Secret San**a | Imamother

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 1:53 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So my workplace has a "secret s***a" holiday gift exchange. If I don't participate it looks bad, but I'm not comfortable taking part in a xtian holiday ritual (even though I don't think it has religious significance). Anyome else have experience with this?

OP, santa claus is NOT a religious ritual in any shape of the word. Its a cultural thing.

Also, so many people do this now a days (I remember doing something like this in sleep away camp over 30 years ago) with so many different names. We called it gamad/anak.

Its not as big a deal as you are making it out to be.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 2:50 am

For all those people who say that santa is commercial and not religious:

Yes- it has become commercialized but its roots are part of a religion which is antiethical to ours. Not only that, but many of our ancestors were killed for refusing to celebrate their holidays and recognize their religion.

Bh we live in a time and age where we are free to practice our religion without fear or repercussion and we are just throwing that away "not to be rude"
Op- tell the person who you is in charge that you are jewish and would love to participate in a holiday secret gift exchange or a secret friend exchange.

Anyways, religion has no place in the workplace.

Or ask a rav

chefmama

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 3:54 am

To add: I don't think there is anything wrong with writing out san**, but I personally wouldn't take part in anything from another religion in the workplace. (or anywhere else)

OP maybe get your boss to change name of the game?? Secret Friend as another poster mentioned?

chanchy123

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 4:16 am

In Israel people do this leading up to Purim. It's called gamad vanak.
I hate it as a parent (my kids usually have multiple gamad anaks going on in Purim season. I know a lot of work places have this too. It's so awkward. My office has a mishloach manot exchange you can opt in to, which is basically the same thing.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 4:24 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

First of all, santa claus is based after a saint so it definitely DOES have religious connotations.

I'm shocked that on a frum site people would be making light of someone being involved in something that is of a different religion.

Even if you don't feel uncomfortable, SHE DOES feel uncomfortable.

Also, do you NOT see the difference between a "gamad/anak" gift exchange and a secret santa?

LovesHashem

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 5:48 am

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

They don't speak hebrew in the USA. Any type of gift exchange any time of year is called Secret Santa in most places.

amother

Smokey

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 5:51 am

Personally, I'd just participate in it. Santa Claus is not part of any religion, it is cultural, but Santa Claus is also not part of "secret Santa," that's just the name of the "game."

Just think of it as buying a gift for a colleage, because that's what it is. Your intention is to participate in the "game," you are not saying "I want to participate in your religious Holiday and to do that I'm giving you this gift."

zaq

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 6:17 am

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

I didn't know there was was one in IL - the one I'm familiar with is in MO. Tongue Out

(And not the Imamother "MO")
lf.

Whoops, you got me there! Across the river from MizzooRAH it’s actually East St. Louis. Kinda like West New York, NJ.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 6:23 am

LovesHashem wrote:

They don't speak hebrew in the USA. Any type of gift exchange any time of year is called Secret Santa in most places.

Well obviously. But the name means something. OP would probably feel differently if it was called "holiday exchange" etc.
And just because its done like that doesn't mean its ok. Santa is a religious thing even if it was only coopted by Christians (and it DEFINITELY has roots in christianity) and so in the workplace should have a different name to be more inclusive.

Words matter

amother

Powderblue

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 7:55 am

I’m in a new workplace this year. They do Secret Santa, which I’ve never done before. It didn’t bother me, but anyway they changed the name of the event to Secret Festivus. I guess we will all drop our gifts off at the nearest subway pole.

singleagain

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 8:05 am

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

Which is probably why it's not really a religious event.

OP, if you feel comfortable enough to ask your colleagues...I wonder if they think of this as a religious event .. or indeed how religious they think of Santa Claus.

groovy1224

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 9:11 am

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

I actually agree, and I have no problem myself participating in our office secret Santa.

If it were a Jewish office, and they called it mystery macabee, and there was a non Jew there who felt weird, I think people would be understanding. Why can't OP get the same consideration? It's great that most people think it's fine, but OP is uncomfortable. She's allowed.

amother

Emerald

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 9:13 am

zaq wrote:

Whoops, you got me there! Across the river from MizzooRAH it’s actually East St. Louis. Kinda like West New York, NJ.

Never knew of that one! You either have a great command of geography or were unintentionally mechaven to a not well known city! Smile

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 9:25 am

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

When I say its not based on anything religious, it has nothing to do with the religiousness of x-mas.
There is literally NOTHING different between secret santa and gamad anak. SOmeone is given a random name to buy a gift for. Same thing in both games.

amother

Mustard

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 9:37 am

groovy1224 wrote:

Actually if a non-Jewish person were working in Israel where Judaism is a cultural thing, I very much doubt they would be offended or uncomfortable by participating in a December gift giving activity called Mystery Macabee because the activity would not be viewed as having any real religious significance.

It's no different in the US where the name Santa and having an exchange of gifts whatever called is just a way to bring some fun into the workplace. People often also have rituals around other holidays - for example, I worked at a place where they gave out chocolate on Valentines Day - did anyone associate that with either a pagan ritual or a Saint (Valentine?).

Working in a non-Jewish environment IMHO means that you don't sweat the small meaningless stuff in terms of making an issue because a lot of being successful and happy in a work environment is how you get along and are perceived by the other people. Not wanting to participate in a ritual that has no religious significance to ANY of the participants is going to label you as weird and standoffish and rigid.