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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
amother
Honey
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Wed, Jul 07 2021, 6:07 pm
Zehava wrote: | I don’t pick battles. I aim to live in peace with my offspring. |
so you let your young children do whatever they want? I doubt it...
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small bean
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Wed, Jul 07 2021, 6:07 pm
Zehava wrote: | I don’t pick battles. I aim to live in peace with my offspring. |
Good for you. I'm not there yet.
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Zehava
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Wed, Jul 07 2021, 6:08 pm
amother [ Honey ] wrote: | so you let your young children do whatever they want? I doubt it... |
Did I say that honey?
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amother
Honey
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Wed, Jul 07 2021, 6:10 pm
Zehava wrote: | Did I say that honey? |
I thought you said you don't pick battles. What about bedtime, curfews, etc.
Battles don't literally mean fighting, but setting limits.
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Zehava
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Wed, Jul 07 2021, 6:18 pm
amother [ Honey ] wrote: | I thought you said you don't pick battles. What about bedtime, curfews, etc.
Battles don't literally mean fighting, but setting limits. |
None of these are battles in our home. It can all be done peacefully.
I think it says a lot when parents call these battles don’t you think?
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nchr
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Wed, Jul 07 2021, 6:23 pm
This thread has really turned into something else.
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amother
Honey
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Wed, Jul 07 2021, 6:31 pm
Zehava wrote: | None of these are battles in our home. It can all be done peacefully.
I think it says a lot when parents call these battles don’t you think? |
It's an expression, dear. None of us coined the term.
Providing guidance on how to make healthy choices can also be done quite peacefully.
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amother
Peachpuff
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Wed, Jul 07 2021, 6:39 pm
The passive aggressiveness in this thread is next level
Last edited by amother on Tue, Dec 21 2021, 6:05 am; edited 1 time in total
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dancingqueen
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Wed, Jul 07 2021, 7:11 pm
I always pack a combination of fruit and snack bag/cookie type snacks. My kids like both.
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amother
Copper
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Wed, Jul 07 2021, 7:13 pm
I used to be militant about healthy food. As my kids grew up I saw that I was doing it because I thought I could control their health. I learned to let go. Only Hashem controls out health and He gives us the seichel to decide what's "normal" for us. What a good balance is. Which dr to choose. Etc.
I was the mother that sent in healthier treats to my kids' teachers to reward my kids. I wasn't the only one so it worked fine. My kids felt special rather than deprived. Sometimes they'd choose a toy over a nosh.
I also would try to limit purim nosh. Not anymore, now I just ignore. I even started buying junky candy for shalach manos which I've never done before.
Two things I think are true: All kids are different. Making generalizations is kind of silly. My oldest doesn't like nosh except chocolate. I could send him a huge care package of nosh and he'd say "Ma, why did you send this to me? I'm not going to eat it." He's simply not a nosher and yes he is stick thin.
My second child is a meat and potatoes guy. He thinks candy is gross. Because I was militant when he was younger and he's very impressionable, I've been working for years to recenter him. To tell him it's really okay if he participates in his class party, to eat that donut and drink soda. It's helped a lot but at this point he wants protein, fruits, and veggies. He does buy himself an unhealthy danish every single day which I am proud of.
My third child taught me that he will consume as much sugar as he likes no matter what I think or do. We've had to be careful because of food allergies but he's outgrown them by now and if he thinks life is about eating an entire package of sour sticks every so often, it doesn't bother me in the least bit. He is a strong muscular healthy teen.
He told me that around 6th-7th grade, boys stop going for the colored sugar treats and have a more refined taste. Like for chocolate and nuts or good food like sushi or spicy chicken. I found this to be true with my next child as well. Who consumes more soda or Arizona than I've ever bought. It's okay. I mentally look away while I smile at him and am happy he's happy.
My next child will bring a huge bag of baby carrots or celery sticks almost every day to school because her friends all dig in. She also chews dubble bubble by the package.
My next one will cry if anyone eats candy near her and she doesn't get. We're working on that. But obviously when she says "Mommy can you buy bissli?" "Mommy can you buy ices?" I do.
And my next one doesn't take no for an answer and will eat lollipops or bamba for breakfast if I don't have blueberries. And sometimes I don't.
Kids really are all different. And as much as I try not to cringe when they eat sugar, I know they finish a fruit or vegetable platter in a blink of an eye. So it's fine. Balance. As long as they don't feel restricted and they are healthy and doing well generally.
So do I buy junky snacks? Mainly popcorn pretzels plain chips or plain corn chips fruit leathers. Once in a while junkier options or leftover shabbos treats. Maybe this is manipulative but I realized that with kids, for them to feel like its every day, it doesn't have to actually be every day. Often is enough.
Also I don't really restrict quantities much. Some of my kids will walk out with a shopping bag full of snack bags. I don't look or blink. I've never said it to them but they know from experience that I may not refill the snack cabinet right away so if they take more than one or two, that they might not have snack in a few days from now.
Or sometimes if they do ask if they can have more than one, I say yes or to bring one for a friend that might not have snack.
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fortunate123
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Wed, Jul 07 2021, 7:20 pm
I’m really surprised some mothers wrote they pack pretty healthy snacks and included potato chips in their description. I rarely let my kids eat potato chips, they are so unhealthy.
I always pack at least one fruit and one vegetable in their lunches. It’s really how you “market it” to your kids. Fruits that aren’t cut up like apples, oranges or strawberries won’t get eaten. Cutting it up and putting it in a container makes it much more appealing. Carrot sticks may not sound appealing to a kid, but pepper strips with a small container of dip definitely is.
Those mothers who were commenting on how the kids who were most restricted to healthy foods only were the most likely to have bad eating habits as adults - it doesn’t have to be either or. It really can be a mix. I allow certain treats that have some nutritional value. So they can have the chocolate lentils but in the yogurt. Ice cream, chocolate Made Good bars, anything made of corn - tortilla chips, popcorn, they even like canned corn in a container. My kids love the new maple flavoured Nature's Valley granola bars. Kids of course love cookies but mine don’t even notice if I make them with whole wheat flour and olive oil.
There really is no reason to serve your kids just junk, no matter what they are exposed to at school or camp.
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