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Forum
-> The Social Scene
amother
OP
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Fri, Jun 04 2021, 9:01 am
The other thread got me thinking .
I just had a miscarriage, how do you respond to people wishing you b'shaa tova or asking when you're due?
Also what if you're not pregnant at all just gained weight?
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amother
Puce
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Fri, Jun 04 2021, 9:05 am
Hugs...I've had a couple of miscarriages myself...
for the b'shaa tova, if it's not someone I know I don't think I would say anything.
For the people I know, maybe something like "had a mis"
For not pregnant at all, "do you know something I don't ?
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imaima
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Fri, Jun 04 2021, 10:44 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | The other thread got me thinking .
I just had a miscarriage, how do you respond to people wishing you b'shaa tova or asking when you're due?
Also what if you're not pregnant at all just gained weight? |
You stare them in the face if you are me. And they figure out something is wrong.
If you are a nice polite person, you say thank you, it is a mistake.
Sorry you have to go through that. I was asked of I was pregnant literally at the moment when I was going to the hospital to take care of a mis.
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amother
Jade
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Fri, Jun 04 2021, 10:59 am
I literally cannot comprehend how someone can ask someone if they’re pregnant without having been told explicitly. Like I don’t care if they look 9+ months pregnant. Please, if you’re one of those people who do that, can you enlighten us? I truly would love to hear what goes through your head.
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amother
Azure
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Fri, Jun 04 2021, 11:06 am
Or given a bracha for shalom bayis and having children easily when you just got divorced and nobody knows
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amother
Dodgerblue
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Fri, Jun 04 2021, 11:15 am
The ONLY person that is entitled to ask if I’m pregnant is the X-ray technician!!
Gosh what is wrong with people.
And if I didn’t specifically tell you that I’m pregnant and start talking about my pregnancy? Sh@t up!
Unless you don’t mind being put in an awkward situation.
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amother
Papaya
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Fri, Jun 04 2021, 11:29 am
Some people think it's a game, like, guess the pregnant lady. Shows they're so smart. Or when you do tell, they announce, oh I could tell months ago. For goodness' sake, just say Besha'a Tova, I hope you are feeling well.
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Iymnok
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Fri, Jun 04 2021, 11:35 am
For a mis- Too late.
For fat- yes I hope to lose it b’shaa tova.
I don’t suggest using these.
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amother
Powderblue
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Fri, Jun 04 2021, 11:50 am
For having gained weight I reply, Oh I'm just fat, haha. Usually they blush. Gosh, there's only such a small circle of people who I'd ask if they're especting.
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MrsDash
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Fri, Jun 04 2021, 11:53 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | The other thread got me thinking .
I just had a miscarriage, how do you respond to people wishing you b'shaa tova or asking when you're due?
Also what if you're not pregnant at all just gained weight? |
Say, "I'm just fat. How about yourself?"
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amother
Aqua
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Fri, Jun 04 2021, 11:57 am
Im so sorry
I started a thread a while ago about an acquaintance who would ask me non stop for my due date before I told her I was preg. and even after I missed.
its very hard but I try my best to be grateful that Im still of the one percent people with a sliver of common sense
hugs and best wishes for the future
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amother
Bronze
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Fri, Jun 04 2021, 12:02 pm
When I see someone who is very obviously pregnant, I just tell them to feel good when we leave. I feel like it’s almost rude not to acknowledge anything but I wouldn’t ask someone when they’re due unless they told me that they’re pregnant.
How bad is this? 🙈
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amother
Pumpkin
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Fri, Jun 04 2021, 12:09 pm
I have had late term losses and the first 2, I had told people I was pregnant. (I’ve gotten smarter but no more successful since). While it stings like h-ll, it’s not their fault. It just exemplifies the nimshal of the person who wants to take back and do tshuva for LH and the rabbi tells them to open a pillow in the park and then collect all the feathers.
I just kind of look off into space or at the ground trying not to cry shaking my head. Or saying I guess bad news doesn’t always travel that fast.
They feel stupid and I try to tell them not too, but it is hard. It just stinks.
If it is just fat, I tell them something like B”H, the cookies, ice cream and I are all doing well. We get along great, maybe too well. I wish I had your willpower.
At this point, I am old and it’s just me and my fibroids looking lovely. But I am past the age of anyone thinking anything.
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amother
Sienna
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Fri, Jun 04 2021, 3:22 pm
In so sorry amother pumpkin. That’s terribly painful.
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