Can I NOT GIVE BAR MITZVA GIFTS??help!!!

amother

Apricot

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 8:38 am

All I want to say is my dh has a friend who has never bought us a gift, not for a baby or bar or Bas mitzvah and he’s really wealthy and we keep on giving him gifts for all his simchos and it really bothers my husbamd that he can’t give a gift.

If it’s money it’s one thing but it’s really not nice not to give gifts and bar mitzvah boys really remember who gave and who didn’t give gifts.

Basic manners is to bring a gift when you go to an event. Find a way to give an affordable gift or call three mothers and make up that you will
Give together for each bar mitzvah but attending without a gift is not nice it cost money per child that goes to the event.

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Jul 05 2019, 2:55 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I never give gifts now bec. Of finances. So many ppl deserve Presents whether money or gift...but if I give noone, it saves a lot of money.

But, now my kids are older, they have their friends simchas like bar mitzvahs and bas mitzvas.......and I dont know if they can go and not give their friend a present(and yes im ok if their friends dont reciprocate bec its cheaper if I just give my children presents myself....)

What do u think???

And, if I give a gift what is a cheap nice gift to give??? Or, is there such a thing as a gift cheap enough but also nice enough to give??? I dont think giving a sefer will be appreciated...and I dont think giving a siddur is appreciated either so...

(If u want to just bash me or criticize, pls avoid posting...im open to all views but pls be respectful...)

I think you have to give a gift, even if it’s small and inexpensive. To become known as someone who never gives a gift will result in your children being shame at some point, it’s just not menshlich.