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amother
OP
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 Wed, Nov 04 2020, 10:43 am
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If a child comes to school with a large mark. Let's say a scratch or big bruise on either her hand or face (uncovered mark) do you say something to the child out of concern if the child otherwiseseems happy and taken care of? Would it be weird if the mother didn't right a note about it? What happens if this is the second time?
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amother
Natural
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 10:45 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | If a child comes to school with a large mark. Let's say a scratch or big bruise on either her hand or face (uncovered mark) do you say something to the child out of concern if the child otherwiseseems happy and taken care of? Would it be weird if the mother didn't right a note about it? What happens if this is the second time? |
I think it would be a good idea to try to find out how the child got the mark.
My niece got a black eye from her brother (very difficult family situation) and I'm surprised that no one in her school asked her about it.
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amother
Taupe
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 10:46 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | If a child comes to school with a large mark. Let's say a scratch or big bruise on either her hand or face (uncovered mark) do you say something to the child out of concern if the child otherwiseseems happy and taken care of? Would it be weird if the mother didn't right a note about it? What happens if this is the second time? |
How old is the child? For younger kids you can ask what happened. If it happens often, talk to the principal about how to approach it and keep a vigilant eye on that kid.
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amother
Aubergine
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 10:48 am
I would never think to write a note to the teacher and it is not weird at all if the teacher asks the kid.
It could have been a sibling or play date, the child hurt themself or the neighbors pet. It is thoughtful to ask the kid in a non threatening way but I would be more concerned if the parents thought they had to explain everything-what are the hiding?
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amother
Taupe
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 10:50 am
| amother [ Aubergine ] wrote: | I would never think to write a note to the teacher and it is not weird at all if the teacher asks the kid.
It could have been a sibling or play date, the child hurt themself or the neighbors pet. It is thoughtful to ask the kid in a non threatening way but I would be more concerned if the parents thought they had to explain everything-what are the hiding? |
Parents don't need to explain everything. But if a child has a large bruise it's normal to write a note to the teacher.
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amother
Lemon
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 10:59 am
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As a parent, I usually tell the teacher if a young child gets a significant bruise. Tell or text- I don't do notes. But I do sometimes forget. I wouldn't mind if the teacher asked me.
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amother
Natural
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 11:01 am
If a teacher received note from parent about how child got bruise, would that mean they refrain from asking the child?
Sounds like a great way for a parent to cover up abuse.
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smss
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 11:05 am
I'd ask the kid. Very casually and out of hearing of the rest of the class.
Abusers typically leave marks on areas of the body that can be covered.
ETA: as a parent it wouldn't occur to me to write a note explaining a bruise/scratch for a school age child. I don't see that as a red flag at all.
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amother
Wheat
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 11:48 am
Do you not have safeguarding in schools in the US? In the UK all staff working with children are trained in safeguarding-what is abuse, what to look out for, what to do if you have a concern etc. We have a safeguarding lead in every school that deals and monitors all children we are concerned about. There are protocols and procedures in place for all different concerns and situations.
If you are asking the child, please do not ask leading questions-did mommy/daddy hit you? Please be careful about calling too much attention if you do think it is a concern. But face or hand are relatively normal areas for children to get bruises etc. You can look up a body map of unusual injuries that are areas of concern. For instance a bruise knee and down is expected of an active child, but upper leg and obviously inside of thighs is a big red flag.
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amother
Burgundy
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 12:09 pm
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As a parent I would never have thought to send a note to the teacher about a mark.
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ShishKabob
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 12:10 pm
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And here I thought that a teacher has a question about a mark on a students test! lol
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amother
Royalblue
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 12:14 pm
And keep an open mind as well!
My dd (now 23) was a big bruiser as a child- I asked the per for blood work and all was fine.
Her legs constantly had black and blue marks.
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amother
Bronze
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 12:25 pm
My kids are not abused. 2 of them bruise easily. One if them from the slightest things.
She constantly has bruises all over. It alao takes her much much longer to heal/color return to normal than it normally does. It's hard to look at when I bath her. Most of the time she has no clue how she gets it.
When her sister hit her with a children's rugged (plastic covered in rubber) camera her skin burst open. Im prettybsure another kid would just get a bruise. (Might have something to do with her oandas. Doc isn't sure everything else checked out.)
Anyway, most bruises are innocent.
Keep an open mind. And open eyes.
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amother
Vermilion
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 2:35 pm
| amother [ Bronze ] wrote: | My kids are not abused. 2 of them bruise easily. One if them from the slightest things.
She constantly has bruises all over. It alao takes her much much longer to heal/color return to normal than it normally does. It's hard to look at when I bath her. Most of the time she has no clue how she gets it.
When her sister hit her with a children's rugged (plastic covered in rubber) camera her skin burst open. Im prettybsure another kid would just get a bruise. (Might have something to do with her oandas. Doc isn't sure everything else checked out.)
Anyway, most bruises are innocent.
Keep an open mind. And open eyes. |
Just wanted to add that easily bruising can be from hemophilia. It’s only recent that doctors have discovered that girls can have hemophilia too. And it’s more common among ashkenazi Jews, but people just don’t know to get checked. I have hemophilia and it’s important to know because there’s a lot of treatments out there that can help.
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amother
Lilac
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 3:42 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | If a child comes to school with a large mark. Let's say a scratch or big bruise on either her hand or face (uncovered mark) do you say something to the child out of concern if the child otherwiseseems happy and taken care of? Would it be weird if the mother didn't right a note about it? What happens if this is the second time? |
It would never occur to me to write a note about a bruise but l a teacher could definitely ask the kid:
"oh boy that's a big bruise you have here, does it hurt? what happened? Or how did you get it?"
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zaq
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 4:14 pm
| amother [ Vermilion ] wrote: | | It’s only recent that doctors have discovered that girls can have hemophilia too. And it’s more common among ashkenazi Jews, but people just don’t know to get checked. . |
Unless by "recent" you mean "some time later than the mid 19th century" the bolded is untrue. When I was studying JHS biology in the late 1960s, we calculated the probabilities of a child being hemophiliac based on which parent was a carrier, a hemophiliac, or neither. If this was in textbooks in the late 1960s, it was already well-known and not news.
Hemophilia A and B are s-e-x-linked traits carried on the X chromosome. Males have only one X, so if they have the gene they have the disease. Females, having two X chromosomes, need two genes, one on each X chromosome, to have the disease. If they have only one, they are carriers.
To have full hemophilia A or B, a woman must have at least a hemophiliac father and a carrier mother; there is a 50% chance that any daughter of such a couple will have hemophilia. Such a combination is uncommon and female hemophiliacs are rare, but not unheard of. From the CDC: "More than 2,700 women with hemophilia A or B are entered in Community Counts' Hemophilia Treatment Center Population Profile, a public health monitoring program that gathers information about people with bleeding disorders who are cared for in HTCs in the United States."
A third form of hemophilia is hemophilia C, which is not s-e-x-linked and therefore affects males and females equally. This is the form that is more frequent among Ashkenazi Jews. It was first identified in the 1950s and involves a different clotting factor from hemophilias A and B.
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amother
Seafoam
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 4:43 pm
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It would never occur to me to send a note to a teacher. That seems defensive. Maybe if it was a preschooler and I was dropping off that day (a big maybe), I would say something to the teacher. And yes, kids do get hurt.
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amother
Vermilion
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 4:49 pm
| zaq wrote: | Unless by "recent" you mean "some time later than the mid 19th century" the bolded is untrue. When I was studying JHS biology in the late 1960s, we calculated the probabilities of a child being hemophiliac based on which parent was a carrier, a hemophiliac, or neither. If this was in textbooks in the late 1960s, it was already well-known and not news.
Hemophilia A and B are s-e-x-linked traits carried on the X chromosome. Males have only one X, so if they have the gene they have the disease. Females, having two X chromosomes, need two genes, one on each X chromosome, to have the disease. If they have only one, they are carriers.
To have full hemophilia A or B, a woman must have at least a hemophiliac father and a carrier mother; there is a 50% chance that any daughter of such a couple will have hemophilia. Such a combination is uncommon and female hemophiliacs are rare, but not unheard of. From the CDC: "More than 2,700 women with hemophilia A or B are entered in Community Counts' Hemophilia Treatment Center Population Profile, a public health monitoring program that gathers information about people with bleeding disorders who are cared for in HTCs in the United States."
A third form of hemophilia is hemophilia C, which is not s-e-x-linked and therefore affects males and females equally. This is the form that is more frequent among Ashkenazi Jews. It was first identified in the 1950s and involves a different clotting factor from hemophilias A and B. |
I have hemophilia A and C. The hemophilia A in my family is only from my mother’s side. This possibility they discovered in the past 10 years. You are correct that hemophilia C is the one that is common among ashkenazis.
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amother
Blue
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Wed, Nov 04 2020, 5:03 pm
I was told by the administration that if a child comes to school with a significant bruise or other wound to contact the parents immediately.
You don’t want the parents to come back and say it happened in school on your watch.
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