What's Better? Oldest in Class or Youngest in Class?

Newsie

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 2:13 am

I have to register dd for gan and I am not sure if I should send her or not. I have the option of keeping her in daycare another year or starting gan. She was born right at the cutoff date, so she could go either way. Either she'll start gan next year and be the youngest in the class, or she could stay in daycare and be with "babies" and be the oldest. Not sure what to do...

grin

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 2:24 am

I had the same sit with my youngest. The real conflict came over continuing in gan or starting kita aleph.
At this stage of the game, I would send her up to gan. That way the more critical decision could go either way, depending on her social skills/intelligence/motor skills then.
You can also discuss this with her metapelet.

Newsie

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 2:57 am

I am concerned to discuss it with the metapelet because I feel she is probably nogeiah bidavar and may want me to hold her back. rg- I didn't even realize I would have to stress about this again when it's time for kitah alef! B"H it's for good things.

mimivan

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 3:07 am

It really depends on her and on the gan!
Check out each place and see which you like better...also the morah.
Also it depends on her maturity level and how far advanced she is in behavior, concepts etc..

grin

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 3:07 am

if it's of any help to you, an informal survey of my own kids was that on the whole they enjoyed being the younger ones in class. (They also tend to be bright.)
Has she developed skills above or below the avg age?

frayda

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 4:07 am

I had the same issue with my son. His birthday is also a couple weeks before the cutoff date. I was also worried about him being one of the youngest in his class. I chose to send him to Gan this year, rather than leave him in daycare another year. He's learning quite well, however, he is a bit behind in some social skills. I decided that if we want to leave him back it will be before 1st grade. This way, I get to see how he's developing along with the other kids and it will help my decision. As it is now, I see no problem with letting him continue on with the rest of the kids next year.

I would suggest sending her to Gan next year, as there isn't really any reason to leave her in daycare. She'll learn a lot more, and you always have the option of keeping her back in the next few years if you feel she needs it.

maidale

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 4:21 am

I guess it depends on each individual child. At this point I'd do as most here suggested and send her to gan and if necessary keep her behind before the first grade. At this point her social skills are probably a lot more like the kids going to gan rather than the "babies" staying by the metapelet. She might get really bored in daycare another year whith the kids a lot younger than her.

amother

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 7:47 am

Being the youngest can bring many challenges too...

I was myself the youngest of my class (by far - skept a grade too) and the brightest (sorry for the lack of humility - but that's the truth), and it was not a piece of cake, socially and emotionally.

Now my son is the youngest of his class (born december) and I see how he is struggling with it, always trying to be the first, the best - as if to make up for something. Maybe it also has to do with the fact that he's second in the family and "competing" already with my firstborn daughter...

OP, I'm not sure this vent was helpful, I say give it a try but keep your eyes open. I think it's more important for a kid to have self esteen and being well adjusted in his class than to learn to read and write at a younger age.
Who will care later if he mastered those skills one year older?
OTOH, if he's bored and not stimulated enough with the younger grade, it's not good too...

Good luck with your decision!!!

PS: What I said about self esteem and emotional adjustment is probably more relevant for first grade...

Ruchel

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 7:54 am

Amother, I can relate about being bored to death... I always finished much before the others, and would daydream and the teacher would be "Ruchel?? still daydreaming??", and not believe I had finished until she saw it was always true, and told the director I needed to skip a grade. The problem was still there, finished before and bored to death, but it was less drastic. Still, until I became pregnant during my 5th year of university, I was always bored because I was too quick. I became much slower during pregnancy, and finished only 10/15 minutes before the others, but now it's coming back and the boredom too.

I believe it is genetic. My parents and at least 2 of my grandparents remember having the same thing.

amother

Thu, Feb 07 2008, 12:50 pm

my daughter will start pre-nursery next year iyh. the thing is, she will be the oldest in her class because she just misses the deadline. she is very tall for her age. so she going to be the oldest and the tallest!!! do you think I should send her to nursery next year (if they let), instead? I think she'd do fine socially and she knows a lot I think. what should I do???

gigi

Thu, Feb 07 2008, 1:01 pm

you have to do what is best for your kid.
each child is an individual.

I was the oldest in my class.
my mother was going to put me in the older grade (1rst grade)
but when I came to look at the room, I said.."where are all the toys?"

so knowing me, she decided I would be better off with another year of playing. (in kindergarten)
I was always one of the oldest in my class, and I loved it.

amother

Thu, Feb 07 2008, 1:15 pm

I think if it was aboy leave as the oldest, not this year but next. Boys need more sports which takes more mature coordination. A girl could go either way. We were in the same quandry with dd. So we pushed off the decision each year until it was time for first grade.The school we chose has each child evaluated, & our instincts were confirmed by the psychologist, move her up to first grade.But it would have been fine if he had siad hold her back. She starting in new school anyway.

greenfire

Thu, Feb 07 2008, 1:44 pm

hey gigi - you think like me ... Wink

so definately more to do with the particular kid and not height or age ...

what are her capabilities ... learning needs ... once she goes into a class it is not that easy to take her away from made friends ...