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Forum
-> Miscellaneous
DefyGravity
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 Wed, Feb 27 2008, 12:44 pm
In the upper right-hand corner, there's a privacy hyperlink. Go to that, and then go to Limited Profile in the lower right-hand corner.
Go to edit setting to decide what you don't want certain people to see.
I have a list of people under my limited profile that can only see certain albums, can't see my friends list, or stories about me.
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Hashem_Yaazor
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Wed, Feb 27 2008, 2:06 pm
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Not sure if I'm a snob, but my point was once the amount of requests I had to deny were greater than the amount I wanted to accept, I said forget it. I don't know why these people are checking me up and even if they can't see my profile, I don't need to be on there so I left.
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amother
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Fri, Mar 28 2008, 3:54 pm
In my opinion, that is the beauty of facebook. Reconnecting to your high school classmates, and finding out what they're up to.
Getting to know someone in real life, or lets say, amother, and then getting to know each other on facebook.
I found a childhood friend, not jewish, I grew up with and it was soo interesting to learn what she is up to these days!
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amother
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Fri, Mar 28 2008, 4:00 pm
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Yeah well, I just received a few friend requests - 1 was a friend I had in college, it's been years and it was good to hear from her. Another, was someone I don't know at all and is just friends with a friend of mine? I have no idea, and the third was a girl I went to elem. school with. She's not Jewish and to be completely honest, and completely rude, she's total trash. She had a couple of kids out of wedlock, and she was one of those kids in high school who did drugs etc., Why would I want to reconnect with someone I was a)never friends with and b)is not someone I'd want to be friends with now?
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bigdeal
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Fri, Mar 28 2008, 4:03 pm
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I like facebook- its a social network - you dont have to BEST buds- just have to sorta know them....... very sorta- its not like anyones being stalked ( if yes- thats a seperate thing)
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yo'ma
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Fri, Mar 28 2008, 4:16 pm
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I once got a request to allow access for someone to call me through skype. I had no idea who this person was, so I said no. They never asked again, so they either made a mistake or was playing around.
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amother
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Fri, Mar 28 2008, 5:13 pm
At the risk of echoing several posts, I'll add my two cents: Facebook is a phenomenal tool that allows networking and keeping in touch as well as promotes friendships!! I love being able to quickly post family pics or pics of a party etc. and then have all my friend and family be able to easily access and comment... how convenient!
At the same time, it's the internet... Be careful!! When I receive friend requests from people I don't know, I write them a message, something along the lines of, "Sorry, please remind me..." Occasionally (maybe once) it was someone who I legitimately knew, but obviously not a close friend, and I accepted... I've also had a handful of friend requests from people whom I've never met. Some have not responded to the messages, whereas others have written, "You sounded like an interesting person, so I friended you." Creep! Those requests were not accepted, no sireee!
And like a few have said, use your privacy settings!! I have a whole list of people who I do, kind of, legitimacy know, but don't know them well enough that I want them to access my pictures or my wall.. so they're all on limited profile!
Finally, I think it's so convenient to have Facebook-- such a simple way to keep in touch with people-- especially sometimes I have a question and think "Oh, so-and-so would be the perfect person to ask," but, at the same time, I'm really not friendly enough with so-and-so to pick up the phone call or even write a normal email, so, guess what, it's Facebook to the rescue... Safe, fun and friendly FBing to all!
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amother
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Fri, Mar 28 2008, 5:33 pm
I have found that a lot of people (who have too much time on their hands) make a lot of friend requests simply because it looks good on their profile to have a lot of friends. I have also found that some people are just nosey and if they even just kinda know you they'll send you a friend request so they can see your pics or even just to see who your friends are. I have a few friend requests pending because I don't know how to reject them and I also don't feel comfortable for people to think that these people who I'm only superficially friends with (past classmates etc.) are people that I am close with - I'm talking about people who do not have good reputations. I know that I looked up a couple of people on facebook to do shidduch research for someone I'm trying to help and was really unimpressed with some of their choices as friends. It's hard to know if they are really their friends or just people they kinda know.
Facebook is really great in many ways, but I'm still debating if the positive outweighs the negative.
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shlomitsmum
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Fri, Mar 28 2008, 6:57 pm
If you wish to keep it for close friends and family only .....just use e-mail .
Facebook....Think of it as someone saying "I like you" and take a chance you might meet an awesome friend It can be a cool ahavas Israel tool.
Personally ,I accept all friendship requests becouse you can never have too many friends and even if they don't know you rejected them ....hashem knows .
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amother
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Sun, Mar 30 2008, 1:24 pm
Does anyone feel kind of uncomfortable with the whole male/female friends thing going on?
It feels not so right to me.....
like, a little to intimate....
Your thoughts?
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Ruchel
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Sun, Mar 30 2008, 1:42 pm
Intimate? Facebook? facebook is soooo not intimate. It's all about being seen. No, it doesn't bother me, and wouldn't bother me even if I wasn't allowed to have friendships with the oppiste gender (which my rav allows as long as halacha is respected and it stays healthy, and if it doesn't, it's the person's responsability to break it up - so if you notice you do it, if you don't notice, not your fault. My rav is not for blaming women of everything bh).
The atmosphere on this board has changed a "bit", so I suppose my rav will be bashed. Go ahead...
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amother
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Sun, Mar 30 2008, 1:47 pm
| amother wrote: | Does anyone feel kind of uncomfortable with the whole male/female friends thing going on?
It feels not so right to me.....
like, a little to intimate....
Your thoughts? |
I know what you mean. When I first started using FB, I sent a friend request to mu bro. He responded sure, but do you know you'll be my only female friend? It got me thinking. Do I need his friends seeeing my name every time they look at his friend list, my thumbnail pic - yeah, it's small, but still. I wouldn't have male "friends" just like I'm not friends with males in real life.
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Ruchel
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Sun, Mar 30 2008, 1:53 pm
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why not if it's a tznius pic? it's like seeing you in the street...
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bigdeal
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Sun, Mar 30 2008, 2:00 pm
Totally agree with you on the male friend thing- I get those requests from family frineds and stuff- and although I know I have nothing with them other than hello and goodbye- I dont want it to be on my PAGE- since others may get the wrong idea and my dh personally wouldnt appreciate it- and yes Ruchel, its very much a community thing, because in my community- being friends with guys is not acceptable ( other than a courteous hello and how are you)
I also see how my views changed- at first I was very "Im only friending ppl. I know....." but now I realize facebook is really what you want it to be - for me a fun browsing things of ppl. I know a bit or a lot......nothing more...
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It is not a debate! We all have our comfort zones and on the internet I prefer to remain more private. Getting facebook was a already a step out for me and I intended to keep it limited to only certain people.
