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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
coloredleaves
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Fri, Nov 01 2019, 2:15 am
What is standard cost for chasson from middle income yeshivish family to spend on yichud room jewelry gift? And is there currently a standard type of jewelry? ( I know we can do what we want- but I'm interested in knowing the common norms)
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amother
Olive
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Fri, Nov 01 2019, 2:26 am
Usually they give pearls and most people buy the Chinese which is very affordable as opposed to the Japanese which is like triple the amount
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amother
Amber
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Fri, Nov 01 2019, 5:58 am
It depends on your community. Not everyone always gives pearls. I hate pearls and didn't want.
In the end I actually chose the necklace I wanted (my sil lives in the same town and my in-laws are OOT, so she was in charge of getting it and just told me that she doesn't see why I shouldn't pick exactly what I want )
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DVOM
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Fri, Nov 01 2019, 6:20 am
I wanted (and got) a grey, black, pink and purple pearl necklace. My husband surprised me and got me a matching bracelet. I still love wearing them and get a lot of compliments on them. I have no idea how much they cost or what the standard is nowadays. Why not have the groom ask the bride what she wants? That's what my husband did.
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Elfrida
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Fri, Nov 01 2019, 6:35 am
DVOM wrote: | I have no idea how much they cost or what the standard is nowadays. Why not have the groom ask the bride what she wants? That's what my husband did. |
Some kallahs also have no idea of what would be reasonable expenditure.
Everyone e has to set a budget based on what they can afford. They can make an effort and make it a generous budget. Within that budget, certainly let the kablan choose what she wants. Some people speak to the jewelry shop beforehand, so that he can direct the kallah to a certain price range.
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SuperWify
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Fri, Nov 01 2019, 7:14 am
Most people are not doing pearls nowadays. A heart pendant or diamond solitaire necklace is much more common (get a small diamond with crushed diamonds all around it to make it look bigger for like $1,000-1,200).
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yersp
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Fri, Nov 01 2019, 7:21 am
What happened to diamond earrings in yichud room? I went to the jewelry store my inlaws chose and picked earrings from the trays I was shown. Mil had gone to store earlier to tell store owner the price range and I chose from there.
But really the gift could be any piece of jewelry. Whatever you prefer.
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amother
Dodgerblue
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Fri, Nov 01 2019, 7:24 am
I got a diamond necklace.
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amother
Lime
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Fri, Nov 01 2019, 8:32 am
Most people are doing diamonds now. Lots of diamond necklaces
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amother
Cobalt
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Fri, Nov 01 2019, 8:54 am
I got a pearl necklace for $500. I'm astonished that people spend that much money on a yichud room gift, and it sounds like most people spend a lot more than that...
I would've preferred some simple earrings or necklace. Not pearls. But DH didn't ask me, just asked his friend what most people do.
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amother
Ecru
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Fri, Nov 01 2019, 9:14 am
yersp wrote: | What happened to diamond earrings in yichud room? I went to the jewelry store my inlaws chose and picked earrings from the trays I was shown. Mil had gone to store earlier to tell store owner the price range and I chose from there.
But really the gift could be any piece of jewelry. Whatever you prefer. |
Earrings add a lot to the face and you want them in the pictures so ppl give them as a gift during the engagement. And some people dont get earrings at all.
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Gulabi
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Mon, Nov 04 2019, 11:11 am
Do a lot of girls get the same thing then, the heart pendants and so on? They choose what's on trend?
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madys
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Mon, Nov 04 2019, 12:34 pm
My husband got me a set of 5 leather bound machzorim. After 22 years, I'm still using them.
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twogees
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Mon, Nov 04 2019, 12:45 pm
My husband asked me what I wanted and said anything but Pearl's. I personally don't like pearls so I got earrings instead.
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watergirl
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Mon, Nov 04 2019, 12:46 pm
SuperWify wrote: | Most people are not doing pearls nowadays. A heart pendant or diamond solitaire necklace is much more common (get a small diamond with crushed diamonds all around it to make it look bigger for like $1,000-1,200). |
Its crazy that these standards change so much. A nice pearl necklace could be bought for $200. Why are people spending all of this money on each thing? There is a reason for pearls (eishes chayil). Now its diamonds. I have no idea why.
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dee's mommy
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Mon, Nov 04 2019, 12:53 pm
Are gifts in the yichud room a common custom? Is this the general expectation?
I gave my husband a tallis. He had already tried it on in the store.
Other than that, no gifts. (Someone before the wedding told me that my husband should give me a pearl necklace, but I thought that was unnecessary, since I already had one from my grandmother. He had already bought me two rings, (engagement and wedding), why should he buy more?
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amother
Teal
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Mon, Nov 04 2019, 12:56 pm
Pearls are a minhag, and freshwater pearls are very cheap.
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amother
Turquoise
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Mon, Nov 04 2019, 12:57 pm
32 Yrs ago so I’m sure things have changed
I got pearl necklace and matching earrings at the vort.
Before Mikvah I got a huge basket with a makeup set, perfume, small jewelry box, and a watch very nice but not fancy, also a robe and matching nightgown, slippers, an evening bag with money inside for the Mikvah.
I also got a leather siddur and Tehillim with my name engraved
For the Yichud room l got my diamond “engagement” ring
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amother
Periwinkle
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Mon, Nov 04 2019, 1:09 pm
amother [ Teal ] wrote: | Pearls are a minhag, and freshwater pearls are very cheap. |
A community norm is not a minhag. Don't give halachic status to something that has no religious standing.
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