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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

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amother

Thu, Jun 04 2020, 8:08 pm

Ill start off by saying I am a big worrier...
Dh and I both work, young family 3 kids. We own our home. We bH are able to put away savings each month after paying our bills. I work full time and would like to reduce my hours to be more present at home. However, financial stability/security is important to me. At what financial point do you think thats a smart move? How much savings?

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Jun 04 2020, 8:12 pm

If you could still pay all of your bills comfortably, if you have at least 6 months but preferably more in emergency savings equaling your monthly expenses, if your debt-to-income ratio is favorable. There are so many factors and comfort/peace of mind is subjective. But generally if you have at least 6 months but preferably a year of emergency savings is what is recommended and if it won't put too much stress on the every day financials I would do it.

amother

Thu, Jun 04 2020, 8:16 pm

We do bH a little more than 6 months of emergency money saved....would you worry about accumulating savings for marrying off kids? Increasing tuition payments as the family grows? Future investments???? Am I crazy?

amother

Wine

Thu, Jun 04 2020, 8:42 pm

I always understood that the 6 months to a year emergency fund is on top of retirement savings. A period of unemployment should not have you raiding your 401k.
Signed a fellow worrier

Fabulous

Thu, Jun 04 2020, 9:04 pm

I think that if you can easily Re-enter the job market when your kids are older (or get full time hours back) and you can manage nicely In the meantime, you should do it. Being there for your kids will benefit both you and the kids. If after a few months to a year you are getting too stressed, you can always go back

amother

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 8:35 pm

Thank you all for your thoughts! Anyone else want to weigh in?

amother

Papaya

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 8:45 pm

figure out what you are ok with. Personally I wouldn't feel like a terrible parent just because I didn't pay for my kids college tuition. My husband went to a good but local college with student loans. I would be fine with my kids doing the same I also don't feel like my kids need a fancy wedding but probably would want something saved for them... we are fairly low maintenance but I need financial security and probably to a much greater degree then many people.

I would need to feel like we had money put aside for retirement. That we have life insurance. That we have money in case of emergency. I'm definitely a "worrier" Wink

In terms of future tuition. 1. Do you expect your joint income to increase as well? 2. what percentage of the parent body where you send actually pays full. If they charge x amount so that the wealthy people will pay it but 90% or above is on tuition assistance I wouldn't feel like I need to "kill myself" to pay full. If it's not that type of situation then yes I would consider that as well. I feel a strong sense of responsibility to pay for my kids education.

full disclosure- I'm a SAHM with nice amount in savings including money set aside for each child but I would really suffer emotionally/mentally if I had to work full time. I would put my sanity now ahead of putting away money for my kids college tuition.

amother

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 8:57 pm

Thank you@papaya!
Can I ask what stage in life ur at that ur a sahm? What are the ages of your kids?

(As for tuition, as long as dh and I are working well be required to pay full and its a hugh price where I live)

So a comfy savings account is the answer? And as long as we can still pay the bills?
I just wish I knew what goal I am working towards...

amother

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 9:04 pm

Op here again,
Hate to sound naive BUT what other monthly expenses come up as the kids get older?/family grows....
Mortgage, utilities, car pretty much stays the same
Clothing, food, tuition, more copays Wink

....anything else I am missing?

mommybrr

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 9:11 pm

I don't have an answer for you- but if you are so anxious, financial therapy may be of interest to you. A friend of mine told me about this- seems interesting.
https://prospr.fit/

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 9:11 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

....anything else I am missing?

Sleepaway camp. More expensive clothing. Tuition goes up. The bigger the kids, the more money they cost.

amother

Papaya

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 9:21 pm

so my situation is "unique". I've been a stay at home wife/mother my whole marriage. Have a small family (which means less tuition...) ranging from elementary down. Got married straight out of grad school and never worked. My husband has a decent career and I have inheritance/trust money (basically my grandparents were well off and savers so they put aside money for each grandchild which helped to buy a house with a mortgage...). We live in a relatively low cost of living area and tuition isn't so crazy where we live.

I know that I feel comfortable with the amount of money I have.

I also suffer from mental health issues which work would exacerbate. It's really much better for me emotionally to be home. Having a parent home with the kids especially when they are little is something that is important to my husband regardless.

It doesn't sound like you are thinking about becoming a SAHM, that would be a much riskier proposition. You just want to cut your hours.

amother

Papaya

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 9:28 pm

another thing to consider is how much are you ok having your kids pay for themselves. some people have their kid contribute to the cost of sleepaway camp, more clothing...
I'm just trying to give you things to think about.

BetsyTacy

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 9:59 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

Sleepaway camp. More expensive clothing. Tuition goes up. The bigger the kids, the more money they cost.

Often more doctors, including for example the orthodontist.

And anything do with them driving.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Jun 18 2020, 10:26 pm

Hi,
I recently cut my hours and feel comfortable with my decision. Our situation is 4 kids school age and down. We make enough to cover the bills, contribute a little to our 401ks and save a few hundred a month. We do not pay full tuition but pay alot. I don't think I need to work myself to the bone in order to do that. We own our home but would like to purchase a larger one in a few years. We have about 20k in the bank. That makes me a little uncomfortable.

The reason I am comfortable with this is because a) I was really suffering trying to manage my job/home/children b) iyh my husband's income will continue to steadily increase c) I'm in a situation where I can pick up more work easily if I need to d) I'm ok living pretty low maintenance.

Managing work and life is a very fine balance. Good luck op.

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