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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
amother
OP
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 9:32 am
My 3 year old started nursery. She's been on the bus for a little over a week now. Every day since she cries and refuses to get up, dressed, eat, and go on the bus. Even if we can calm her down enough to get ready, she bursts into fresh tears when she is put on the bus and the bus Morah says she cries all the way to school.
We have tried:
making a chart to get stickers for getting ready nicely
buying little animals that clip onto her bag to be her friends on the bus
bribing her to stop crying
spoke to the teacher to make sure she is happy in school (she is, she talks about it happily enough)
I'm getting her together with another girl on the bus on Shabbos in the hope that a friend will help.
We aren't switching her school or driving her, so she will have to get used to it. Any ideas to get her used to it more quickly?
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thunderstorm
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 9:34 am
I’m not sure what to tell you. But I do recall when I was that age I used to be very nauseous on the bus ride and I didn’t know how to describe what I felt so I would just cry.
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amother
Firebrick
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 9:36 am
3 is quite young for the bus...
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amother
OP
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 9:51 am
thunderstorm wrote: | I’m not sure what to tell you. But I do recall when I was that age I used to be very nauseous on the bus ride and I didn’t know how to describe what I felt so I would just cry. |
I think it is largely separation anxiety coupled with a fear of the bus. Last year she was driven to playgroup and cried the first week or so a couple of minutes. She doesn't cry on the way home when she sits with her cousin, so I doubt it is queasiness.
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amother
Bronze
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 9:51 am
3 is way to young for a bus. Poor kid! Please drive her to school or figure something out; that’s your responsibility as her mom... good luck!
You should probably observe her school setting and pop in to make sure that she is as happy and secure as you think....
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Ruchel
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 9:54 am
Cute. There are parents who don't drive and cannot commute on subway or public bus daily. It probably works with an only and one sahp
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amother
Lavender
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 10:02 am
Wow. So much judgement! Sorry, OP. I feel you it's hard!
OP could you find out if she is nauseous?
Provide her with an easy, mess-free snack or toy specifically for the bus? Can she sit next to the bus teacher and get special attention? Make the bus into a special routine? Maybe try bringing her to school for a few days until she's entirely settled there and then try the bus again? You've tried several things, so maybe it's just needs an adjustment period.
Im out of suggestions, but much hatzlacha!
Last edited by amother on Fri, Sep 13 2019, 10:03 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Lavender
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 10:03 am
Wow. So much judgement! Sorry, OP. I feel you it's hard!
OP could you find out if she is nauseous?
Provide her with an easy, mess-free snack or toy specifically for the bus? Can she sit next to the bus teacher and get special attention? Make the bus into a special routine? Maybe try bringing her to school for a few days until she's entirely settled there and then try the bus again? You've tried several things, so maybe it's just needs an adjustment period.
Im out of suggestions, but much hatzlacha!
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amother
OP
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 10:05 am
amother [ Bronze ] wrote: | 3 is way to young for a bus. Poor kid! Please drive her to school or figure something out; that’s your responsibility as her mom... good luck!
You should probably observe her school setting and pop in to make sure that she is as happy and secure as you think.... |
My responsibility as a parent is to put a roof over my children's heads, give them food, clothing an an education. I'm not quitting my job to drive my kid to school every day! Neither is my husband. There are plenty of children her age on the bus, it is the norm in her school and our neighborhood. I did go to the school and do my diligence on making sure there is no other issue. My husband works in a yeshiva and they told him some of the nursery kids there cry on the bus for a month. I posted here for ideas on how to make sure that doesn't happen.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 10:15 am
amother [ Lavender ] wrote: | Wow. So much judgement! Sorry, OP. I feel you it's hard!
OP could you find out if she is nauseous?
Provide her with an easy, mess-free snack or toy specifically for the bus? Can she sit next to the bus teacher and get special attention? Make the bus into a special routine? Maybe try bringing her to school for a few days until she's entirely settled there and then try the bus again? You've tried several things, so maybe it's just needs an adjustment period.
Im out of suggestions, but much hatzlacha! |
Thanks for the ideas! What do you mean by a special routine? We've tried basically everything else.
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Shuly
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 10:17 am
Try giving her a piece of mint gum to chew on the bus. It should stop the nausea if that's the problem.
My DD does that and throws it out when she gets to school because they don't allow gum in school.
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amother
Denim
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 10:19 am
What worked for my anxious 5 yr old was to have an older kid on the bus be her “buddy”. She sat next to her and walked her to her classroom for the first few weeks. After that she was fine on her own but always knew she had someone looking out for her.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 10:21 am
amother [ Denim ] wrote: | What worked for my anxious 5 yr old was to have an older kid on the bus be her “buddy”. She sat next to her and walked her to her classroom for the first few weeks. After that she was fine on her own but always knew she had someone looking out for her. |
Wish I knew someone who could do that in the morning, this is why she doesn't cry in the afternoon. Oh well, hopefully she will make a friend this Shabbos and it will do the job.
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amother
Denim
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 10:24 am
Maybe call the school and ask them to suggest someone on your bus route that you can reach out to.
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amother
Amethyst
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 10:24 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | My responsibility as a parent is to put a roof over my children's heads, give them food, clothing an an education. I'm not quitting my job to drive my kid to school every day! Neither is my husband. There are plenty of children her age on the bus, it is the norm in her school and our neighborhood. I did go to the school and do my diligence on making sure there is no other issue. My husband works in a yeshiva and they told him some of the nursery kids there cry on the bus for a month. I posted here for ideas on how to make sure that doesn't happen. |
Sorry I dont have ideas it really seems like your doing everything! Only thing I can think of is a book or pictures but cant say from experience. But I think it Just has to do with more time adjusting. Just wanted to say- good for you for writing this. I agree!
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amother
Bronze
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 10:51 am
Your responsibility as a parent isn’t to just take care of her physical needs but you have an achrayus towards her emotional safety and security as well. Yes, you might need to take off ( come late) a few mornings to drive her to school until she is comfortable. I totally understand it’s really difficult to juggle being a working mom and it sounds like you are really trying hard but if she isn’t comfortable soon it’s still your responsibility as a mom to ensure that she is ok. I only am saying this with good intentions and please understand my words in that regard. Much luck figuring this out ( the bus buddy does sound like a nice idea as well) and may your daughter thrive this year on the bus and throughout her day.
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causemommysaid
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 11:12 am
amother [ Bronze ] wrote: | Your responsibility as a parent isn’t to just take care of her physical needs but you have an achrayus towards her emotional safety and security as well. Yes, you might need to take off ( come late) a few mornings to drive her to school until she is comfortable. I totally understand it’s really difficult to juggle being a working mom and it sounds like you are really trying hard but if she isn’t comfortable soon it’s still your responsibility as a mom to ensure that she is ok. I only am saying this with good intentions and please understand my words in that regard. Much luck figuring this out ( the bus buddy does sound like a nice idea as well) and may your daughter thrive this year on the bus and throughout her day. |
there is a bus morah with the kids the whole time. I really think OPs daughter will be ok.
lots of kids cry the first few weeks on the bus.
OP, what if she sat with the morah in the morning?
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Ruchel
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 11:13 am
There's a mora? Yeah sit her next to her. That's more than the busses I'm familiar with for sure (we also don't have belts and a/c and those lucky enough to have a bus use it).
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amother
Emerald
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 12:50 pm
Also make sure there is no one bothering her on the bus.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Sep 13 2019, 1:44 pm
She sits with the Morah every day.
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