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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
OP
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 7:49 pm
We stayed by my in laws Shabbos and shbs morning my baby sleeping with us woke up very early. Through the noise machine we somehow both did not wake up from his screaming and my mil did. She waited 20 minutes and we still did not wake up so she panicked and thought we were both poisoned from the air or something and she just walked in and got the baby herself. My husband woke up as soon as she was coming in and freaked out. He checked that I was fully covered and I was but my hair was uncovered!
I sort of understand that she panicked but how did she feel comfortable to just barge in why didnt she first bang on the door or something??
Im so mortified first that my hair was uncovered, also that I could have been uncovered on other parts of my body and also who knows I could have been in bed with my husband and we both fell asleep...
I cant get over it. The next night we made sure to lock our door.
I guess this is just a vent but thoughts?
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amother
Apple
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 7:54 pm
She should have knocked loud to wake you.
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amother
Violet
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 7:56 pm
she was worried about the baby. im sure she didnt pick up the baby and gawk at you in bed.
im yeshivish and cover my hair infront of my parents, but if my baby was screaming or crying for 20 mins and my mother walked in to get the baby I would understand...
she isnt thinking about it anymore dw.
ETA: as a new mom and very sleep deprived I also did not hear my baby crying. my brother came in after 20 mins bc he was worried and took the baby out. I didnt make a big deal about being in pjs. I was more embarassed that I let my baby cry for 20 mins.
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amother
Peachpuff
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 7:58 pm
20 minutes is a long time for a baby to be crying.
She was probably panicking and didn't think clearly enough to knock.
Also, if the two of you were sleeping so deeply you didn't hear a screaming baby in the same room, maybe she did actually knock and you didn't hear/respond so she really panicked and opened the door without waiting any longer.
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amother
Violet
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:00 pm
also, you didnt wake up of 20 mins crying. why do you think you would have been woken up from her knocking?
dont be holier than the pope. babys safety is more impt.
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Sewsew_mom
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:04 pm
Your hair? That's what your worried about? I doubt she took notice of it. I was thinking you were writing u were naked sleeping on your husband. Now that's something to be mortified about. I wouldn't worry. I'm sure she doesn't remember anymore..
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amother
Ecru
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:05 pm
Firstly, she should have banged loudly on the door.
Second point, why didn't you lock the door?
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hodeez
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:05 pm
I cover my hair 24/7, yet I don't see the big deal here. Yes she came in unannounced, but 1) baby was crying and 2) why wasn't the door locked??
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amother
Violet
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:05 pm
Op, are you newly married or a BT?
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amother
Violet
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:05 pm
amother [ Ecru ] wrote: | Firstly, she should have banged loudly on the door.
Second point, why didn't you lock the door? |
I never lock my door at night.
Grew up not doing it either... maybe OP is the same
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simcha2
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:07 pm
Honestly leaving a baby crying so long is the mortifying part.
You should be thanking you mil for being concerned and helping with the baby.
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amother
Topaz
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:07 pm
amother [ Violet ] wrote: | Op, are you newly married or a BT? |
I would be very upset if this happened to me too. And I'm neither of those.
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amother
Bluebell
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:08 pm
Your MIL seeing your hair isn't that bad. I thought you were going to say your FIL. That one's happened to me a couple of times. My MIL and I have seen each other's hair numerous times on purpose.
And like other said, it's a long time for a baby to scream...I get what you say about how you could have been more uncovered, I've learned by many trials not to be that way at my in-laws. For different reasons. Mostly little kids wanting to help with the baby. In theory I want my room to be 100% private but in practice, things are a little different now.
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amother
Topaz
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:08 pm
hodeez wrote: | 2) why wasn't the door locked?? |
I don't know about OP, but I have young kids and could never leave my door locked for the night, they sometimes wake up and come to our room.
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causemommysaid
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:10 pm
I think you should resent her forever for this. How dare she worry about her grandchild? What a meddling obnoxious MIL.
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amother
Violet
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:11 pm
amother [ Topaz ] wrote: | I would be very upset if this happened to me too. And I'm neither of those. |
sorry, thats off
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amother
Bluebell
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:13 pm
When I had my first newborn, my MIL came to help. When my baby started crying, she barged into our room and gave the baby to me. I was too exhausted to be awoken by the crying.
I was grateful that she did this and I understood completely. I didn't care that she saw my hair and my pajamas (was just wearing a T-shirt).
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amother
Topaz
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:13 pm
amother [ Violet ] wrote: | sorry, thats off |
It's off to be bothered if someone barges in to your room while you're in bed?
Okay.
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amother
Clover
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:15 pm
amother [ Topaz ] wrote: | It's off to be bothered if someone barges in to your room while you're in bed?
Okay. |
After a baby was yelling for 20 min with no reaction from the parents?! I’d be nervous too!
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causemommysaid
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Mon, Jul 05 2021, 8:15 pm
amother [ Topaz ] wrote: | It's off to be bothered if someone barges in to your room while you're in bed?
Okay. |
It's off to sleep through a baby crying for 20 minutes and then get mad when someone cares.
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