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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
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Wed, Nov 27 2019, 11:07 am
We recently lost my grandfather. I wanted to explain to dd who's 10 about shiva and the different minhagim/halochas surrounding mourning. Is there a children's book that is appropriate and that explains this?
I'm not looking for a book on death-she's okay with the loss and I feel comfortable talking to her about that-it's the other aspects.
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Elfrida
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Wed, Nov 27 2019, 11:54 am
I don't know of any books, but she is probably familiar with a lot of minhagei aveilut from the nine days and Tisha b'Av. Could you use that ad a starting point to explain things to her?
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Ruchel
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Wed, Nov 27 2019, 12:15 pm
I explained what they noticed. But despite seeing me keep full shiva and all it apparently bh didn't really strike them
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amother
OP
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Wed, Nov 27 2019, 3:58 pm
It's all the other aspects-the covering the mirrors, having the candle lit, why all the people are coming in, what do the shloshim mean.
I don't want to dwell on it too much-she seems ok with it, but I feel like I want her to understand what is going on. We would go every shabbos, during the week etc-she knew him really well, so it's not like it doesn't mean anything to her.
I think it's how to you explain it to a 10 year old that she should understand what it all means. I don't know what she's hearing from other people-I know some of her teachers etc have mentioned something to her. I also know she's probably hearing different words mentioned-hesped, levaya etc and wanted to know if there's a suitable book that I could read with her.
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lech lecha08
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Wed, Nov 27 2019, 7:10 pm
When my MIL passed away and I took the kids to the shiva house (they were too young for the funeral), I just explained Abba, Saba, other relatives would be sitting low, shirts would have a tear, etc.
You may not necessarily need a book. Just let her ask questions and see where the conversation goes. We ended up talking about how just the guf is in the ground, her neshama is with Hashem and memories are inside of them. I never even thought about mentioning it to them, but my 6 year old was surprised that Savta left all her clothes in her closet. It never even occurred to me that she thought you take everything with you.
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