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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
OP
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Fri, Feb 12 2021, 5:44 am
DS got his learners permit, and now I need to teach him to drive. He'll have a few hours with an instructor, but obviously that's not enough. I'm terrified by this! He's not a particularly reckless or irresponsible kid, so it's more just the concept of inexperienced teen, immature teen brain, vehicle that can kill somebody. Any advice on good ways to teach him?
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Frumme
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Fri, Feb 12 2021, 5:49 am
My honest opinion, get more hours with the driving instructor. It might cost you more but you'll save in sanity and shalom with your DS.
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amother
Saddlebrown
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Fri, Feb 12 2021, 5:54 am
Frumme wrote: | My honest opinion, get more hours with the driving instructor. It might cost you more but you'll save in sanity and shalom with your DS. |
Agreed. Also, daven. Your emunah will grow.
My trick is to find an empty parking lot and do the first bunch of driving sessions there. Often, an office building on a Sunday works. Also, narrate as you drive with him in the passenger seat. Tell him why you do things and how and when you make quick decisions. Ask him to be the one to tell you when it's safe to cross and intersection or make a turn.
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amother
Violet
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Fri, Feb 12 2021, 5:56 am
Private roads. Parking lots.
Say Tehillem and try and make your child feel like you trust him even if you don’t. Don’t freak out! That won’t end lol.
Driving is not a hard. Most people have driven in their lifetime. Disabled people drive. Children have driven. If he gets lessons then he knows how. He just needs practice learning how to feel out a car and make it more smooth with accelerating and breaking.
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amother
Ivory
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Fri, Feb 12 2021, 5:56 am
My dad was the one who mostly taught me. He just had me drive to and from places that we were already planning to go. He made sure I drove on residential roads, smaller highway-type roads, and interstates. I put in a lot of driving time with my permit because of this.
I do think it's very different if you live in a very dense city like New York City with very busy traffic and aggressive drivers. I grew up in a suburb, so I got to ease in with low traffic and friendly drivers. Ignore my post if you live in a very challenging driving environment.
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amother
Burlywood
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Fri, Feb 12 2021, 6:25 am
We have 3 kids with licenses. The 4th will be starting this summer. The thought of your child being behind the wheel is actually worse than them driving. Most kids want to be safe drivers! As others have said, a few hours in a large EMPTY parking lot (like a public school on a Sunday) are great practice before venturing into streets where there are other vehicles, so that he can get really comfortable with the feel of being behind the wheel, how long it takes to brake, how hard to press on the accelerator, how to turn safely, etc. These should be done during the day since nighttime driving is a whole different skill set. If your son is on a yeshiva schedule, you may need to wait until an off Shabbos.
If he is starting out with the driving instructor you may not need to go over the basics, like training him to check mirrors, lights, seat belts, etc. right when you get in the car, but those are always good to reinforce so that they become a habit. We actually chose to leave the 6 hours with the driving instructor towards the end of their practice time so that the instructor can work on parking tricks and help them prepare for the test. Most of the practice driving, after we were ready to move outside the parkign lot, was to places we needed to go to anyway - dropping off younger siblings, running errands, etc., although that is harder with boys than girls. My teenage son did not have the time or desire to tag along shopping in order get in a few minutes of driving, but we made it work.
He will be fine. Take deep breaths!!
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Chayalle
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Fri, Feb 12 2021, 7:09 am
I didn't get in the car with my DD's till they had a few hours with an instructor. I think there was a 6-session package we went for.
After the first few lessons, I would go out to a local blue claws stadium at night when it was totally empty. I'd have them drive up and down, and I let them know if they just crashed into a few cars (empty parking spaces). I'd have them pretend there were cars there. They practiced turning around, and various maneuvers etc....
Stay calm. and Pray. That's the best advice I can give you!
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amother
Rose
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Fri, Feb 12 2021, 10:41 am
My father tried teaching me to drive. A couple months in, my mother couldn't handle my tears anymore and hired an instructor. It was traumatic for me to learn with my father and I still have driving anxiety from him. So if you feel like you can't remain calm, don't do it, it's not worth it.
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