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-> Interesting Discussions
amother
OP
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 12:26 pm
I am supposed to give birth when my baby turns 15 months old Bezrat Hashem. Do you think my baby will be jealous of the newborn? What could I possibly do to make it easier?
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amother
Vermilion
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 12:29 pm
Probably.
A 15 month old is still a baby, even if there’s a newer baby.
People tend to treat them as if their not, but it’s important to continue to treat the older one as a baby.
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amother
Tangerine
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 12:30 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | I am supposed to give birth when my baby turns 15 months old Bezrat Hashem. Do you think my baby will be jealous of the newborn? What could I possibly do to make it easier? |
100% yes! She will be jealous. She might start acting out more, it's a big change and at that age they don't understand much what's going on. My 1st 2 are 15 months apart. You must remember that the older one is still a little baby and treat her like a baby. Don't ignore her. Cuddle and play with her. Give her tons of attention. Rock her to sleep. If she takes a paci and bottle, don't even think of getting rid of it for the next year.
Don't expect it to be easy, 2 babies is alot of work.
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amother
Seashell
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 12:33 pm
I introduced the new sibling as their baby, and my older ones did not have an issue. They loved the new baby. I also made sure to give them plenty of time and attention too. (18 months age difference)
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saralem
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 12:37 pm
While your older baby may show signs of “jealousy” this can be managed by giving her plenty of attention. And please remember that she will never recall life without baby. In my experience, when the older baby is 18 months or younger, the adjustment period is pretty quick. The older one needs more of your attention than the newborn.
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amother
Coral
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 12:39 pm
I have four kids with gaps of around 2 years between them. None of them was jealous of the new baby. Nothing I did in particular about it, that particular reaction just never occurred to them. I'm pretty sure at least one of them thought the baby was a visitor (am interesting one) and just assumed the real mother would show up sooner or later. (And these were very attached kids; two of them were still nursing when the next was born.)
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amother
Tangerine
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 12:42 pm
amother [ Coral ] wrote: | I have four kids with gaps of around 2 years between them. None of them was jealous of the new baby. Nothing I did in particular about it, that particular reaction just never occurred to them. I'm pretty sure at least one of them thought the baby was a visitor (am interesting one) and just assumed the real mother would show up sooner or later. (And these were very attached kids; two of them were still nursing when the next was born.) |
You cannot compare a 2 year old to a 15 month old. It's a huge difference.
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saralem
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 12:59 pm
I think a 2 year gap is harder than 15 month gap actually. I also have 4 kids that were born within 4 years. And others spaced further apart. I made sure to give the older ones ( toddlers and preschoolers) lots of attention, rather than the new baby.
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amother
Tangerine
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 1:02 pm
saralem wrote: | I think a 2 year gap is harder than 15 month gap actually. I also have 4 kids that were born within 4 years. And others spaced further apart. I made sure to give the older ones ( toddlers and preschoolers) lots of attention, rather than the new baby. |
A 2 year break is a different kind of hard.
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amother
Silver
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 1:17 pm
I had my second baby, a boy, 5 weeks ago. My older baby is 15 months old. She’s quite difficult around him. She cries and tries to hit him... She gets jealous. I try sitting on the floor with her, playing with her toys, while I hold the baby. Sometimes it helps and she stops crying, other times she starts hitting the baby. I don’t think she understands what she’s doing though. She thinks the baby is some sort of toy.
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amother
Tangerine
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 1:19 pm
amother [ Silver ] wrote: | I had my second baby, a boy, 5 weeks ago. My older baby is 15 months old. She’s quite difficult around him. She cries and tries to hit him... She gets jealous. I try sitting on the floor with her, playing with her toys, while I hold the baby. Sometimes it helps and she stops crying, other times she starts hitting the baby. I don’t think she understands what she’s doing though. She thinks the baby is some sort of toy. |
Are you holding her alot? Giving her lots of attention and cuddles? It's not easy, it takes time adjust.
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singleagain
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 1:24 pm
I was 15 months older than my brother. My mom involved me as much as possible. "Go get the baby a diaper. Pass mommy the wipes. Yay you helped change the baby's diaper." Stuff like that. I'll ask her for more deets
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amother
Silver
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 1:30 pm
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote: | Are you holding her alot? Giving her lots of attention and cuddles? It's not easy, it takes time adjust. |
Yes. I feel so bad for her...
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amother
Apricot
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 1:32 pm
As someone said above, if it's "their" baby there is less jealousy. So I would tell my 15 month old Leah, "look, it's your baby!" "Your baby is crying. Should mommy feed him?" "Do you want to hold your baby?"
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amother
Tangerine
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 1:33 pm
singleagain wrote: | I was 15 months older than my brother. My mom involved me as much as possible. "Go get the baby a diaper. Pass mommy the wipes. Yay you helped change the baby's diaper." Stuff like that. I'll ask her for more deets |
This is good advice for a 2 year old.
In my experience a 15 month old doesn't need to be involved nor does she understand what's going on. She's a baby that needs to be babied. Not a big kid that needs or wants or understands to help out.
Don't force her to grow up.
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amother
Yellow
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 1:36 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | I am supposed to give birth when my baby turns 15 months old Bezrat Hashem. Do you think my baby will be jealous of the newborn? What could I possibly do to make it easier? |
Definitely jealous. 15m is still a baby who needs to be babied. Best thing you can do is baby him/her as much as possible and get another set of hands to help with the new baby.
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amother
Linen
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 1:43 pm
Mine are 16 months apart. For the first couple weeks I kept the baby out of site as much as I could, like feed and put to sleep in my room and close the door, bassinet in the living room rather than bouncer seat etc. He still hit her a little and there was a transition time. But now she's 7 months and he LOVES her. He's the sweetest big brother and they're best friends
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amother
Green
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 1:46 pm
Following
I'm expecting my second when my first will be 12 monthes. I'm imagining at Such a young age the adjustment will be easier for the older one. I've seen that with my neice and nephew who are about 13 monthes apart.
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amother
Slateblue
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 1:48 pm
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote: | This is good advice for a 2 year old.
In my experience a 15 month old doesn't need to be involved nor does she understand what's going on. She's a baby that needs to be babied. Not a big kid that needs or wants or understands to help out.
Don't force her to grow up. |
It depends on the child.
15 months can be a crawling baby. Or 15 months can be a mature walking talking toddler.
My 11 month old, walks, runs, climbs onto tables, can safely go up and down stairs, talks like, mama dads, baba (byebye) understands and follows thru with basic commands (no boobo, careful, sit down, stand up, do not put it in your mouth).
From what I see, the younger the child the shorter and easier the adjustment.
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amother
Yellow
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Wed, Apr 22 2020, 1:50 pm
amother [ Slateblue ] wrote: | It depends on the child.
15 months can be a crawling baby. Or 15 months can be a mature walking talking toddler. |
Regardless of how mature a 15mo may seem, s/he is still an infant who needs babying. And mom needs never to forget that.
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