Will this have a lasting negative impact on our teens?

amother

Sat, May 09 2020, 8:39 pm

My 14 year old son is a really great kid. He has good middos and learns well. He usually davened with a minyan before corona. The thing is, he’s loving the chilled out-ness of not having to go to minyan (he’s never complained about going before), getting up late, and of course he’s learning much less. He davens by himself every day three times a day, but he’s a typical 8th grade boy who’s half spacing out during davening. The learning is not the same over the phone. Even learning with my husband is not happening on the same level as before, because they’re learning at home as opposed to in shul. I know he’s still young, and it’s not that I mind so much that he’s having this break, I’m just concerned about the long term impact this could have. I don’t think he’ll be very happy about returning to shul when this all ends. And like I said, it’s not something he ever complained about. Is this something to worry about?

amother

cornflower

Sat, May 09 2020, 9:12 pm

I had to double check that I didn't write this! My 14yr old is the exact same. He's a super kid, loves to learn but is really enjoying doing everything on his own time.
He's already said he misses his friends but isn't looking forward to getting back to yeshivah, minyan etc...
I'm not overly concerned because he's a well behaved kid and I think as things go back to normal he'll just have to get used to it again.
But I'm happy for him that he can enjoy this break now.

amother

Ivory

Sat, May 09 2020, 10:21 pm

I think that when things go back to normal my son will go back to shul for all minyanim. I would have never been ok with him davening at home. Bh as a frum chassidish bochur he never considered it as an option.

The only aspect of this situation that I’m thrilled about is that yeshiva is closed.
I’m very happy that he doesn’t have to wake up at dawn and come home after dark. Now he learns for four hours every day and then he is free for the rest of the day. I think that going back to his grueling schedule will be even harder than it was before. He is a good kid but it will be a real struggle to go back to the way it was. (I’m actually terrified) I wasn’t happy about it at all and I’m thrilled that my kids are getting a break.

Most of the schools and yeshivas here have pretty much the same policies. I hope that they all decide to implement some changes and let them be kids.