MAJOR VENT | Imamother

twinkltoes

Tue, Oct 23 2007, 10:06 am

I am mom to a (sometimes) wonderful 11-year-old from my first marriage. She is a good girl (sometimes) but last night she really pushed my buttons. Goes like this:

About a week ago, I folded the laundry, much of which was hers and put her folded things on the end of her bed to put away when she got back from a weekend at her Dad's. Well, those clothes have been sitting there for a week, getting laid on by her and the dog and cat and getting generally crumpled and strewn everywhere so yesterday when she called me at work after school, I asked her to please put the clothes AWAY. "Sure, Ima." I came home from work, thought everything was hunky-dory until quite late in the evening when we were all winding down and headed for bed, DH, who does the laundry in our house, went to put on a load and came out with a MOUNTAIN of her still-folded clothes that she'd thrown back in the dirty laundry basket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Twisted Evil

Well, I just had myself a little conniption (sp?) and gave her the tongue-lashing of her life but.........how would you react??? Just because she was too lazy to take 10 minutes to put them away...........Just so she could get to her hour of TV that she's allowed per day that much faster...........DH thinks that as punishment she should do her own laundry for a week so perhaps she will learn to appreciate how tedious it is and won't wish it on anyone. I was SO ANGRY! She has a lazy streak anyway and I really am at my wits' end as to how to train her out of it.

That was last night.

Then today at 5:00 there is some class activity at one of her classmate's houses. We agreed that she would ride home on the school bus with another of her classmate's who lives down the street from the house where the activity is at and at 5 they would walk there together because I am at work until 5:30 and can't take her. So a little while ago (3 PM) she calls me up from OUR house. She didn't go home with her classmate because she was smelly and wanted to shower. I thought she was going home with the classmate so I took our car to work today (sometimes my husband keeps it) and now she has no way to get to the activity at 5. None of her classmates live near us. She's afraid to go by herself in a taxi and even if she would do that, I'd expect her to pay for it out of her money because she didn't stick to what we'd agreed and she's screwed up everyone's plans because of it. I made a HUGE mistake I think and got busy calling a friend of her's from the class and asked the mother, who is taking her daughter by taxi, if they would mind stopping by to pick up my daughter on the way and DD will pay the extra charge for that. I should have just let DD sit at home stewing in the mess she made for herself and maybe if she missed the activity she would learn for next time. I wasn't thinking fast enough. Sad

What would you do at this point?

greenfire

Tue, Oct 23 2007, 6:06 pm

definately teach her to do her own laundry ... get her a basket ... everything goes pop into the basket into the washer ... if she doesn't change it you pop into the basket NOT the dryer ... if she leaves it in the dryer pop to the basket NOT her room ... and as for her room just keep the door closed ...

the party is another story ... obviously gone by now ... but ... yup she messed things up a bit there ... should mother's rescue their kids ... yes but not when these things are done with malice intentions - then that is enabling ...

good luck those hormones start kicking in at 11 Twisted Evil

Imaonwheels

Mon, Nov 05 2007, 2:44 am

I have one who puts clean laundry back in the basket if someone dares to ask him to put it away. The more they get to be teenagers it will stop. Why?

Guess what? They have to have THAT shirt/skirt/pants. Teenagers are fussy about their clothes. Now imagine their disappointment that they find it smelly and not washed. So I tell them if you put it away you have it, if you don't have it it is not my fault as I can only wash what is in the basket. No clothes to take toi yeshiva? No Shabbos dress? You want to go to a wedding tonight Get your clothes in early because I don't do special orders unless I am at fault. I love teaching by consequences.