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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
meyerlemon44
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 Tue, Apr 09 2019, 9:55 am
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We moved relatively recently and now go to a very large shul. People usually congregate and sit in groups according to how old their kids are, so it’s kind of hard to make inroads into a group conversation about lots of people you don’t know and things you don’t recognize. Any suggestions?
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cm
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Tue, Apr 09 2019, 10:05 am
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It really helps to meet people in a smaller venue, such as a Shabbat meal. Once you've been introduced and have had a chance to get to know each other, it's easier to join conversations at kiddush and you will gradually get to know other people as well. If you're lucky, there will be one or two families who make a point of inviting new members for a meal. In addition, there is probably a hospitality committee that makes arrangements for prospective members; if there's no "new member committee," they could probably help you out. Don't take it personally if some people are resistant to making new friends. Some people are just like that.
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ectomorph
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Tue, Apr 09 2019, 10:16 am
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Give it time and keep on working at it. If there are any mom only shiurim or groups try to go and get to know people there.
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singleagain
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Tue, Apr 09 2019, 11:20 am
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If large groups are intimidating.... What about hanging near the drink table or something and offering to help someone trying to juggle three plates and a cup... Or otherwise "intercept" ppl who head off some for a moment... Not to attack.. but to offer help it compliment on their outfit or something?
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STMommy
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Tue, Apr 09 2019, 12:51 pm
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introduce yourself to someone and ask them to introduce you to their friends
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amother
Aubergine
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Tue, Apr 09 2019, 1:08 pm
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I like to start with a (sincere) compliment, which often leads to a light conversation. For example, compliment someone on something she/ a child is wearing, and ask her where she got it. Then ask if she can recommend some good stores in the area. It usually gets people talking, and eventually people will recognize you and have conversations that are less superficial.
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