Working PT, feel like loser

amother

Sat, Nov 12 2022, 8:37 pm

Okay, I need some help/validation.

I feel like I'm terrible at earning $.

I used to babysit really few kids bc I wanted to give attention to my kids (and I was afraid my kids would get sick too much).

Then I took a low paying pt job to be around my kids schedule. Then I took another low paying job to be able to accommodate to my kids carpool( I don't have a lot!)...then I got a better paying pt job....and people around tell me how they get $50 per hour in current market. I was so happy for $30!

Feel like a loser, I just don't have that confidence in me to ask more. I am so so busy with my home , my kids aren't the most fancy dressed, and house isn't cleanest. But my kids and housekeeping just takes so much time ! I am so jealous of earning Lakewood girls, and I'm not stupid. I just can't get a job that gonna pay that much for some reason. Feel like loser comparing myself to others who earn and brag around .....

I feel like disable

amother

Sand

Sat, Nov 12 2022, 8:45 pm

I am a SAHM. I know not the first thing about salaries and going rates, esp. Not in lakewood. I will say that I am impressed with your dedication to your kids and family life, how you build your work schedule to be available for your kids. That is special.
Pls don't let other peoples salaries have any bearing on your self worth - there is no connection. Think about all the good you do.

(and if you think your boss may go for it, totally ask for that raise.. nothing to loose, right?)

amother

Peru

Sat, Nov 12 2022, 9:14 pm

OP, you need to stop looking outward and start looking inward. Forget everyone else, ask yourself. What do you want in life? How do you want these years of mothering young children to look for you? How do you find fulfillment? Are you happy with how your life looks now? Or are you too busy comparing yourself to others to actually know that?
Make decisions based on what's best for you and your family. You will always be less fabulous than someone else, focus on your own dreams and your own reality.

amother

Sat, Nov 12 2022, 9:49 pm

amother Peru wrote:

I try, only not when ,let's say ,someone says " I will get pregnant " -and she does so easily, a baby year later. Or someone says " I will get a job "- and voila, she taka gets it a short time after. I can't get over fact that people can brag, and they really get what they claim they want.

I also want to get more $ I don't think I am more stupid than a bragging person who got higher paying job. Who wants to work and earn less? )Just somehow didnt work for me to find such a good position.

I just don't get this Lakewood reality anymore. Like ...how are people so sure they are worth it so much? I won't have chutzpah to ask for more $ bc I feel you got to really really prove yourself.

amother

Peru

Sat, Nov 12 2022, 10:19 pm

amother OP wrote:

You need to take everyone else out of the equation. Their lives, their problem, your life, your problem. You aren't satisfied with your salary? Do some research, see what the options are, see if you can take a small course that will give you a skill that will make your work worth more. But stop looking at others and their successes and basing your success off of them. Just focus on what you want and how to get there.

amother

Latte

Sat, Nov 12 2022, 11:40 pm

I don’t live in the magical world of Lakewood, but I am in NJ.
I have a Master’s Degree and I make $38 an hour.
This doesn’t not make me a loser, or stupid, or pathetic or anything else negative.

amother

Mocha

Sat, Nov 12 2022, 11:44 pm

Op, do you have enough parnassah?
Are you happy with your job?
Are you taking care of your family properly?
All that should matter to you.
What others are doing, how much they're making, how many children they have, should not.
And btw, someone who DOESN'T brag is way better than someone who does!