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-> Parenting our children
-> Toddlers
nchr
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 Thu, Jan 30 2020, 7:19 pm
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We're not huggy over here. I've never cuddled with any of my children, but I'll pinch their cheeks, rub their backs like a massage, etc.
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dankbar
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Fri, Jan 31 2020, 6:46 am
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are you squeezing her too tight, that she can't breathe? try going gentle if that's the case
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FranticFrummie
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Fri, Jan 31 2020, 9:38 am
OP, I understand. I davened for 20 years, before I could finally adopt my beautiful baby daughter. I am also a very affectionate, huggy person who likes lots of physical touch.
Then it turned out she hated to be swaddled, snuggled, held, or any kind of baby-wearing. I was so worried that she wasn't bonding with me! She loved to be near me all the time, though.
When she was 3 she started wanting to hug and kiss me, but it always had to be on her terms. If I tried to kiss her, she would wipe her face.
She turned out to be a super sensory kid, and it had nothing to do with emotional attachment at all.
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amother
Wine
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Fri, Jan 31 2020, 10:37 am
| amother [ Emerald ] wrote: | My son is like this. I think it's normal. I will never throw my hands around him in a hug. Instead, I will hold out my hands and ask him, would you like to come to mommy for a hug? Sometimes he comes, sometimes he declines. I've found that respecting his space makes him feel safe enough to come to me for cuddles and hugs if he needs them.
ETA: He can cuddle with his blanket for hours. |
Thank you for bringing that up. This is a very smart and safe way of hugging for all kids, not only those that don’t want.
You ask “ want a hug? Can you give me a hug?
It teaches them safety regarding their body. No one can force me to hug.
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amother
Puce
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Fri, Jan 31 2020, 1:38 pm
| amother [ Linen ] wrote: | | How does that differ from what I wrote & what the ped said? |
Excuse me? What I said is nothing like what you said, 
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