Tefillin for a newbie Mommy.

amother

Coral

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 1:42 pm

$400 is not that big of a difference to spring for the more mehudar'dige option. Especially if your DS is the type to appreciate it.

DH bought DS's tefillin through a middleman he trusts since he didn't know any sofrim directly.
I went with DS to a Judaica store to choose his tefillin bag. DS chose a style he liked, and I think it's gorgeous. He didn't want any of the modern shtick like leather or fur, which worked fine for me. Smile

Kumphort

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 1:43 pm

Buy an AirTag or other similar gps device to put in ur sons bag!

amother

Thistle

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 1:57 pm

Why don't you ask your son? If he WANTS the better Tefillin, he will be more motivated to care for them (as he has done successfully with the iPad).

I also second the AirTag suggestion!

amother

Tulip

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 1:59 pm

amother OP wrote:

Update, so we got a quote from a reputable sofer and he gave us 2 options a higher madreiga and a lower madreiga.

My husband and I are very torn. On the one hand we want to give our son the "best we can afford"--(it's like a $400 difference, either one is a big expense for us, but Hashem Yaazor) on the other hand giving such a valuable commodity to our 13 year-old son is a daunting proposition. While my son is USUALLY responsible, this child does have ADHD and is prone to "oopsies" and rare "outbursts". He is usually careful with his belongings--almost always brings home his jacket, puts away his shoes etc and has had an ipad (real ipad) for several years, his ipad has needed a few repairs here and there but overall he has managed to not lose/damage it beyond hope. Hygiene is a slightly different issue, but he is showing signs of maturity but he hasn't really hit full-on puberty where it's become an issue, but he doesn't like being dirty, nor does he like showering.

Not mention that we have Marvelous Middos Machine 4 in our car and I hear the story all the time.

Of course I see all kinds of miraculous stories about how tefillin are rescued, saved, returned etc.
But then my sister and brother-in-law (who I believe used the same sofer) went with the "regular" option.

How do we decide? Do we stay more within our means? Do we trust him like we trust him with his ipad?

We have 2 other boys right now who we will need to make similar cheshbonos.

Now I understand why a b'chor gets pi shnayim...

Do you have a Rav you can ask? We didn’t make any decisions about tefilin on our own. We’re not clueless people nor are we people who call the Rav before we tie a shoelace but this is a big deal for us.l and very shaila worthy.

amother

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 2:06 pm

Kumphort wrote:

Buy an AirTag or other similar gps device to put in ur sons bag!

So it's not only loss it's the "protection from moisture" aspect that has me more worried.

amother

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 2:07 pm

amother Tulip wrote:

Yea, good point. Have to figure out which Rav to ask...

amother

Thistle

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 2:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

So it's not only loss it's the "protection from moisture" aspect that has me more worried.

Not as beautiful, but they have a waterproof Tefillin container:
https://www.ajudaica.com/Set-I.....m1831
https://www.hasofer.com/page.p.....ector

amother

Mulberry

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 2:19 pm

My son just had his Bar Mitzvah this week. I missed his first time putting on tefillin because the "reputable" sofer who our Rav trusted gave us a runaround. We ended up through tremendous hashgacha and siyata dishmaya getting a last minute pair in Israel as they are there this week.

You can choose the lower price point and then decide to offer him something more mehudar for his wedding BZH. That was what I originally wanted to do. But HKBH changed that plan and now he has beautiful mehudar tfillin.

Whatever you do. Make sure you you stay in touch with the sofer. Make sure he answers your calls or returns them in a timely fashion. And make sure you tell him at least two weeks before you actually need them.

I'm still doing the inner work to forgive the sofer for not getting us tefillin on time. For putting us off and for giving us the runaround. We haven't even dealt with the money part of this tircha. With H help this is being resolved in a peaceful and satisfying manner.

amother

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 2:22 pm

amother Thistle wrote:

Not as beautiful, but they have a waterproof Tefillin container:
https://www.ajudaica.com/Set-I.....m1831
https://www.hasofer.com/page.p.....ector

interesting idea. Thank you.

Last edited by amother on Fri, Nov 04 2022, 3:08 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Ruby

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 2:22 pm

As far as tefillin bags, we live OOT, my son and many of his friends ordered from
https://prestigeembroidery.com
I would order sooner rather than later just because it can take time to come