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Crookshanks
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Tue, May 10 2022, 9:04 pm
Normal like me and the watchmaker book. I forget what it's called. They're both amazing books.
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PinkFridge
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Tue, May 10 2022, 9:07 pm
Crookshanks wrote: | Normal like me and the watchmaker book. I forget what it's called. They're both amazing books. |
All I Ask.
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amother
Bluebonnet
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Tue, May 10 2022, 9:27 pm
Very small detail, but for some reason Yaffala's nickname seems odd to me. Like the "la" sounds childish but also more chareidi which she is not.
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momallhours
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Tue, May 10 2022, 9:30 pm
amother [ Bluebonnet ] wrote: | Very small detail, but for some reason Yaffala's nickname seems odd to me. Like the "la" sounds childish but also more chareidi which she is not. |
Oh my Yes! I was thinking the same! If she is cool she wouldn't keep her name Yaffala. Yaffa would go much better
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suremom
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Wed, May 11 2022, 12:50 pm
Chayalle wrote: | I think she is not the typical but I know someone like that. The type that if one kid is sick, she shleps all five of her kids (under 7) with her to the doctor in the rain because ch'v her husband should lift a finger to help her.
I think there's a vast difference between being married to someone like R' Chaim Kanievsky, and your average Kollel guy (even a very big masmid Kollel guy) and it's important to teach girls the difference.
Before I got married to my Kollel DH, my friend's father (a veteran mechanech of boys for many years, very Chashuv person) told me he has a piece of advice for me. He said don't be martyr. And he said start this right away - ask your husband for help - so it won't be hard when you need it.
I think perhaps the Chareidi society in EY pushes the girls harder than the yeshivish community in the US. I only know one person like that and it's an extreme. Most people I know, the DH's pitch in plenty.... |
How do you think a R' Chaim happens? And why is the blatt R' Chaim learns more choshuv than what someone else learns?
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Chayalle
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Wed, May 11 2022, 1:08 pm
suremom wrote: | How do you think a R' Chaim happens? And why is the blatt R' Chaim learns more choshuv than what someone else learns? |
I believe R' Chaim was already unique at the time of his marriage.
But for most men, a man who gets married has a mitzva to help his wife, and his wife shouldn't feel bad to take him away from that blatt when she needs his help.
I have heard this from big people, not making it up myself. R' Mattisyahu Salamon instructed men who have young children at home to take off from learning and help out.
If someone has a doubt as to whether their husband is the future Gadol HaDor and shouldn't be helping them because their blatt Gemarah is more Chashuv, they should be shoel eitzah.
(my own personal observation has been that those who rely on their own superior knowledge in this often are not the next Gadol HaDor.)
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suremom
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Wed, May 11 2022, 1:12 pm
Chayalle wrote: | I believe R' Chaim was already unique at the time of his marriage.
But for most men, a man who gets married has a mitzva to help his wife, and his wife shouldn't feel bad to take him away from that blatt when she needs his help.
I have heard this from big people, not making it up myself. R' Mattisyahu Salamon instructed men who have young children at home to take off from learning and help out.
If someone has a doubt as to whether their husband is the future Gadol HaDor and shouldn't be helping them because their blatt Gemarah is more Chashuv, they should be shoel eitzah.
(my own personal observation has been that those who rely on their own superior knowledge in this often are not the next Gadol HaDor.) |
I agree with you. I just wanted to point out that one usually isnt a gadol hador at the time of marriage and we should be machshiv each blatt as if our spouses are one (gadol hador).
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Chayalle
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Wed, May 11 2022, 1:22 pm
suremom wrote: | I agree with you. I just wanted to point out that one usually isnt a gadol hador at the time of marriage and we should be machshiv each blatt as if our spouses are one (gadol hador). |
I think there's alot of danger in that kind of message (as this story demonstrates). I think we can be machshiv each blatt, but that can be taken to an extreme. A woman running a fever with 3 little ones isn't "not being machshiv the blatt" when she needs her husband to stay home from night seder.
I think there are people like R' Chaim Kanievsky who are on a different level. I also think his Rebbetzin signed up for that, knowing her own capabilities. People need to be in touch with themselves, and realistically know what works for them. In this story, it wasn't working for Nechamie.
I once read that when R' Yaakov Kaminetsky was a young man, his FIL found out that he would stay home to help his wife wash the floors before Shabbos. So his FIL started coming to help his daughter wash the floors. Because she needed the help. But the FIL felt R' Yaakov shouldn't take off from learning. So he did it.
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amother
OP
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Wed, May 11 2022, 2:10 pm
suremom wrote: | I agree with you. I just wanted to point out that one usually isnt a gadol hador at the time of marriage and we should be machshiv each blatt as if our spouses are one (gadol hador). |
It's very chashuv but it is more chashuv to help out a spouse that is crashing.
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amother
OP
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Wed, May 11 2022, 2:11 pm
does anyone remember that scene with the ice cream the child had left on the counter?
I loved that so much how the child came back and said that he came back cuz he knew his Ima will be upset that he'll grow up spoiled. Was one of the tear jerkers.
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GLUE
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Wed, May 11 2022, 2:30 pm
Chayalle wrote: | I think she is not the typical but I know someone like that. The type that if one kid is sick, she shleps all five of her kids (under 7) with her to the doctor in the rain |
Were you talking about me?
Chayalle when you have a bunch of little kids you have to learn how to do things buy your self and you learn how to manage.
When you have a bunch of little kids talking them to the Dr. can be a daily chore. So, you learn how to do it buy yourself.
Now I go to the store and see women with a bunch of little kids with them and wonder how they do it. But, a number of years ago that was me. It was part of my life.
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Chayalle
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Wed, May 11 2022, 3:54 pm
GLUE wrote: | Were you talking about me?
Chayalle when you have a bunch of little kids you have to learn how to do things buy your self and you learn how to manage.
When you have a bunch of little kids talking them to the Dr. can be a daily chore. So, you learn how to do it buy yourself.
Now I go to the store and see women with a bunch of little kids with them and wonder how they do it. But, a number of years ago that was me. It was part of my life. |
I don't think so LOL.
I don't want to post more about that particular example for privacy reasons, but it was a situation where she was clearly not managing, but wouldn't dream of asking her husband (who was home) to watch some of the children so she didn't have to shlep all of them.
But yeah, if you are managing and learning how to do these things that's great.
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amother
Tanzanite
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Wed, May 11 2022, 8:10 pm
I just wanted to add I also love this serial and follow it like I've never followed a magazine serial before. One thing that's really been bothering me is the Chaya subplot. How did she go from wanting to marry someone rich and not learning to wanting to marry the iluy within a few chapters. Like to these ppl there's nothing in between vacationing and seeing the world and living in a hole in Yerushalayim for the rest of your life.
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pinkpeonies
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Wed, May 11 2022, 8:37 pm
amother [ Tanzanite ] wrote: | I just wanted to add I also love this serial and follow it like I've never followed a magazine serial before. One thing that's really been bothering me is the Chaya subplot. How did she go from wanting to marry someone rich and not learning to wanting to marry the iluy within a few chapters. Like to these ppl there's nothing in between vacationing and seeing the world and living in a hole in Yerushalayim for the rest of your life. |
Chaya doesn’t seem to have fully figured out what she wants and is pretty easily influenced. She’s trying to strike a balance somewhere between Nechami and Dudi because growing up as one of the youngest, I think she saw the maalos and chesronos of both of them.
What she really thinks she wants is to be like Nechami, but when she realizes that it’s so so hard, she thinks about the extreme opposite. She will end up in the middle somewhere
To the person posting about the “la” at the end of yaffalas name, that’s an Israeli vs American thing. In chareidi circles, the la is less childish than in America. Also, while she definitely grew up more modern than dudi did, she still grew up quite chareidi. The standards she’s being held to are really really high!!
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amother
Lily
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Sat, May 28 2022, 11:05 pm
Beautiful ending but so many open questions! I loved the romance and the symbolism of the yerushalayim shel zahav
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amother
Iris
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Sat, May 28 2022, 11:12 pm
She is one of the best authors of Jewish literature today.
Honestly, I can barely read most of the serials in the magazines, the writing is so poor.
Ruti Kepler is one of the four, that have any substance.
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Java
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Sat, May 28 2022, 11:19 pm
amother [ Lily ] wrote: | Beautiful ending but so many open questions! I loved the romance and the symbolism of the yerushalayim shel zahav |
I loved it too!!
I think that's actually a mark of a good writer where they dont feel the need to have everything wrapped up in a pretty bow. Like they can leave you feeling satisfied with the ending but still not knowing for sure what happened and that's fine
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Java
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Sat, May 28 2022, 11:20 pm
amother [ Iris ] wrote: | She is one of the best authors of Jewish literature today.
Honestly, I can barely read most of the serials in the magazines, the writing is so poor.
Ruti Kepler is one of the four, that have any substance. |
Leah Gebber is really good too!
I think the problem is lots of authors don't really understand how character development should work. Those 2 definitely do
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Odelyah
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Sun, May 29 2022, 3:06 am
Java wrote: | Leah Gebber is really good too!
I think the problem is lots of authors don't really understand how character development should work. Those 2 definitely do |
I was blown away by this serial and sorry it had to end! I hope it will come out in book form. I agree about her characters. I actually ended up loving how she crafted Gedalya into such a human, sympathetic character. And the mother with Dudi at the end! I wanted to cry.
Another recent serial with outstanding character development was Dream On. Really sad when that ended too. The only one I look forward to now is Second Dance. Its author is also a character-crafting master.
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amother
Stone
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Sun, May 29 2022, 3:42 pm
I didn't like the recap about Gedalya knowing when he can bend his principles. No, maybe reevaluate..I don't know it just rubbed me the wrong way.
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