I’m beyond mortified

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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

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amother

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 3:50 pm

I filled up my cart with groceries in the supermarket. Went to check out and when I swiped my card it declined. My husband recently decided that we are not using credit cards anymore so I had no backup. Everything had already been bagged and I had to tell the cashier the I couldn’t take any of it Sad

I feel like crying I can’t deal. We are not poor by any means I feel like I reached a new low.

amother

Raspberry

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 3:51 pm

How does your husband expect you to pay for groceries?

BH Yom Yom

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 3:51 pm

That’s so upsetting and humiliating! I’m so sorry you went through that.

A lot of places where I live are no longer accepting cash or checks, and are only taking credit cards.

amother

Gladiolus

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 3:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

I feel like crying I can’t deal. We are not poor by any means I feel like I reached a new low.

OP, do you have a debit card?

amother

Mimosa

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 3:55 pm

BH Yom Yom wrote:

That’s so upsetting and humiliating! I’m so sorry you went through that.

A lot of places where I live are no longer accepting cash or checks, and are only taking credit cards.

They take debit, which many people who don't use credit cards prefer.

Amarante

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 3:58 pm

Why is your husband making unilateral decisions regarding household finances.

Using a credit card for household expenses is a joint decision between spouses.

And cutting off credit without informing and discussing borders on financial abuse.

If husband had issues regarding the amount spent on food (or other normal household expenses) he should have discussed with wife and they both would have come up with a reasonable budget AND the wife (or food shopper) would have been given the means to pay for food - either cash (literally) or enough in the checking account/debit card account to cover the amount agreed upon

amother

Blonde

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 4:00 pm

BH Yom Yom wrote:

That’s so upsetting and humiliating! I’m so sorry you went through that.

A lot of places where I live are no longer accepting cash or checks, and are only taking credit cards.

I never heard of a place not taking cash!. Some places don't take checks because they probably had a lot of bad experiences with bad checks - but cash?

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 4:02 pm

That’s horrible. I’d tell him he traumatized me so badly I’m not shopping again. The groceries are now his problem.

Amarante

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 4:04 pm

amother Blonde wrote:

I never heard of a place not taking cash!. Some places don't take checks because they probably had a lot of bad experiences with bad checks - but cash?

I haven't heard of grocery stores not taking cash.

However I have read (never encountered in real life) some very specialized stores that don't take cash like artisan coffee shops.

I only read about it because they are being criticized for discriminating against people who don't have credit or debit cards.

The "not taking cash" started during the pandemic when people didn't want to touch money and so a lot of places switched to touchless payment where you didn't even have to hand over your card.

There are actually reasons why a business legitimately doesn't want to accept cash as there are costs to having to handle and account for it. Someone has to make deposits at the bank. It is easier for employees to be dishonest and theoretically it makes you more vulnerable to crime.

Last edited by Amarante on Tue, Sep 12 2023, 4:19 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Buttercup

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 4:04 pm

Op that’s so hard. I had mine card declined (it got locked) I knew there was money but my phone was out of battery. Luckily they held everything for me and allowed me to use their phone

amother

Hawthorn

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 4:16 pm

OP I understand your humiliation and it should be for a kapara, but I don't think that most people would assume a declined card means you have no money. Nowadays people have so many credit cards they use for different purposes and are always transferring and switching, it's totally reasonable to assume that you simply picked up the wrong card. I have done that more than once.

With that said, I agree with Amarante and am concerned that your dh is making unilateral decisions like this.

erm

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 4:28 pm

I've had my card declined because of security. iIs not a embarrassing as you would think. It happens all the time even when the card is fine. Its frustrating having to shop all over again. Couldn't you have asked them to hold it for you until you came back for it?

Highstrung

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 4:40 pm

Is your DH allowing you to spend the cash ? I’m more worried about that part then that it declined. You mentioned reaching a new low . Is he financially controlling ?

amother

Marigold

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 5:47 pm

Ouch thats super embarrassing

amother

Olive

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 8:11 pm

Happened to me a few weeks ago and I’m still embarrassed to go back to that store Hug

amother

Mimosa

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 9:10 pm

I agree that my cards get declined because of security issues all the time.

amother

Tue, Sep 12 2023, 9:18 pm

To those concerned about my husband being controlling he’s the furthest thing from it. We had a discussion where we mutually agreed not to use our credit card anymore and he physically got rid of it. I just didn’t expect to be in this situation.

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