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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
OP
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 5:04 pm
Anyone had any run ins with CPS and care to share?
I am terrified that the ER will call CPS on me and would appreciate hearing anyone’s experiences ...
(Background - My 9 month daughter climbed out of her crib and got a huge bump. My pediatrician sent me to the ER to have it checked out. She warned me that altho she believes me and understands what happened , the ER might report me to CPS.
Turns out, there was no serious damage at all, just bruising which will heal on its own. Also, I have moved mattress in crib so that it will not happen again.
But now I am in constant fear that CPS will show up....)
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flmommy
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 5:26 pm
I would try not to worry. If they do show up it would be just to make sure your home looks safe. Did the ER ask a bunch of questions that made you think they were indeed going to call?
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amother
Oak
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 5:28 pm
I would imagine if ER was worried they would have brought in a hospital social worker. If they were worried about your child's care - they likely would have made it difficult for you to go home.
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amother
Wine
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 5:32 pm
No need to worry. I've taken a kid to the ER for a broken elbow and a different kid several times for stitches, and never once heard from anyone. It's good to call the pediatrician first, I think that helps. When I called the pediatrician, he called the the specialist (plastic surgeon for the stitches, orthopedist for the broken elbow) and they came to meet me in the ER. I don't know if that set up of directly meeting the doctor in the hospital is the reason why no one felt the need to investigate further or if my local ER is really good at discerning when there's a cause for concern and when there isn't, but point is, I've brought kids to ER a few times for injuries and CPS never got involved. I totally understand your worry though, I know a few people who were wrongly accused
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amother
OP
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 5:32 pm
flmommy wrote: | I would try not to worry. If they do show up it would be just to make sure your home looks safe. Did the ER ask a bunch of questions that made you think they were indeed going to call? |
No , they were nice and reassuring there
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amother
Indigo
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 5:36 pm
I doubt they will show up. If it's a bump on her head that's one of the areas that aren't instantly red flagged because kids bump their heads all the time.
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aricelli
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 5:36 pm
If you know exactly what happened (and there was no neglect) then they should be ok. If you come in and say I have no clue what happened they would investigate further
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amother
Crimson
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 5:36 pm
Some injuries are easier to explain than others. Yours sounds pretty straightforward, and as long as you come across as normal you probably wouldn't have raised any red flags. Recently I brought my DS in for a broken bone and I noticed that even though most questions were directed at me, every person addressed him when they asked how it happened. And I'm sure it was on the chart already.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 5:38 pm
amother [ Wine ] wrote: | No need to worry. I've taken a kid to the ER for a broken elbow and a different kid several times for stitches, and never once heard from anyone. It's good to call the pediatrician first, I think that helps. When I called the pediatrician, he called the the specialist (plastic surgeon for the stitches, orthopedist for the broken elbow) and they came to meet me in the ER. I don't know if that set up of directly meeting the doctor in the hospital is the reason why no one felt the need to investigate further or if my local ER is really good at discerning when there's a cause for concern and when there isn't, but point is, I've brought kids to ER a few times for injuries and CPS never got involved. I totally understand your worry though, I know a few people who were wrongly accused |
Thank you for the reassurance. I also know someone who has been wrongly accused and since pediatrician warned me it may occur, I am having conniptions and terrified that I don’t even know the worst to expect.
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amother
Oak
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 5:40 pm
amother [ Indigo ] wrote: | I doubt they will show up. If it's a bump on her head that's one of the areas that aren't instantly red flagged because kids bump their heads all the time. |
I think what she is saying is 'will CPS visit me because based on the information provided to the ER I may be considered to be parenting recklessly'.
Yes kids bump heads. And probably kids bump heads a lot when they realize (before their parents do) that they can leap out of their cribs).
Had OP showed up and said - I left my baby on the dining room table - and this happened -the response may have been different.
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amother
Olive
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 6:29 pm
When my daughter was 16 months old she fell into a kiddie pool in my backyard that my kids were playing in. I was literally right there but all it takes is a second and long short short, we spent the night in the ER to monitor for signs of secondary drowning. A hospital social worker questioned me but also told me that she had to only because of the cause of why we were there. All near-drownings are questioned. Same for certain other injuries. I was panicked like you are OP, but nobody gave me a hard time at all. Between the police and the medics and the social workers, most of them assured me they are also parents and they get it. They said if I had been negligent or avoided seeking medical care then it would be different, but they knew there wasn’t anything suspicious. After we went home I didn’t hear from anyone about any of it. Refuah shelayma to your baby.
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FranticFrummie
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 7:09 pm
When DD was 2, I took her in for a well child checkup. The pediatrician noticed a lot of bruises on her arms and legs, and immediately said "Don't worry. We're trained to know what to look for, and those are normal childhood injuries. She's still getting the hang of running around and playing on equipment, right?"
He also said that a child that age with no bruises at all is sometimes worrying, because it makes him think that the child is not allowed to play at all, or get any healthy exercise. Bruises that look like a hand print, or on places that a child wouldn't injure by themselves through play, are what sets off the red flags.
Doctors and social workers also profile the parents, to see if they act evasive, dishonest, or angry with the child. They profile the child to see if the child is constantly looking to the parent to make sure they are answering the questions "properly", evading answering questions, avoiding eye contact, or otherwise trying to pretend that nothing happened.
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behappy2
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 7:11 pm
If they didn't bother you in the hospital then they aren't coming after you.
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amother
Vermilion
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 7:16 pm
Had a horror story where a social worker tried to paint us as negligent, yelled at us, came to visit every day, got angry when we didn't answer phone on Shabbos. We considered hiring a lawyer but fortunately the city listened to our complaints and took her off our case.
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amother
Taupe
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 7:19 pm
I worked in the ER and had to report some people. Your story doesn't sound report worthy. Most of the time if there was concern we'd have to keep them until cps showed up. There were a couple times they said they'd follow up (ex- caregiver showed up admittedly high on heroine they took while caring for the small kids with them, mom failing to bring child in after self harming and cutting a lot-said he did it to himself and should face the consequences (they came in after school nurse insisted on psych eval) and they were fighting over who said the other should die first). There was one case another provider legally had to call on. 14 year old came in with marks from his dad beating him. Dad was not being charged. It happened after kid was found to be out at 3am selling guns illegally and no one blamed dad for that. Still, they were forced to stay in ER until cps and police came.
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flowerpower
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 7:19 pm
Based on what you posted, it doesn’t seem like you need to worry. They usually send in a social worker in the hospital to ask you a lot of questions.
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pesek zman
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 7:27 pm
I’m a social worker in a major NYC children’s hospital. I repert (and don’t report) cases all the time. Feel free to PM me
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amother
Oak
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 7:29 pm
pesek zman wrote: | I’m a social worker in a major NYC children’s hospital. I repert (and don’t report) cases all the time. Feel free to PM me |
Generally speaking - do you have cases where you would report and you didn't personally interview the family?
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pesek zman
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 7:32 pm
amother [ Oak ] wrote: | Generally speaking - do you have cases where you would report and you didn't personally interview the family? |
I personally only report when I met the family and assess there was (a high chance of) abuse or neglect. But anyone can (and is mandated to) report (doctor, nurse, etc) if they have concerns.
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amother
Oak
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Wed, Jul 17 2019, 7:35 pm
pesek zman wrote: | I personally only report when I met the family and assess there was (a high chance of) abuse or neglect. But anyone can (and is mandated to) report (doctor, nurse, etc) if they have concerns. |
That makes a lot of sense. I wonder if certain nurses and docs avoid asking certain questions to avoid coming to a place where they might have a concern - rather defer to you.
I guess also there isn't a social worker on call 24/7 at the hospital either.
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