S/o did you have a teacher that did something amazing for yo

amother

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 11:57 pm

I had an accident in first grade, and I guess my teacher realized it. She told me that because I read so nicely today the principal wants to give me a gift. Of course I refused to get up. So she asked me if I would like her to push me in my desk to the principal. She pulled me into the hallway and whispered that she has a change of panties and tights and I should change In the bathroom. Then she gave me a little prize to show the rest of the class what I got. Till today I can’t get over how nicely she dealt with the situation and protected a little 6 year olds dignity.

amother

Azure

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 1:18 am

Yes.
I come from an abusive and dysfunctional home. My seminary teacher somehow knew something wasn't right about my home situation and made it clear at every opportunity she could that she understands me. She prepared shiurim to comfort me in my misery that were targeted just for me and what I was going through.
Eventually I finally mustered the courage to open up to her. I was in a really bad place and she helped me connect with a therapist. Sadly, it wasn't my first therapist but the first one horribly damaged me for reasons I would rather not mention now. My teacher let me visit her in her house either by making an appointment to visit, or late on Shabbos afternoon she let me come in anytime (after she woke up from her nap). She was so incredibly kind and caring yet still had healthy boundaries to not get overly involved in my life and not have me just come and go anytime I pleased without permission.
Sadly, very soon after I got close to her she was diagnosed with cancer and suffered terribly a few more years before dying.
She came to my wedding on the same day she had chemo and her husband practically had to carry her in as she was so weak and sick. When she died sadly nobody told me that she died so I missed the funeral and shiva and and only found out by chance weeks later and had no one to talk to about my grief. I cried every day for 2 years straight. Slowly after years and years I sort of moved on by trying really hard to be the best I can be and somehow that gives me comfort.
I will never forget her kindness and I am sure many times I was kind to others only due to her influence. May her soul and memory be blessed.
Annon because anyone who knows me will "recognize " me immediately.

amother

Papaya

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 1:50 am

After posting my long rant on the other thread, this is a welcome reprieve. I had an 11th grade writing teacher that recognized my creativity and pushed me to write more, even if it wasn't for class and I didn't submit it to her. After 2 years of misery, it really helped my healing process. One of my history teachers, knowing that I was a really bad test taker but very auditory, told my mom that she purposely asked me more questions in class (in a VERY discreet way, I didn't even notice it) because she knew I would know the answer in class but blank out on tests. She would then use that to up my grade.

Teachers like these are the reason why so many wronged students have not lost faith in humanity completely.

dankbar

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 2:13 am

I was going through some hard times & one teacher in 7th grade, really tried to uplift me indirectly without making me feel like a nebach.

She called me out of class & told me that since I was such a nice kid, I should be mekarev the newcomer to the class. She is relying on me to be nice & friendly to her, as she is only being bullied by the others.

Another time she called me out of class, to share great news with me that she will be headcounselor.

I really didn't feel like she's doing it as a NEBACH case. I felt she truly loved me. I was a great student so I thought that's why she liked me.

A couple of years later, I put two & two together, when I found my writings, of that year, where it revealed my pains. When I left school, I wrote her a letter to thank her. She denied that the writing & her kindness had any shaychis & said she only remembers me as being top & nothing else. She didn't remember to go out of her way especially for me....

Ruchel

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 6:05 am

I had a teacher who was born soon after the war and would tell about the Shoah I hope no one forgot. Everyone was so listening (a feat in high school where kids are teens) and interested. I think even though bh it's taught a lot, he really stood out.

Another teacher I "hated" at first because he was typical harsh, but really taught us respect (also happened to be from a resistnt family)

My first grade teacher was the generation still used her ruler to teach spelling - I won spelling contests before internet killed that

My husband is a great teacher. he's harsh for imamother, but not for us, and his students love him if the drawings he get prove it. He's fair but demanding and caring but not stressing.

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 8:38 am

A 3rd and 4th grade teacher who always smiled and complimented me. They would compliment me even though id throw back the compliment. They never gave up.
Ingrew up in svere dysfuction, neglect, and abuse (a part of it was the pit on a nice face. Like not bathed for weeks but wearing what she deemed stylish dress.... hear alwsy cut short....) putting up a nice face in the community with chesed (forcing her kids to do it....)

So noone guessed. But they picked something up and with their kind hearts they made a huge difference. Even many years later, they were someone I thought would care if I commited suiside.

A first grade teacher (morning and afternoon) that were just kind.
One was like a big old grandmother. Although she was really young in her 20s.
The other just loved us like her little sister. She'd relay out cute mistaked and what we said to anyone whod hear. She was so proud of us.
(Sne is my sisters friend.... I heard back many things and it made me feel so proud and loved!!!!)

A grade teacher that we really tourtuted. We did crazy stuff. I once called her up to ask her mechila. I wasnt the ring leader but I was loud and got ppl to participate in the horrible things.
She said she never held any grudge ever. It might have been hard at the moment but we were kids and its all good.
THERE IN THAT MOMENT SHE TAUGHT ME THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!
And I am forever greatful.

amother

Teal

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:09 am

This is about the school secretary, not a teacher. Although she has been a teacher too. My dd was a very sensitive kindergartner with some behavioural issues. One Friday, after having a huge tantrum and throwing things, the principal decided she must be sent home. I came to pick her up, and you could see on her face how embarrassed and hurt she was. It was heartbreaking. The principal have us a little speech and as we turned to leave, the secretary stopped us and handed us something. For some background, that week was my daughter's birthday and in her school, in kindergarten, the Morah makes a little party and they take pictures and on Friday they send home one paper with a collage of black and white pictures. The secretary handed us a booklet with one blown up picture in color on each sheet and started talking to my daughter and asking her about the party etc. I literally had tears rolling down my face. The sensitivity she showed has just what did needed. And she continues to be that warm caring presence in the school. She's the one my dds talked to and opened up about their grandparent's death. She is truly a special woman.

Anon because I've told this to many people.

amother

Emerald

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 10:47 am

This is going to be slightly different from the other answers

Many years ago I had this old school teacher who would be made fun of and criticized on imamother .

She was actually wonderful. Girls left her class as changed people.

One of the messages that she frequently gave us that I deeply appreciate was "whatever happens in life don't be the type of person who is thirty five years old and still blaming all her problems and faults on her parents/school/community that she grew up in"

When I read some imamother threads (like that one) I think it is amazing that she managed to ingrain that message into us

thunderstorm

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 11:01 am

My sister and I were lucky to have some truly amazing teachers in our lifetime. I appreciated their love and care so much.

1. When I was in first grade my teacher had “doctor time” for a few minutes every day. If you wanted to kvetch about something , that was the time to do it. Each girl went up to her desk while she asked what bothered them. They then told her if something hurt or was bothering them and she gave reassuring words and validation and made you feel better before you went back to your desk.

2. When I was in the 6th grade my teacher complimented me on my writing and said that she found it fascinating that I wrote so well , when I disliked reading and only read books like Curious George. One day she said that she wanted to lend me a book from her home , it was a really fat book , and she said that I should read one page every night before bed. The story was very inspirational and it kept me interested . She had faith in me that I was fully capable of reading way more than I believed I was capable of. After that , reading became one of my biggest interests and I owe that to her.

3. My sister was in a lot of pain after my parents divorced . From 1st through 3rd grade, her afternoon teachers took her home once a week to their homes to “help” them with their kids and supper prep. She ate supper by them and they did homework with her and then they walked her part way home (I used to meet them at the halfway point to take her the rest of the way) . This was all as a chesed and not for pay.

4. My sister’s 4th grade teacher still calls her once a year at least, even though my sisters in her 30s to see how she is doing and to make sure that she’s ok.

5. My 10th grade teacher took me under her wing once I told her what was going on in my home. She gave me her cell phone number and was available for me to call her 24-6 and her home was open to me to visit her on Shabbos and Yom Tov as well. I got married before her. She was fully involved in my wedding prep and drove me to the hall on my wedding day.

6. My brother’s menahel tried to be there for my brother , who had major behavioral issues due to our home life. When I got engaged, my 9yr old brother felt comfortable to go to the menahel (who is also a badchan) and asked him to be the badchan at my wedding. So the menahel told him “for your simcha, of course!” And my brother said “but one more thing, it needs to be for FREE!” And the menahel told him that he’s such a wonderful kid, he’d do it for free because he wants him to feel the true simcha”. He ended up being my badchan at my mitzvah tante and did an amazing job.

I could go on and on about some amazing teachers and other school staff who truly gave their heart and soul for my siblings and I.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 11:15 am

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

One of the messages that she frequently gave us that I deeply appreciate was "whatever happens in life don't be the type of person who is thirty five years old and still blaming all her problems and faults on her parents/school/community that she grew up in"

When I read some imamother threads (like that one) I think it is amazing that she managed to ingrain that message into us

Not to derail this thread, but I wish therapists gave this message more often. That's not to say that people aren't deeply affected/traumatized by their past, but at the end of the day, only you can choose to make something of yourself despite your past.

thunderstorm

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 11:25 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

this should probably be a spinoff but the fact is , that in order for YOU to choose to make something of yourself you need to be able to address the past. You need to be able to feel the pain, live with the pain , not push the pain away. Then accept the pain and once you allowed yourself to truly know the source of your pain only THEN can you move on in a healthy manner. That is why therapist’s have you go back. That is the start and root of healing.

amother

Mustard

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 11:26 am

thunderstorm wrote:

Wow. You made my very rough day a little easier.
There's hope and you're restored some of my faith in humanity.

amother

Pearl

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 11:30 am

I definitely did have some wonderful teachers.

My 3rd grade English teacher who complimented my work when I had just moved. I joined the class and was very overwhelmed, and the memory of her kindness still warms me.

My 6th grade teacher who wrote a personalized note at the end of the year to every student giving compliments and encouragement. I saved it for years.

My kind and thoughtful high school English teacher who taught by example what it means to be a good Jew.

A high school Navi teacher who was not judgmental at all, cared about her students, and was an inspiration.

A high school chumash teacher who listened to questions and really followed up and researched mefarshim on them and created lessons based on that. It showed a lot of respect to the students that she included them in the process of her teaching.

I don't think these teachers did anything particular for me that they didn't do for others. I think they were just really wonderful people and teachers and so they inspired me with their messages and personality. When teachers are nasty, I think its so painful because it feels like its really personal.