Do 15 month old babies get jealous of a new baby?

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Apr 22 2020, 1:51 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

It depends on the child.
15 months can be a crawling baby. Or 15 months can be a mature walking talking toddler.

My 11 month old, walks, runs, climbs onto tables, can safely go up and down stairs, talks like, mama dads, baba (byebye) understands and follows thru with basic commands (no boobo, careful, sit down, stand up, do not put it in your mouth).

From what I see, the younger the child the shorter and easier the adjustment.

Every 15 month child is still a baby. No matter how mature you think he is. It's very important to remember this when having a new baby 15 months apart. Even if he talks a walks, he's still a baby that needs to be babied.

amother

Apricot

Wed, Apr 22 2020, 1:58 pm

A 3-year old is also a baby, and even a 5-year old. I don't necessarily wean one child before the next is born, don't push to toilet train early to have less kids in diapers, and don't stop cuddles and tickles and silly nicknames either. Tandem nursing is probably one of the best jealousy-busters ever.

That plus the "it's your baby" (oh, and maybe some luck with personalities?) has meant that I have had to deal with very little jealousy.

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Apr 22 2020, 2:05 pm

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

Right, my older one was very possessive of her baby. Maybe because she thought it's a new doll??

Batsheva1

Wed, Apr 22 2020, 3:22 pm

My daughters are 17 months apart. They're now grown, but my older daughter was absolutely thrilled to meet her baby sister. She "got it" right away that this is a new member of the family and welcomed her with open arms. They have been best friends ever since. I think she may have been too young to be jealous. I, on the other hand, have a sister 31/2 years younger than me. I distinctly remember being jealous of her and not liking her. She took away the undivided attention I had from my mother for 3 years. I adjusted and I came to love her, but being older I think I understood more and had had more time alone with my mother and now had to share her.

thunderstorm

Wed, Apr 22 2020, 3:24 pm

In the beginning my 15 month old didn’t understand the whole baby thing. He started acting out a little and by the time the baby was 3 months old he was super jealous.

Refine

Wed, Apr 22 2020, 3:44 pm

My daughter was 16 months when her little sister was borne.
She was not jealous at all.
She wanted to touch the baby though, which wasn't safe so I kept that to a minimum. I found that "never touch," was easier for her to accept at that age than "touch gently."
I tried to never point out that she needs to modify her behaviour because of the baby (so no "shh, baby is sleeping" or "wait, I'm taking care of baby".) I just told her that she needed to wait if she needed to and didn't blame it anyone.
I tried to keep her schedule as consistent as possible.
And to this day, my older daughter just happens to have a giving, protective personality towards the younger kids, so it's also a nature.

amother

Bronze

Wed, Apr 22 2020, 4:54 pm

My oldest was 16.5 months when #2 was born, and (possibly due to personality) didn't show any signs of jealousy (it's easier when there are still just 2 and 2 parents...). In fact, I found that an easier adjustment than the next gap of 2 years, when #2 was old enough to really be cognizant of the change and jealous. #2 was not super excited about #3, whereas #1 seemed to forget that there was a time before #2 was born...

Sorry if all the numbers made that more confusing.

silverlining3

Wed, Apr 22 2020, 9:54 pm

My 1st 2, both girls, are 13.5 months apart. It was murder and not cuz of jealousy. My older was a baby like in the books, slept, fed, dirty diaper, and sleep again. Real easy baby. Baby #2 was colicy so cried tons and was up for the day by 8 hook or crook! Bh they're already 6 and 5. My 2nd one is still an early riser Smile

All I can say is, the main thing is try to stay calm and take it easy (I was not like that and it made things even harder Sad

)
Wishing you loads of luck

amother

Wine

Wed, Apr 22 2020, 10:08 pm

Batsheva1 wrote:

I’ve heard from many people that the 3 year gap is ideal.

zohar

Wed, Apr 22 2020, 10:09 pm

My two oldest are 15 months apart. The baby was born just before the yamim tovim so we stayed at my mother for the better part of a month. In the beginning, the new baby was a novelty and since we were at my parents busy bustling house, I don't even think She realized this baby was here to stay, and by the time we left, she was so used to the baby already. I think it was a gradual transition before. My pediatrician gave me some excellent advice when I was heavily pregnant and I came in with my first for a check-up. He told me, if both kids are crying and need your attention, first attend to the older child. She's the one with a more developed memory and the baby won't suffer if he cries for a few minutes while you take care of the toddler. It was such helpful advice for a sleep deprived overwhelmed mom.

amother

Slategray

Wed, Apr 22 2020, 10:19 pm

amother [ Wine ] wrote:

I’ve heard from many people that the 3 year gap is ideal.

I very much think it has with childs nature. My daughter was 4 when I had a baby, no jealousy whatsoever. She was in love right away, omg, I recall...... She loves babies! My older may be more mature but no patience to kids. My younger, she's now 5.5, I trust my baby with, even outside.

keym

Wed, Apr 22 2020, 10:22 pm

I have 2 18 months apart and 2 14 months apart.
The older one did act out a bit each time when the baby was born, but it wasn't massive if I was good about cuddling, rocking, babying the bigger one.
However each time, when the baby hit 6-8 months, started moving, crawling, developing a personality and getting into big siblings toys, then the jealousy hitting and pushing started.
Big one was willing to share my lap, but not the attention.

losingweight

Wed, Apr 22 2020, 10:28 pm

It's not jealousy. It's confusion. Suddenly mommy and totty aren't busy with me 100% of the time. With my kids that were close in age, I didn't give extra attention to the new baby for the first few weeks till the older baby was asleep. The new baby will be doing lots of napping hopefully so it's not difficult. After a few weeks the older child is comfortable already and the baby gets exciting. Smiles at her, coos etc. I also allow the older child to hold the baby while I'm sitting right there on the couch helping. That way no one has to go touch the little one when I'm not looking. Hatzlacha and loads of nachas watching your kids go from little babies to best friends!

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Apr 22 2020, 11:01 pm

losingweight wrote:

Exactly. I was just gonna post that at that age it's rather confusion than jealousy. Everything is suddenly changing, they might get sent to a relative for a week or so, they have no idea what's going on. It's a big adjustment.