Hate my job | Imamother

Goldie613

Tue, Mar 23 2021, 1:39 pm

amother [ Ginger ] wrote:

OP I'm in the same boat. I'm a speech therapist in a Jewish school and I hate it with a passion.

But I hate my actual workday. It is tortuous going through session after session, and I am bored to tears. There are mornings that I literally have a tantrum that I cannot go to work. Then I come home and have realms and realms of paperwork and have to spend hours on the phone talking to parents.

This is totally the wrong field for me but I can't afford to go back to school.

Two separate things -

1 - is your issue with speech therapy as a field or with working with kids? Maybe working with adults (think the elderly or people with medical/developmental issues) would work better for you.

2 - in terms of the cost of going back to school, I don't know where you live, but in the U.S. Fafsa helps pay tuition and you can often get more off than you realize as an adult because having dependents counts in your favor. And you may not need a ton of school - certification in something or a training course may be enough. Worst case - student loans. Worst worst case - save for a few years and then go to school while working and THEN be able to switch jobs.

What would you like to do?

nechamashifra

Tue, Mar 23 2021, 1:57 pm

amother [ Ginger ] wrote:

OP I'm in the same boat. I'm a speech therapist in a Jewish school and I hate it with a passion.I drew the line at working in public school, because the literally the only redeeming factor of my job is that I have a nice social life at work with the other therapists. Also I need the flexibility (I have a medical condition that requires Dr appointments every so often, and I need the peace of mind that I can take off whenever I want)

But I hate my actual workday. It is tortuous going through session after session, and I am bored to tears. There are mornings that I literally have a tantrum that I cannot go to work. Then I come home and have realms and realms of paperwork and have to spend hours on the phone talking to parents.

This is totally the wrong field for me but I can't afford to go back to school. When I finished seminary my parents pressured me to start college asap and get a degree in one of the therapies "because it pays sooooo much and is sooo good for a Jewish mommy." I never even thought of exploring my interests, skills or strengths. It was all about getting the degree as fast as possible. I am an introverted, organized, detail oriented person with strong math skills. Speech therapy requires being extroverted and creative which I am not.

I am not even 30 yet and I literally panic at the thought of doing this for another few decades.

Whatever sorry for the long post and didn't mean to hijack this thread...it was actually cathartic to write this all out

If you find it tortuous going through your sessions and you're bored to tears, I think it's your duty to quit - not only for your sake but for the sake of your students.

amother

Tue, Mar 23 2021, 2:12 pm

amother [ Ginger ] wrote:

Omg you sound so similar to me!! It’s not my strength or passion at all! My parents also pushed me to go straight to graduate school and get a masters as quickly as possible and while I’m thankful I have it, this therapy is not my passion or strength at all! I’m also an introvert! I hate talking at meetings. I hate defending my therapy decisions because I don’t really have such strong opinions either way! We should email each other to vent.

icedcoffee

Tue, Mar 23 2021, 3:07 pm

So interesting! I am a DOE teacher and always wondered if I should have gone for speech therapy instead - I always heard from others that speech therapy or OT or PT was the way to go.

I wouldn't say I dislike my job, but I agree that working with students requires a certain extroversion that doesn't come naturally to me. When I'm in the building I feel like I'm putting on an act and it's exhausting. Most teachers do that to an extent, but still, I definitely enjoy when the final bell rings and I can just go home. I can't relate to the teachers that post about how they "miss their students soooo much!" over breaks. I mean, my students can be great, but I see it as a job. It isn't my life passion, and I do it for the salary, but that's okay - I always get rated highly effective, I have a good rapport with the students, and I just don't feel guilty about wanting to be done when the day is done.

I also feel the sense of "golden handcuffs" that come with working in the DOE. BH I have a great salary, benefits, and retirement, I end the day at 2:30, there are so many breaks throughout the year. I'm not sure if you are DOE or something else but have you thought about transitioning to a different job in the same organization? Personally, even just switching schools was a lifesaver. I was so unbelievably miserable at my first school in the Bronx but thank God I stuck it out and switched because now my new school is one million times better. And I'm content with teaching now, but I have thought ahead to one day when I'm burned out and I can look at other options, whether that's being an AP or even getting my sped license. Then I won't feel stressed about losing the benefits, but it'll be a different set of tasks and responsibilities.

amother

Blush

Tue, Mar 23 2021, 5:11 pm

Goldie613 wrote:

Fafsa gives student loans. At a high interest rate. School costs A TON. Not a very reasonable option.

icedcoffee

Tue, Mar 23 2021, 5:39 pm

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

I'm so sad reading this thread. We have children with genuine problems, and we rely on you to help them. The therapists I've hired are bright and energetic, and excited about trying new things, and always have a new idea they were thinking of.

At the beginning of this thread, I wanted to help OP feel the benefits of her job.

I changed my mind, I wish all of you who hate it so much would just quit as soon as possible. Please, just go. We don't deserve people who hate our kids so much and are "bored to tears".

This is so wrong.

First of all, you can be bored and do a great job. No one said they were sitting there ignoring the child and watching Netflix on their phone - people are professionals and can pull it together to do their job, and do it well. I'm sure even your energetic, excited therapists have had bad days when they plaster on a smile and make your child feel like they're the only thing on their mind, and deliver a great session.

Secondly, bright and energetic does not necessarily make a good therapist. I had a co-teacher who was the most bubbly, vivacious lady you could imagine. She loved the students, they loved her, wonderful. But she was not a good teacher. She wasn't good at actually delivering content, breaking things down in understandable chunks, or differentiating for different types of learners. If you put her next to someone with a low-key attitude, you might immediately agree she is the better option because she is so "bright and energetic," but the outcomes speak for themselves. And you have no idea about the outcomes of the children these ladies work with.

Lastly, it's only ever people who work with children/students who get this unfair pressure that they must always love their jobs and martyr themselves. It goes along with the taboo that you can't say you work with kids for the money. I challenge you to find a single person who said they hate kids. They said sometimes the job is tedious, exhausting, and not their passion. That's completely fine. People are human. And I guarantee your therapists have had days when they get home, collapse into bed, and say "there's no way I can do this again tomorrow." But they do, because they're professionals.

amother

Pink

Tue, Mar 23 2021, 6:54 pm

amother [ Black ] wrote:

Have you ever considered getting a job at one of the online charter schools that are so popular now in the public school realm? I work as a behavioral therapist for an online charter school and have for the last 5 years so this is not a Covid thing. I am an LCSW. While yes the paper work is the same as the public school system so that is still a massive pain and you have to learn to create an entire curriculum for online education (although you may have done that in the last year) you get to work from home and sort of set your own hours. Meaning during the chaggim I just schedule all my student calls on other days so I take off less work. There are things you have to do in person like the state testing twice a year but mostly you are home and don't have to deal with classroom management as much. Not perfect but definitely less stress then a bricks and mortar public school set up.

This sounds so interesting. I’d love to hear more about this. I just graduated as a Bcba.

amother

Ginger

Tue, Mar 23 2021, 7:22 pm

icedcoffee wrote:

Thank you iced coffee! You said it beautifully

Everyone can relax. I do not hate the children. I am quite skilled at the job, and the school and parents are happy with me. They would actually be shocked if they knew how much I hate the job. I once confided in a colleague at work, and she literally did not believe me. I have a wonderful rapport with my students, we make progress, and most parents want me to continue with their children year after year. So I guess that means I am doing something right.

And I agree about the energetic teachers. While this is obviously not true of all them, many of the bubbly, exciting teachers also have a personality that is more disorganized, unstructured and not as meticulous. Many of my learning disabled students struggle with these teachers. The teachers are all over the place, they don't give instructions clearly, and they don't repeat things as necessary. My students actually appreciate that our sessions are calm, low key, organized and quiet. I have had older students (middle school, high school) tell me that they did not like the therapists who were the loud, fun, head counselor type.

The problem is that this is all very draining for me. I have to work so hard to be on top of my game at work that I come home with zero mental, emotional or physical energy left for my kids.

amother

Ginger

Tue, Mar 23 2021, 7:26 pm

Goldie613 wrote:

1-the issue is the field. Its totally wrong for me. I cannot handle anything medical. In grad school we had to do an observation in a nursing home and I almost passed out from the sights and smells. The only population I can tolerate is school children

2- I already got FAFSA when I went to college so I doubt I could get it again. And I'm still paying off student loans for this degree so I don't think it would be wise to put myself more in debt. I also don't have the "headspace" for school at this point. I feel like having kids "fried my brain." I can't imagine attending classes, studying, writing papers. I just don't have that mental focus anymore

amother

Ginger

Tue, Mar 23 2021, 7:36 pm

amother [ Maroon ] wrote:

A job that is easy, stress-free, and/or very well paid.

Omg that definitely does not describe being a speech therapist. Let me give you a small synopsis of my day:

I do approx 10-12 sessions back to back. No breaks. So I'm running around the school a whole day without a minute to eat, drink or use the bathroom. I come home hot, tired, starving and thirty.

Then I need to spend evening, and weekends, including Friday afternoons, Saturday nights and Sundays, preparing for my sessions. While the prep does get slightly easier over the years, it still takes up alot of time. I find that I really need to prepare and think about my sessions in advance or it just doesn't work. I can't do therapy on the fly.

I also a have a ton of paperwork including session notes, quarterly reports, and annual progress reports. Plus alot of stupid "clicking boxes" type of paperwork that is typical of government jobs. No matter how much I accomplish there is always more paperwork to do. I also am required to be in contact with the parents often. I have 25 students on my caseload, so that is alot of hours on the phone.

And it is NOT well paid at all!!!!! Most therapists are very disappointed when they start working. We were told we would make SO much when in reality the rates are quite low. Also we don't get paid for chagim, vacations, student absences etc. So when it comes down to it my annual salary is pathetic, especially for a masters level job

amother

Tue, Mar 23 2021, 7:42 pm

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

Please work on bettering yourself before throwing out such condescending words to people who are genuinely struggling. You have no right to judge anyone until you’ve been in their shoes.