“what are some status items my teenage girl should bring to

SixOfWands

Tue, Jun 25 2019, 1:02 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

If you want to send to a camp that doesnt have any of this craziness send to camp sternberg. Its a wide variety of girls, so if you cant handle your daughter beng "exposed" to sliiiightly more modern girls then I guess you'll have to miss out. But there is really no focus on cute linen and a canvas folding chair. The "shtick" people tend to focus on is good snacks, and fun attitudes.

Kids focus on chairs because during free time, like after dinner a lot of nights, they like to sit outside and hang out, and there are no chairs provided. So sure. You can stand your ground and say no chair. But your kid will be standing when her friends hang out.

And cute sheets are really about the same price as solids or ugly patterns.

No one is talking about packing the kid up in a Louis Vuitton trunk, and making sure that she has 1 ct diamond studs in each ear, for heavens sake. They're talking about little, fun things that the girls might enjoy, like a tutu, or face paint for color war, or cool hair clips or a funky pair of flip flops. I just don't see why anyone would want to deprive their kid of that if they could avoid it.

My kids also liked a small rug for next to their beds, because it can be chilly in the morning.

amother

Tue, Jun 25 2019, 1:20 pm

Im the op. FYI- I went to many different kinds of camps many moons ago from ages 11-21, tubby to Steinberg and e/t in between.

I’m not here to debate conspicuous consumption or keeping up with Klien’s.

I’m simply asking fir practical suggestions for a child that needs some trendier items in order to get a foot in the door, socially.

I would never spend 200$ on any clothing for this age child but if a butter sweatshirt helps her present better, it worth it... especially since I just found one fir her at 26$.

I am not one to purchase trendy clothing or items however this is a specific case, for this child, and she’s not aware enough and I’m over the hill to know what’s trending.

Thank you to all the mothers who responded with suggestions and kindly.

amother

Scarlet

Tue, Jun 25 2019, 1:27 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

My point was that in camp sternberg, when the girls want to sit down somewhere, they just do. No need to bring chairs, no one does and no one cares. You think they all stand the whole time? They sit by picnic tables, bunk steps, overturned milk crates, and the ground.

No one looks at linen. Its not even a thing. Half the bunk brings any old mismatched pair, the other few just sleep in a sleeping bag, and a few others may bring a cute set that is noticed by no one......because no one is looking. Honest.

If their feet are cold they wear warm socks or slippers I guess. No decking out the bunkhouse like a dormroom.

The kids literally just come as they are, with a lot of nosh, flashlights and a clip on fan. Yes of course, their flaslights might be "cute" and polka dotted because why not....but there is no such thing as "shtick" or a universal item that most kids bring.

The firs time I ever heard of this concept was when someone here on imamother asked, and I was going to answer "dont worry, this doesn't exist in camp, its not a thing, your daughter doesnt need to bring anything" but when I opened the thread I saw everyone elses answers and I was like "ohhh. Ok, I guess it must be a thing in other camps"

Camp sternberg is just good old fashioned fun. None of this nonsense.

yksraya

Tue, Jun 25 2019, 1:36 pm

I dunno what's the "in things" in your dd's camp. But in the camp I send dd to the in things are:
Mini fan that has a water sprayer
Plastic drawers for clothing
(dd is not taking drawers as I don't think it's practical or that she needs it, but if your dd needs help fitting in, it might be a good idea)
Camp chair
Cute linen and throw pillow for it
Cute backpack for trips
Trendy swimwear and cute towel
Natives shoes for water fun
Clear rain coat the frum stores sell now are gonna be in. (dd takes plain $1 store poncho and an umbrella)

A stuffed nosh box.
Noodle soups are trendy now too.

SixOfWands

Tue, Jun 25 2019, 1:42 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

But that's the thing. The only one making a big deal out of a chair or a set of linens is you.

I never went to overnight camp, but I did go to day camp. And I vividly remember that you NEEDED beat up, dirty sneakers. Woe be unto the girl who showed up with shiny, clean kicks. And if your mother (and in those days, it was always the mother) made the terrible faux pas of washing your sneakers .... you and your friends would run to the tether ball court first thing in the morning to kick dirt all over them, before anyone else could notice. So I'm not convinced that old mismatched sheets are "we don't care" rather than "we care very much that they look like this."

Every community has its thing. Right now, for one of my kids, its mismatched slides. Kid and friend of kid acquired the same slides in different colors, traded one, and voila. I'd say its nuts, but we did the same thing with Dr. Scholls in high school. (Yes, I'm that old.)

This is nothing new. And really, its no big deal, unless you make it into a big deal.

amother

Seafoam

Tue, Jun 25 2019, 2:27 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

Does the packing list for camp say "bring a lot of nosh and a clip on fan"?

amother

Gray

Tue, Jun 25 2019, 2:29 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

I agree. I didn't see any chairs at drop off or visiting day. There were no rugs. The amount of nosh sent was seriously disgusting. Management had to send the parents a letter saying no more nosh because it's attracting critters.

imasinger

Tue, Jun 25 2019, 2:41 pm

OP wrote:

I’m simply asking for practical suggestions for a child that needs some trendier items in order to get a foot in the door, socially.

*snip*

I am not one to purchase trendy clothing or items however this is a specific case, for this child, and she’s not aware enough and I’m over the hill to know what’s trending.

As a formerly socially awkward kid who has raised both socially awkward and socially comfortable kids, I see where you're coming from, but think you may be making a tactical error about how to get a foot in the door.

Stuff can make a negative impact socially, but is less likely to make a positive impact. For instance, the girl with cute sheets and hair stuff might still be viewed as nerdy because she doesn't have identical interests to the cool girls, and her sneakers are different.

You'll do better getting your DD stuff for camp that she'll enjoy or find useful, because you CANNOT control the pecking order. Spend your time building her self confidence, encouraging her to look for a couple of friends who enjoy her and whom she enjoys, and forget about the rest.

You can offer to send a care package if she notes anything she thinks would be nice to have once she arrives.

You can try asking the camp for suggestions of someone she could meet before camp, so she knows at least one other person, which can help put her at ease during that first week.

And then, put your own anxiety aside, and project all the confidence you can muster. She can do this!

groovy1224

Tue, Jun 25 2019, 2:48 pm

For crying out loud- this site is sometimes SO annoying.

Your kid doesn't need any cutesy stuff to feel happy? Great! You think OP is absolutely pathetic for suggesting that a teenage girl might like some fun items to enhance her camp experience? Not as great, but hey, you do you. Kumbaya.

When I was in 4th grade, my mom bought me these fuzzy pens from the dollar store. They were neon leopard print and had a pom pom on the end. I gave them out to my friends and we had a grand old time writing notes to each other with our 'special' pens. Perhaps if I was a better 9 year old, I would have preferred a nice solid BIC or a classic #2 lead. But alas, I was flawed. I caved. I worshipped Lisa Frank and all she stood for. But in a shocking twist of fate, I turned into a normal, adjusted adult. Even though my mom occasionally indulged my childish desire for cute and pretty things.

So OP, I say, ignore the naysayers. Buy the chair. Buy the cute bedspread. Get her the cute shower caddy. Come back in 8 weeks and let us know if she turns out to still be a good kid at the end of it.

amother

White

Tue, Jun 25 2019, 3:54 pm

For heaven’s sake...first OP asks about camp maarava and she’s told to be less specific. She takes that advice to heart and types exactly what a poster told her to put as a new title and she’s being told to be specific!
OP...sorry. This must be frustrating. But you can see what the trends seem to be. Chairs, cute linen, a tutu... My daughter went to maarava and loved it. It was a few years ago when it was smaller, so I don’t have the current trends, but it was a chilled group of girls. I can tell you that the best thing dd did was to find an older sister of a camper in town to give her a packing list and advice.