How much did you spend on your sons bar Mitzva?

amother

NeonPurple

Tue, Oct 25 2022, 9:44 am

DS's bar mitzvah ended up being during Covid so bh we were able to get away with a very small affair.
Did a party for his friends and rebbeim at a restaurant. Total with clothing came to around $2000. I did not get a new sheitel, or makeup done, or a new dress. My kids all had new clothing as it was anyway the beginning of the season. My son made a playlist of music and my BIL (who was the only relative able to come) took pictures.
Grandparents paid for the tefillin

These prices I'm seeing are astounding and make me so sad that this is what we as a community are spending our money on, even those that can afford it

Edited to add: OOT - if it wasn't obvious Wink

amother

Calendula

Tue, Oct 25 2022, 10:14 am

I'm OOT.

My friends have told me that the TOTAL of everything comes out to $10K

That is including 2 hats (I'd assume total ranging $250-500), tefillin and bag (I'd assume range is $2000-3300), invitations, all the clothes that the boys need (beyond that new suit and hemming- new wardrobe even for weekdays- dress shoes, dress pants ($45 each), white shirts, wool tzitzis), music ($500) for an event, and the food, location rentals, and waitstaff.

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Oct 25 2022, 10:19 am

Quote:

In Baltimore generally the Bo Bayom (weeknight event) is just for the boy's friends and Rabbeim. My son ended up with a Covid Bar Mitzvah that was completely different (and very low cost) but many people make something in the Royal or Knish Shop for 30-40 people--probably around $1000 or a bit more.

Actually I've been invited to a few Bo Bayoms as a relative or even friend of the parents. Was more like 60 people. With music, clothing, hair, makeup, etc you're closer to 2.5k-3k.

amother

Sienna

Tue, Oct 25 2022, 10:54 am

amother Pumpkin wrote:

Quote:

Actually I've been invited to a few Bo Bayoms as a relative or even friend of the parents. Was more like 60 people. With music, clothing, hair, makeup, etc you're closer to 2.5k-3k.

I live in Baltimore and made my 3rd Bar Mitzvah less than a year ago. Bo Bayoms were for approximately 50 people - my son's shiur, a few other boys who are good friends or neighbors with my son, Rebbeim and family only (we are a small family). We did it in our shul, partially food service from Knish Shop and partially cooked in the shul kitchen as no homemade food is allowed. I got tablecloths from the Gemach, did centerpieces myself, bought the paper goods at Amazing Savings on a trip to Lakewood, and we did all the set-up and clean-up, so no waiters. Total cost for the hall rental + food (including paper goods, drinks, appetizer, main course and dessert) was approximately $1,200.

Music (one man band) was $350. We hired a professional photographer for $250 to take family portraits beforehand, but not to stay for the Boy Bayom as that was outside the budget. Invitations and stamps were approx. $300, which included a lot of extra invitations sent out for the Shabbos kiddush, and benchers were about $100 as we were able to get a relative to pick them up from NY and avoid shipping. Altogether, without clothing for the Bar Mitzvah boy or anyone else in the family, the total cost was $2,200.

My older daughters and I did our own make-up and the girls had friends do their hair. Why would someone buy a new sheitel for a Bar Mitzvah? I had mine wash and set, but do not consider that a specific expense for the simcha since it was due for one anyway.

BH my in-laws gift to the Bar Mitzvah boy is Tefillin so we did not have that expense.

amother

Freesia

Tue, Oct 25 2022, 12:15 pm

I posted a lot about my bar mitzvah here, so some of you might recognize me, but I'm still going to go anon for the $$$.

Lakewood, June 2021

Shabbos bo bayom was in our bungalow colony, bought some hot dishes to the regular weekly potluck Kiddush: 150$

Evening party for my son's friends, my neighbors, friends, and family in our yard:

Tent, table and chairs rental, lighting rental: 1000$
Wait staff, cleaning help: 300$
Homemade food (lots of help from family and friends: 800$
Catered food: 500$ (included a food truck)
Music and DJ, hundreds of little light up thingys I bought on Amazon for the kids to dance with: 1000$
Photographer: 350$
Hair, makeup, clothing for myself: 300$
My kids had clothing in good shape, didn't buy new. Hats: 300$
Tefilin: my parents bought
Tablecloths and centerpieces from a Gamach:20$
Paper goods from Amazon: 400$

The total was around 5,000$, and it was an amazing party. My son says it was the best night of his life, and my other boys want similar at-home bar mitzvahs.

Getting geared up to make our next one in 18 months! Can't wait!

amother

Tomato

Tue, Oct 25 2022, 12:21 pm

Another Baltimore mother here.

Bar mitzvah was last year, planning to do the same for my next son iy'H soon.

1,500 for Bo Bayom meal, including professional photographer to take family pics beforehand and a teenager to take pictures at the Bo Bayom, and music. Royal. It was just for relatives and his friends and rebbe.

3,000 for Shabbos, including catered meals for all relatives (I made Shalosh Seudos at home, but the other meals were in a shul social hall, and I did hire someone to do setup and cleanup) and kiddush in shul.

Tefillin were B"H a gift from his grandparents.

I bought a dress for less than 100 for myself. Dresses for my young daughters for cheap (Burlington, Marshalls, someplace like that, I don't remember). My sons and husband wore their Shabbos suits, although we did buy a new one for the bar mitzvah boy. He needed it soon anyway. We did our own hair and I did my own makeup. Created and printed our own invitations. No benchers or anything, didn't find them necessary. B"H it was a beautiful simcha and my son was very happy. We asked my next son if he wants anything different, and he said no but to please use the same musician as he really liked him Smile

amother

DarkCyan

Tue, Oct 25 2022, 12:42 pm

amother Tomato wrote:

I’m in Brooklyn. Did a bo bayom for mostly family plus maybe one table by ladies and 2 by men not family. No boys friends (yeshiva has rules and no one invites) cost for everything was about in the 11,000 range.
Halls are expensive and both me and my dh have a large family. (Invited our aunts/uncles, our siblings and their married and unmarried kids) We had about 60 couples so no doing it at home. (And no I couldn’t leave people out cuz I’m very close to some nieces and nephews but I couldn’t pick and choose which to invite)
But everything adds up the hall (we did in the cheapest we found that was big enough) a small sweet table, clothing for boy and family. New shaitel for me cuz I hadn’t gotten one in around 5 years. Tefillin and bag. Shoes for everyone….

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Oct 25 2022, 1:21 pm

Quote:

Another Baltimore mother here.

3,000 for Shabbos, including catered meals for all relatives (I made Shalosh Seudos at home, but the other meals were in a shul social hall, and I did hire someone to do setup and cleanup) and kiddush in shul.

Did you buy the food and get setup/clean up or catered? If catered, who did you use? I'm looking now and the prices we were quoted (40 for shabbos and that's basically only immediate relatives) double that for 2 meals and a kiddush.

amother

Red

Tue, Oct 25 2022, 1:29 pm

About 5k - 3 years ago in Monsey.

We took a one stop shop hall. The caterer came with the hall and had his own tablecloths, napkins, and centerpieces that we used. We did not have music, and only had a photographer for family photos before the event. Very small kiddush on shabbos just for our neighbors.

Clothing was purchased at end of season sales (70-80% off and I sold some of our dresses after). Tefillin was bought by my in laws.

amother

Tomato

Tue, Oct 25 2022, 1:39 pm

amother Pumpkin wrote:

Quote:

Hired someone in town who is, for lack of a better term, a party planner. But not the fancy kind, just someone who orders and picks up the food for you, warms it, has people to serve it, sets up, and cleans up. I think she got the food from the knish shop, but picked up a couple of other things from other places (we had someone who was a vegetarian, so she got him something from David Chus).

Kiddush was a regular shul kiddush. It was the last one under pseudo-covid guidelines, though, which meant that it was private and not for the whole shul. I don't think that's an option at our shul at this point.

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Oct 25 2022, 2:05 pm

Quote:

I'm not looking or fancy. I spoke to someone similar. They wanted 2k per meal for 50 people (our original estimate of attendees) plus more for the kiddush.

If you had covid pricing, then I'm sure it's more now. The cost of food shot up.