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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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amother
OP
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 Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:26 pm
We recently downsized our home. My in-laws used to stay in a nice en suite guest bedroom in our old house when they came to visit us (from another country). Now we don't really have a guest bedroom anymore. One of my kids will have to give up his room. It's a small room and the beds aren't so comfortable.
It is hard for me to think about letting them use my and DH's room, which has good beds and an en suite bathroom and the privacy they are used to. I even feel icky about the thought of them sleeping in our beds. Am I a terrible person? Is it the right thing to do to give them our room?
DH I'm sure would not want them to stay in our room, but I just feel bad that I'm not offering them out most comfortable accommodations when they came so far to see us.
Please advise!
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LK1
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:30 pm
Do you have a neighbor that you could put them by with a suite guestroom?
Tough place to be in, I don't think I would give up our room...
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amother
Antiquewhite
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:32 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | We recently downsized our home. My in-laws used to stay in a nice en suite guest bedroom in our old house when they came to visit us (from another country). Now we don't really have a guest bedroom anymore. One of my kids will have to give up his room. It's a small room and the beds aren't so comfortable.
It is hard for me to think about letting them use my and DH's room, which has good beds and an en suite bathroom and the privacy they are used to. I even feel icky about the thought of them sleeping in our beds. Am I a terrible person? Is it the right thing to do to give them our room?
DH I'm sure would not want them to stay in our room, but I just feel bad that I'm not offering them out most comfortable accommodations when they came so far to see us.
Please advise! |
Do not give up your master bdrm. That’s private and shouldn’t be an option. If they’d be more comfortable at a neighbor’s or a relative’s, or even just going to sleep at a hotel, then do that but not your room.
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amother
NeonPurple
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:32 pm
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No you don’t have to give them your room. And anyone who tells you that you must is pushing a chumrah on you.
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amother
Phlox
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:36 pm
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If husband doesn’t want to than that’s end game
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amother
Slateblue
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:39 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | We recently downsized our home. My in-laws used to stay in a nice en suite guest bedroom in our old house when they came to visit us (from another country). Now we don't really have a guest bedroom anymore. One of my kids will have to give up his room. It's a small room and the beds aren't so comfortable.
It is hard for me to think about letting them use my and DH's room, which has good beds and an en suite bathroom and the privacy they are used to. I even feel icky about the thought of them sleeping in our beds. Am I a terrible person? Is it the right thing to do to give them our room?
DH I'm sure would not want them to stay in our room, but I just feel bad that I'm not offering them out most comfortable accommodations when they came so far to see us.
Please advise! |
No, you do not have to give up your bedroom, and I doubt they would accept. But if you can afford it, upgrade the beds in your child's room; your in laws will appreciate it, and so will your child.
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amother
Strawberry
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:39 pm
I say out them in kids room. Obviously they should have that room to themselves and kids should move out for the time being. It should be as nice and comfortable as possible.
It’ll be good for your kids to prep room for grandparents and make it’s special ect.
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amother
Lemonchiffon
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:39 pm
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I would not do it. Our kids have done it for us, and we’re not comfortable accepting, although it’s on their own initiative, and they claim they’re perfectly fine with it. We’d rather take a less comfortable room and not feel like we are pushing them out of theirs.
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amother
Blueberry
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:40 pm
My parents and in laws will never agree to sleep in our room, even if we offer..... a master bedroom is not a room to give to guests. We sometimes have people staying at our house for shabbos when we're away, we lock up the master.
I also wouldn't be comfortable sleeping in anyone's master bedroom.
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amother
Lilac
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:40 pm
No it isn’t appropriate.
Your bedroom is private and it should stay that way.
They shouldn’t even feel comfortable doing that.
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amother
DarkMagenta
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:41 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | We recently downsized our home. My in-laws used to stay in a nice en suite guest bedroom in our old house when they came to visit us (from another country). Now we don't really have a guest bedroom anymore. One of my kids will have to give up his room. It's a small room and the beds aren't so comfortable.
It is hard for me to think about letting them use my and DH's room, which has good beds and an en suite bathroom and the privacy they are used to. I even feel icky about the thought of them sleeping in our beds. Am I a terrible person? Is it the right thing to do to give them our room?
DH I'm sure would not want them to stay in our room, but I just feel bad that I'm not offering them out most comfortable accommodations when they came so far to see us.
Please advise! |
No no no. But you can borrow better mattresses or buy mattress toppers for them so that they are more comfortable.
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Lashes
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:41 pm
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Don't give up your master bedroom! It's very personal space and you are not expected to let anyone in, especially USE your beds....
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amother
Feverfew
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:51 pm
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No. Your bedroom is off limits. Buy good mattress toppers to make the beds more comfortable in the kids room but your bedroom shouldn't be an option
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amother
Mauve
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:53 pm
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I don't think you have to do that. I just want to say that you sound like an exceptional person and wonderful daughter in law. Your in laws are lucky to have you in their family.
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tweety1
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 3:55 pm
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I would never give up my room for to anybody. Not my parents, not my in laws NOBODY.
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amother
OP
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 4:03 pm
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Wow I didn't expect it to be so unanimous. I feel so relieved because I really didn't want to do it. Lol. Thank you everyone for your replies. And thank you to the one who complimented me on being a good daughter-in-law.
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4g01o
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 4:08 pm
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No I definitely wouldn't have them sleep in my bed etc. You're so kind to even want to be giving them your room and en suite as an option.
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amother
Opal
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 4:08 pm
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I would give up master bedroom for my in laws.
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Chickensoupprof
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 4:10 pm
I would never give up my room for anybody. Call me selfish 
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tichellady
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Thu, Jul 21 2022, 4:15 pm
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I think it could be the right thing to do but if your really don’t want to do it you don’t have to
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