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Forum
-> Shopping
soap suds
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Tue, May 28 2019, 1:28 am
camp wrote: | Sorry amother silver. One of the most famous custom suit companies populated by Frum males, is owned and run by a women.
Never heard a complaint about that. |
It's really not the same, though. Men trying on clothing and checking themselves in the mirror in front of a woman is very, very different than the other way around.
I wouldn't have a problem with a female saleslady in a men's store, and neither would DH. I would definitely feel uncomfortable with a man in a woman's clothing store. I'd probably avoid shopping there.
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DrMom
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Tue, May 28 2019, 5:28 am
amother [ Purple ] wrote: | I think a large part of the problem doesn't exist in the mall or department stores. In a lot of the frum stores theres no mirrors in the dressing room forcing you to have to come out and see if the clothing fits.
It makes me super uncomfortable to have to check if a dress is too tight by my tush or on top knowing that there is a man in the store who can be coming to the back any second (in my local frum store the storage room is by the dressing room). Why is this ok? Or lets say I'm trying something on that needs a shell but I'm not wearing one how am I supposed to see if it fits if there is a man in the store? |
This, IMO, is more annoying than having male workers in the store. And easier to fix (no worries about discrimination lawsuits).
Many Israeli stores have no mirrors in the dressing rooms (although that is changing as there is more and more competition fro international chains) and it is super-annoying.
a) I don't want to the yucky salesperson's advice about my clothing (they always say everything look great, so they are just a nuisance); b) I want to have privacy and not march out in front of other shoppers and readjust my head covering so I can step outside; c) I don't want to worry about somebody else barging into my room, leaving me stranded in clothes I don't even want to buy.
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amother
Cerulean
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Tue, May 28 2019, 7:03 am
camp wrote: | Sorry amother silver. One of the most famous custom suit companies populated by Frum males, is owned and run by a women.
Never heard a complaint about that. |
Honestly, even I went with my then-chosson to get him his wedding suit there I did find it a bit strange. But there's no issue with a women looking at a man's body/clothing closely as far as I know
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amother
Wheat
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Tue, May 28 2019, 7:35 am
Yes I see it in a few stores in Boro Park and it makes me very very uncomfortable. Though not having mirrors in the dressing rooms is beyond ridiculously frustrating
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Pollyanna
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Tue, May 28 2019, 9:30 am
It's not okay. Both from a jewish perspective and non. Whoever doesn't have a problem trying on an outfit with a male at eye shot who is not married to her, has zero sensitivity in the area of one of the most fundamentals of our religion, stemming from Giluy Arayos.
There is a really fun store in Israel, called Zoya. Not everything is %100 modest, but I have found great finds there, and trying on clothes is always a chavaya: Picture woman and girls coming in and out of dressing rooms, in shells, freely, asking each others opinion. Until - the tactless couple comes in and the guy just sits and waits for his wife as she goes through her pile of potentials.
Even the cashiers who may not even keep shabbos, feel uncomfortable. It's just not right, not the ideal to say the least. At least the hospitals here have a policy that all men go home after 11:00 at night. Yes, after a very hard birth I cried as DH left, but thinking of it, it's way more proper.
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thunderstorm
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Tue, May 28 2019, 9:36 am
Monsey has quite a few stores that way too. I've never thought much into it really. As long as they handle the register and are not commenting on size or the looks of items, I'm ok.
I used to get very nervous when Underworld Plaza was in Monsey (an underwear, robe and lingerie) store and the frum owner was at the front desk and register, seeing exactly which nightgown and undergarments were being purchased. I think people avoided the store because of that and when they realized they hired a women for the register and he no longer came into the store.
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iammom
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Tue, May 28 2019, 9:52 am
amother [ Yellow ] wrote: | I wonder if the people who are ok with this, were also the ones who were lecturing about men & women working in the same office and how bad it is if
they adress each other by first names? |
I have no problem with the above but I have a problem with men working in women’s stores.
There’s a place for everything and a women’s hosiery store or clothing store is not the place for a frum man. That’s my opinion
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iammom
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Tue, May 28 2019, 9:54 am
camp wrote: | Sorry amother silver. One of the most famous custom suit companies populated by Frum males, is owned and run by a women.
Never heard a complaint about that. |
I read about that and wondered how it works when she measures the men for alterations. I can’t imagine her marking the spot in the zipper area that needs to be taken in or out. How does that work?
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ra_mom
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Tue, May 28 2019, 11:09 am
DrMom wrote: | This, IMO, is more annoying than having male workers in the store. And easier to fix (no worries about discrimination lawsuits).
Many Israeli stores have no mirrors in the dressing rooms (although that is changing as there is more and more competition fro international chains) and it is super-annoying.
a) I don't want to the yucky salesperson's advice about my clothing (they always say everything look great, so they are just a nuisance); b) I want to have privacy and not march out in front of other shoppers and readjust my head covering so I can step outside; c) I don't want to worry about somebody else barging into my room, leaving me stranded in clothes I don't even want to buy. |
I agree with every word.
And to add to that, when something looks really bad for my body type, I'd rather not have other people watching while I look in the mirror and come to the realization that I need to remove the garment ASAP.
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moonstone
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Tue, May 28 2019, 11:17 am
Funny that you never see men working in regular female clothing stores- only, davka, in the frum ones (based on what I've read here, I don't shop in those stores).
Sounds backwards.
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amother
Ecru
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Tue, May 28 2019, 11:24 am
moonstone wrote: | Funny that you never see men working in regular female clothing stores- only, davka, in the frum ones (based on what I've read here, I don't shop in those stores).
Sounds backwards. |
The men are the owners.
And have you been the The Gap?
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amother
Orange
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Tue, May 28 2019, 1:17 pm
amother [ Yellow ] wrote: | I wonder if the people who are ok with this, were also the ones who were lecturing about men & women working in the same office and how bad it is if they adress each other by first names? |
Did you ever consider that maybe he can’t afford to have a another employee will be a cashier? Maybe he needs to work there to save money?
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Monsey 10952
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Tue, May 28 2019, 3:06 pm
amother [ Ecru ] wrote: |
If he increased his prices by 20% so that he could hire someone and stay behind the scenes - would you prefer that? |
if he increases his prices by 20% no one is walking in that store!!
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amother
Tangerine
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Tue, May 28 2019, 3:21 pm
thunderstorm wrote: | Monsey has quite a few stores that way too. I've never thought much into it really. As long as they handle the register and are not commenting on size or the looks of items, I'm ok.
I used to get very nervous when Underworld Plaza was in Monsey (an underwear, robe and lingerie) store and the frum owner was at the front desk and register, seeing exactly which nightgown and undergarments were being purchased. I think people avoided the store because of that and when they realized they hired a women for the register and he no longer came into the store. |
Yup. I miss underworld plaza!
There’s a boutique underwear/ corset/ lingerie tiny hole in the wall place in Manhattan. Literally s_exy corsets in the front etc. and a bearded frum guy sitting behind the counter. It’s beyond.
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amother
Lavender
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Tue, May 28 2019, 8:05 pm
I too, am very uncomfortable shopping in a monsey store where a man hangs around a you try on clothes.
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