What do u wear | Imamother

amother

Mulberry

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 9:15 am

Not_in_my_town wrote:

Just woke up and not going to comment on all of the comments now as I have to get kids to the bus, but to the poster who asked about those pretty Shabbos robes: It has to do with social context, as the woman with the cruise story so well explained.

Those Shabbos robes are perfectly tznuis. However, if you are in Williamsburg, for instance, or any other very chasidishe community, the local rabbonim hold that it is not tznuis to walk outdoors in one.
Does that mean no one does? Nope. Most people realized it's narishkeit and they will continue wearing their Shabbos robes outside. Others will wear the robes but pull them up with a belt so that they won't be long.

That's one of the frum dichotomies that make no sense:

Long skirts during the week are considered not tznuis to wear outside, though some "rebels" will wear a slinky skirt in front of their own house.

Long robes during Shabbos are generally worn, but the ultra-frum consider them not tznuis outside of the house.

Go figure.

Long skirts have long become acceptable and many women wear them outside. By now, I'd say there are less women that don't wear long skirts outside than those that do. Those that do are definitely not rebels.

Helenk

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 9:29 am

Not_in_my_town wrote:

Just pointing out that the same people who wouldn’t wear a long robe outside on shabbos would also not wear a long skirt outside during the week. I’m not aware of any population that considers it inappropriate to wear their long robes outside but wears long skirts. The women who don’t wear long robes don’t wear long skirts either. It’s usually pretty consistent.

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 9:36 am

Not_in_my_town wrote:

Interesting. Is that a new psak? When I was a little girl, my grandmother lived in boropark. She was not chassidish, but many people there were and msny msny many women walked around in robes. Not just one or two women.
Wondering when this changed.

amother

DarkMagenta

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 9:41 am

Most chassidish women and girls wear long Shabbos robes. The schools however tell the girls not to wear them outside because it's meant to be worn at home. They also put out ads in the circulars to remind women and girls not to walk around in long robes.

Some do it some dont.

Not_in_my_town

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 9:47 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I'm not sure when it changed, if it ever changed. Could be the very frum crowd always was this way, at least for many years. I'm not sure. But it's definately a "zach." A few years ago there were tzetelech posted all over that it is assur to wear a long robe outside. But very few listened.

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 9:51 am

Not_in_my_town wrote:

I guess im talking about 30 years ago.
What is a zach and tzetelech? Remember not everyone knows yiddish here Smile

amother

Olive

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 9:58 am

amother [ Mulberry ] wrote:

My neighbor comes out in a morning robe on top of her pj's Can't Believe It

I do that too. Sorry if that offends you and you disapprove.
I’m gathering you think You are better than me.

I fail to see why you would care.

amother

Skyblue

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 10:09 am

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

I do that too. Sorry if that offends you and you disapprove.
I’m gathering you think You are better than me.

I fail to see why you would care.

I don't think she cars. I don't think she is offended. Op asked how people go outside for the bus and she wrote that her neighbor comes out in a night robe over pj's. Obviously if she is mentioning it, then no one in her circles and neighborhood does it and this neighbor is striking out as different.

She didn't say that she is better than you. You can do you. No need to get offended

amother

Mulberry

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 10:24 am

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

I do that too. Sorry if that offends you and you disapprove.
I’m gathering you think You are better than me.

I fail to see why you would care.

I'm not offended. (You seem offended, sorry about that. It was not my intention.)
I don't care.
I absolutely don't think I'm better than you, that's absurd.
I answered OP's post, I didn't think it would become such a discussion. I just thought it was interesting information to add.

amother

Olive

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 10:48 am

amother [ Mulberry ] wrote:

It is interesting information if you just stated the information. Your adding the Can't Believe It

was a judgment statement.

amother

Mulberry

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 10:56 am

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

It is interesting information if you just stated the information. Your adding the Can't Believe It

was a judgment statement.

I don't think it was a judgment statement, I certainly didn't intend for it to be.
(Though I am a human being, and human beings are judgmental in certain situations. It's hard to not think anything of a woman that stands at a busy street corner in a white night robe. I think it's inappropriate and weird. I'm not thinking anything bad about her personally, just that it's a weird thing to do.)

amother

Mulberry

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 11:01 am

amother [ DarkMagenta ] wrote:

Off topic. But does anyone ever consider that the original neighbor might be reading this and figured out who the OP neighbor is?

I highly doubt she's on here, they officially don't have internet. But if she was, I'd have heard about it from her already.....

amother

Crocus

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 12:44 pm

Not_in_my_town wrote:

So now it's not tznuis to drink out of a bottle? Confused

And you seriously don't get how it's based on social standards?

Can't Believe It

The community decides what is "dignified" and some of those levels of dignity may be based on shtuss. Yup. I stand by that.

In my community, as said, wearing a tichel to the grocery is considered inappropriate. Why?
Because that is what the community has chosen to push.

But I choose to side with Hashem and let actual halacha lead the way.

The Taryag mitzvos and halacha are my guidebook, thank you very much.

Drinking out of a bottle is a bit פראסט
according to Kitzur, it is preferable to cut a bread or apple into pieces, instead of biting into the whole.
Remember, its a free country.
we each are entitled to our own opinions.
and, respect goes both ways.

amother

Royalblue

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 12:50 pm

amother [ Crocus ] wrote:

I'm not so good about cutting food into pieces. My oldest ds does slice his pizza into pieces and other things

Not_in_my_town

Fri, Jul 29 2022, 1:14 pm

amother [ Crocus ] wrote:

I hear you. We definitely should be dignified and not low class, however, my point is that dignity and tznuis are two different topics. Everything in its appropriate place.

And dignity means different things for different people. And that's okay. Each in their own way.

But someone doing something undignified doesn't mean not tznuis.

For instance, during the Holocaust people went for years in filthy conditions, unable to bathe. It was certainly undignified, but Bnos Yisroel certainly put in the effort to be tznuis.

Do you understand the point? One can be tznuis but undignified, or dignified and not tznuis. Or both dignified and tznuis and not difnified and not tznuis. The two topics are not one and the same.