Rigidity causing manipulation

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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amother

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 11:04 am

My son, who is possibly on the spectrum, definitely ADHD and anxiety...very rigid. So he gets an idea in his mind and he can't get off it. Girls are bad. So he balks at having any of my daughter's dolls near him, having her projects on the table while we eat..He refuses to eat certain foods, they need to be at a certain temp...etc..anyways the last few years he has started acting in a manipulative way, especially threatening me or others. It is often related to his rigidity (I won't eat breakfast if you don't make it a certain way) but not always. My question is if anyone has any advice.

Separate question. He is very hard to motivate. internally bec of the ADHD...and externally he only gets motivated by prizes he is pining for.

amother

Aubergine

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 11:11 am

This sounds just like my kid with pandas/pans before we started treatment. It’s wasn’t manipulation, though it sure looked like it. It was ocd. His distress was very very real, not matter how absurd and irrational it seems to us.

Addressing brain inflammation from chronic infections and gut issues will help with all of your symptoms, including the rigidity and ocd. Ditto for the adhd.

life is fun

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 11:33 am

Does he have sensory issues by any chance? that may play a role in it as well.

anonymrs

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 11:40 am

Rigidity causing manipulation is actually OCD. Please get him checked out for pandas.

amother

Azure

Tue, Aug 18 2020, 5:11 pm

I could have written this post!!
my son is the same story.
he is also super impulsive.
its really hard.
what is pandas?

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Aug 18 2020, 6:36 pm

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

I could have written this post!!
my son is the same story.
he is also super impulsive.
its really hard.
what is pandas?

pandas is an autoimmune disorder where the immune system attacks the basal ganglia in the brain instead of strep bacteria. It cause all kinds of neuropsychological disturbances, including impulsivity and ocd. Rigidity is a very common presentation of ocd in children.

amother

Blue

Tue, Aug 18 2020, 7:25 pm

Can you get him evaluated to see if he qualifies for an autistic diagnosis? As a BCBA this is something I have dealt with often, but in order to truly help your child the plan should be individualized for him. If he does have an autistic diagnosis he should qualify for ABA services to help you and your family, and especially him deal with this. If you do go this route please ask questions about the BCBA to make sure these type of issues, your son's level, etc are areas that she has experience with. A qualified BCBA should be able to set up small reasonable goals for your child to meet to help with these behaviors. Even if he isn't on the spectrum I would still recommend trying to hire a BCBA to help you set up a plan. Down side will be you wont have the extra hands around frequently enough to help you implement the goals.

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