Be honest: How much do your kids fight?

amother

Mon, May 13 2019, 7:46 pm

And at what age does it end?

My kids have been fighting more than ever before over the past year or two.

Specifically my older ones , DS12, DD10, DD9. Cannot get through one morning routine or car ride or meal without bickering, sniping, annoying, etc.
Lots of "shut up!" And "you're such an idiot!" From my oldest who thinks he has the most annoying siblings ever and can't handle the girls singing or wildness,

Cringeworthy language for DH and I who both grew up in more refined homes. Punishing doesn't help - he'd be punished all day.

So sad that this is what our family looks like.

Is this normal?????

amother

Pink

Mon, May 13 2019, 7:55 pm

No idea if it's normal, but I have the same situation and it makes me so sad. I have one boy and then two girls and I get it, he's bored and they don't have much in common. Sometimes they get together and actually play normally. Most of the time if he's not very occupied with something he'll just go around making them miserable. The car ride to and from school is the worst. Yes, lots of calling each other stupid and idiot and threatening to punch each other etc. BH they don't get overly physical but still.

thunderstorm

Mon, May 13 2019, 7:58 pm

For us it's normal. Day after day after day. I was like that with my sister too. We are best friends now. There's hope.

amother

Ivory

Mon, May 13 2019, 8:02 pm

Idiot and stupid is not that bad. My kids used to really insult and hurt each other on a real personal level:(. I used to be so sad. I wish I would handled it better. Now they are best friends except of one son who doesn’t like his older brother

amother

Mon, May 13 2019, 8:29 pm

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

How do you wish you would've handled it?

amother

Apricot

Mon, May 13 2019, 9:47 pm

My kids fight constantly. Mostly my twin girls. Verbally. Physically. It makes me crazy. I grew up with only one sibling almost 6 years younger so I wasn’t expecting this. It makes me so sad. But most friends tell me their kids are the same.

amother

Wheat

Mon, May 13 2019, 9:56 pm

My kids have a love hate relationship. They get along one minute and the next they're fighting physically and verbally. I am so tired of it.

simba

Mon, May 13 2019, 9:59 pm

All day and they are little. Doesn’t bother me..grew up with brothers fighting all day. They must have almost killed each other many times. Today they are the best of friends.

Miri7

Mon, May 13 2019, 10:00 pm

More than I’d like to admit. Especially that age range. They are just AWFUL sometimes. Great kids, terrible behavior. Hormones don’t help. They seem to lack all impulse control.

ddmom

Mon, May 13 2019, 10:02 pm

Same here!
Non stop fighting!
Seat at the table. Car rides. Who's turn is it to clean up. Comments about sibling's hair,sibling's clothing,sibling's singing... Can't Believe It

amother

Wine

Mon, May 13 2019, 10:11 pm

Just something to consider: fighting means they have a relationship- it may not be the one you want right now bit hopefully ot will turn around one day. As kids my sister and I had so much animosity towards each other that we stopped talking to each other. Bh were good friends now bit I remember having nothing at all to do with her

OutATowner

Mon, May 13 2019, 10:19 pm

Oh my I could have started this thread. In fact, I was thinking about it.
It cannot continue!! I make them rephrase, I try validation, logic, calm voice, a whole bunch of strategies. It's not that my kids fight so terribly it just doesn't stop. The really dumb bickering. Like literally, she looked at me, or dont touch my cup.
Argh!! I will end this because this is NOT how my house will be!!!!

amother

Mon, May 13 2019, 11:35 pm

[quote="OutATowner"]Oh my I could have started this thread. In fact, I was thinking about it.
It cannot continue!! I make them rephrase, I try validation, logic, calm voice, a whole bunch of strategies. It's not that my kids fight so terribly it just doesn't stop. The really dumb bickering. Like literally, she looked at me, or dont touch my cup.
Argh!! I will end this because this is NOT how my house will be!!!![/quoted]

I feel the same way, but how???

Don't have control like I used to.

amother

Ivory

Mon, May 13 2019, 11:38 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

How do you wish you would've handled it?

I would have had more consequences for hurtful comments like taking more of their possessions and privileges

Rappel

Mon, May 13 2019, 11:42 pm

My sister and brother and I used to half kill each other. It's normal, and healthy for future relationships, but I'm not looking forward to seeing that myself

amother

Mon, May 13 2019, 11:45 pm

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

I would have had more consequences for hurtful comments like taking more of their possessions and privileges

Hmm. Disappointed. Was hoping to hear something else. I have tried this, but it doesn't work at all in my experience. If anything, it backfires.