I SAID good night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bigdeal

Sun, Feb 10 2008, 10:37 am

ANy advice at all would be helpful

My almost four year old ( only hild)is an angel- great kid, listens to me- adorable!!

lately, she has been giving me a lot of trouble come bedtime. After a bath, supper, playtime-I say shema, tuck her in, and tell her a story- the PARTY begins.

she comes out every ten minutes wanting a drink, another hug, shes hungry, you name it.....

Finally- shes asleep BUT at around one, she wakes up and wants to sleep in my bed, another drink, one more story, etc...... She does this at one, two, three- UNTIL I say, " NOw, the mean Mommy is here because you did not listen to NICE Mommy- I pick her up - put her in bed at that point no more Mrs Nicey- and I shut the door tight- she cries but ends up going to sleep

First of all , I feel horrible- I dont want her to go to bed hating me.
Second of all, this is recent- like three weeks - could it be theres a bigger issue???
Third- Im concerned shes not getting enough sleep.
Am I nuts ? is this is a phase???help!!!!!

su7kids

Sun, Feb 10 2008, 11:58 am

I once shared a wonderful idea that a friend of mine had, and it worked for us.

Give her 5 things to take to bed. Any five things of her choice, be it a book, a toy, anything she wants. Even a tape with music (calming) or a story tape

As long as she stays in bed, the light can even stay on, and she falls asleep when she's ready. She keeps all five things as long as she stays in bed.

The minute she gets up, one thing gets taken away. Until she has none of them left, and then the 6th thing is the light goes off.

Maybe the first night she will go to all 6, but she'll quickly want to keep all things and then she can play a bit and then fall asleep when she's ready.

It could also be that she's afraid of the dark, you could leave a hall light on, or a bathroom light.

Hug her, kiss her, tell her she's safe, and that she is NOT to come to your room. Hug her again, kiss her again and tell her NO coming to Mommy and Daddy's room.

Hug her lots more during the day, kiss her lots more and remind her she's safe. Shema makes her safe, and the mezuzah makes her safe.

Make sure no curtains are waving in a breeze, etc. to cause scary shadows.

Maybe she doesn't like the quiet. If she gets up at 1 a.m., let her have access to her little tape recorder to play the story or the music again.

MahPitom

Sun, Feb 10 2008, 12:33 pm

We call it the Pippi parade. I am very strict, dh is extremely lenient. Once we agreed on being strict together, the kids saw that there was no monkey business, it finally kicked in. Firstly, the rule is ‘bedtime’ not ‘sleeping’. When it’s bedtime, they must be in bed, period. Can’t sleep? No problem, don’t sleep. Lay in bed. That’s’ the rule.

Number 2, if you forget that your stomach hurts, you need a drink, you need the bathroom, it will have to wait for tomorrow. Nobody ever peed in bed because I didn’t let them go one more time. I tell them ’if you need to make in your bed, I hope it doesn’t happen, but I will take care of it in the morning’. It never happened. Basically, bedtime is bedtime, under no circumstances. Can you stick this out for 1 week?

happymom

Sun, Feb 10 2008, 1:08 pm

first, I think its good to help our kids with whatever it is, and not have the attitude of wanting our kids to like us, or that we are being a "mean" or "nice" mommy. we should always have our kids best interest in mind, and when we do that, we are being good mommies, and helping our kids. (they can understand that attitude...)

she is probably going throguh a stage. she may be having scary dreams, or started being scared of the dark... just have a rule that she stays in her bed... and she can call you if she needs something but cannot come out. buy her a really nice lava lamp or something to look at and help her fall asleep. you can also put a cd player in her room and buy her some new story tapes that she can listen to that can help her fall asleep.

make a chart together with you (she can decorate it) have some prizes (she can help pick them out) and tell her the rules, and how to get to the prizes part... show her the story tapes she can listen to in her bed, and the lamo she can look at if she is scared of the dark, and have a sippy cup of water next to her bed if she is thirsty. as far as hungry, I have a rule we can have one fruit if we are hungry at night (assuming the kid isnt hungry because they ate dinner... if there is an exception and they really are starving thats different) have the fruit, or snack with her by the table, BEFORE she brushes her teeth and remind her that this snack is to help so she wont be hungry in her bed. (if she tells you later shes hungry you can just reassuer her by saying something like "Im sorry your hungry sweetie, tommorrow we can have a bigger snack before bed, so you wont be hungry...) every time she follows a rule (stays in bed, and calls you if needed, but doesnt come out, and eats her snack BEFORE bed, and not AFTER going to bed...) she can have a sticker on her chart... and after five nights or whatever u decide, she can choose a prize....

this is my suggestions of what I would do....

happymom

Sun, Feb 10 2008, 1:10 pm

Quote:

Number 2, if you forget that your stomach hurts, you need a drink, you need the bathroom, it will have to wait for tomorrow. Nobody ever peed in bed because I didn’t let them go one more time. I tell them ’if you need to make in your bed, I hope it doesn’t happen, but I will take care of it in the morning’. It never happened. Basically, bedtime is bedtime, under no circumstances. Can you stick this out for 1 week?

I see where you are coming from, but I dont agree with this. children are people do, and yes it can get out of hand, but if they need the bathroom, or say thier stomach hurts, that shouldnt be ignored. yes there is a diff bet a game and when its real but even if it is a game, if a child says thier stocmahc hurts it shouldnt be "no it doesnt get to bed" but something more like "oh im so sorry, I hope it feels better, now its time for bed, heres a kiss I hope u feel better..." we should never minimize what our kids tell us! even if we think they dont mean it. many times they DO mean it...