. I could care less about things.

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 12:45 pm

Teach kids about what's a good use of money - and what is wasteful - the way you see it.

"hi DD - I'm happy to get you 'set-up' for Purim based on what I think is a reasonable budget.. if there are other things you want - that is what your money could be used for... just remember you can only spend money once".

forgetit

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 1:11 pm

Thanks for bringing up this topic. I'm in a similar situation and struggle with it too. I often do the 'price match' because I like to see how serious they are; if they're putting their blood and sweat into this I can too. If its s/t silly like an impulse item that they can (and maybe should) do without, but want just bec. they saw it in the supermarket I usually make them pay for it on their own.