Do kids see things differently then adults?

amother

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 3:32 pm

I have a lot of issues with the way my husband treats my kids.

Sometimes I feel so powerless to stop him, and I am so afraid that he is covertly abusing them.
It gives me the shivers.

I have a lot of hatred and inner anger towards my husband for certain reasons.
When my kids say things back to him like "I hate you, everyone hates you" in my heart Im agreeing too.
Its very hard for me to hear them talking like this.
When I hear it for me, Its like they mean it , the same way I do.
The same way I feel it.

When he does little things to them, like make fun of them, sometimes in a jokey way (for him) or playfully pushes them , or answers back or things like that, my mind freezes and I dont know where to go.
Or sometimes hel be a bit too rough with them which really bothers me.
Nothing dangerous or too ohysical but enouvh to make the kids upset.
I feel like theyr being treated the same way he treats me and I feel so powerless to do anything.

The last time it happened, I just started wondering if maybe the things that are happening to my children, they are not seeing it ,and treating it ,as bad as I am?
I know there are certain things that shouldnt be going on but Maybe I am looking at it from an adults (very hurt and angry) perspective..?
Maybe they dont feel whatever they feel as strongly as I do..?
Could that be possible?

Im not trying to make light of whats happenign, but im wondering if maybe im sort of feeling for them and it feels so horrible, but maybe I could be wrong, and they dont feel such strong emotions like I do, and its normal for kids to react like they do..?

If anyone has any insight or could help me figure out what Im saying would really appreciate it.

amother

Vermilion

Mon, Oct 31 2022, 3:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

Don’t think it isn’t as bad for them because they’re kids. It’s worse! They have fewer tools when they’re young than adults do in trying to recess why they’re being treated that way! They can’t realize that he’s the one with the problem, not them! They believe what the parent tells them and process it as: they are bad. This will ruin their self esteem and self image for life, and make it likely they will subconsciously choose a spouse that reminds them of the deficient parents, who will treat them as badly as the parent did,
You obviously know what’s wrong here. You must do whatever possible to stop him from ruining your kids this way! Insist he get therapy and don’t take no for an answer! And demand better for yourself from him as well, your kids are taking in everything!