Lighting menorah on low table

Frumme

Sun, Dec 25 2022, 8:24 pm

Some people have a custom to light the menorah on a low table near a doorway, across from the mezuzah.

If you have this custom, do you still do it if you have young children around? Or do you light it somewhere higher until your children are of an age where they will not touch or knock over a fire?

Full disclosure, we do the latter. But this Chanukah (and previous years as well) I saw some of my friends with young children post pictures of their menorahs lit on low tables. To be quite honest, I am surprised to see that. What do you ladies think?

amother

Razzmatazz

Sun, Dec 25 2022, 8:27 pm

It depends on your kids. That's not our minhag but I have strict rules and my kids follow it, they can't stand near it, they can't jump in that room, they can only be there with an adult. My grandfather had that minhag and I remember as a young child when we went over we knew to stay far away and not touch. If they set rules and watch the babies carefully the whole time it's lit then I don't see the issue. It really depends on their kids and how on top of them they are.

Shoshana Rose

Sun, Dec 25 2022, 8:38 pm

we follow this minhag. how we do it? very simple, while lighting the candles, and first half hour we are all around. crawling babies, and or toddlers are carefully watched -strapped in high chair, or carriage if need be, well more often than not.

after we, the adults, leave that area, we put the menora on the table.

gr82no

Sun, Dec 25 2022, 8:45 pm

We light the menorah by the doorway. It is not so low- a bit lower than my waist but my toddler can reach it.
The first few days was hard, watched like a hawk constantly saying no touching. By fourth day my toddler knew already and of course we watched but he knew not to touch.
Only once was he strapped up but that was because we were eating supper anyway.

amother

Crocus

Sun, Dec 25 2022, 8:50 pm

We do this. We made a tape zone around the menorahs that no one is allowed to step inside of. We serve supper about an hour after lighting so the first half hour my husband held the toddler or put the toddler in a high chair with some big dreidels then there was a half hour of reminding him (18 months) not to step on the red tape and then was supper so he was in a high chair and then baths so he wasn't near the menorah. After the first 3 days though, we barely had to remind him to stay away, he really lost interest. My older kids (3-6) are old enough to stay out of the tape zone and my baby is a newborn so no issue there.

Frumme

Sun, Dec 25 2022, 9:14 pm

Thank you everyone. Maybe something to try next year. Honestly lighting by the window isn't bad nor wrong, and it's definitely nice to have it on the sill for any passersby to see, but I do want to eventually show my kids the custom of lighting by a doorway on a low-ish table.

So basically, it just comes down to watching the children very carefully (which is what I expected but didn't seem so practical). The tape is a smart idea, as is eating immediately after lighting, so it's a clearly delineated "no go" space and they hopefully get distracted with dinner (we have a low kid's table so the high chair thing wouldn't work in our situation)

hodeez

Sun, Dec 25 2022, 9:20 pm

This is our first year lighting on a low table. Kids 2 and older understand not to touch and aren't left unattended. 13 month old is held or put in high chair until bed time. All went smooth bh

Chayalle

Sun, Dec 25 2022, 9:25 pm

Funny. We always lit the Menorah on a higher table. This year, DH told me he wants to light on a lower table, it's more Mehudar. And being that our youngest is B"AH almost 15, it was not a big deal.

I imagine DH never brought it up when our kids were little, and I guess it just stuck for a long time that we lit on that higher table....and now he realized there's really no reason for that at present....

amother

Steel

Sun, Dec 25 2022, 9:26 pm

How do people light fires in fireplaces when they have kids? They let their kids know it's dangerous, they keep an eye on them, and they move on with life.

Some kids cannot be safe around a menorah on a low table, those kids you watch like a hawk. My current toddler despite lighting his own menorah has not needed a single reminder not to touch, throw, or run near the table.

Frumme

Sun, Dec 25 2022, 9:41 pm

amother Steel wrote:

Tbh easier said than done, especially if you have an early walker... In any case I think if you need a fireplace, it's usually a necessity. It's not a necessity to light the menorah on a low table

amother

Topaz

Sun, Dec 25 2022, 11:23 pm

We do this and we surrounded the area with chairs, especially when our twins were 10 months old.
Supper in high chairs is very convenient.
My husband sat near the candles for half hour and then we closed all possible entry.

amother

Babypink

Mon, Dec 26 2022, 2:34 am

I'm intrigued by these people who say they move the chanukiah after lighting it, because I sleays learnt that wasn't allowed. Last week I was in a shiur where he reviewed hilchot Chanukah, and he was very clear that נדלקה עושה מצווה, לא הנחה עושה מצווה - that the mitzvah is fulfilled when you light it, and it has to be lit in a place where you are fulfilling all the conditions of the mitzvah, not lit a d then moved to a more convenient place afterwards.

We light in a glass box outside anyway, but I'd be interested to hear other halachic veiws of moving the chanukiah after it is lit.

Mayflower

Mon, Dec 26 2022, 2:47 am

amother Babypink wrote:

We don't move the menorah but my understanding is that it's allowed after the half an hour has passed (ie once the mitzvah has been fulfilled).

We also light on a low table. The kids know not to go near it... Even my 20 mo DC stays clear. It can be a challenge to keep away a crawling baby - we try to keep babies in a high chair or on our lap (and after an hour or so it's usually baby's bed time so problem solved).

ChossidMom

Mon, Dec 26 2022, 4:32 am

Frumme wrote:

We always did it this way, even when the kids were small.
The REAL challenge was on Friday night, when my husband would light and leave for shul! But what we would do is move the entire low stool with the menorah into the room whose doorway it was lit in. Then we closed the door so the kids couldn't access it.

Elfrida

Mon, Dec 26 2022, 4:35 am

Iymnok wrote:

Why is a low table better?
It can’t be below 13 (or 3?) tefachim, so do you mean like a the height of a chair?

I think the point is that they want to light next to the door, and need something to stand the Chanukiya on. A regular table is large, and rather hard to move around, and depending on the shape of the room might block the door. A small table like a coffee table is easier to move around, but tends to be much lower.

amother

RosePink

Mon, Dec 26 2022, 4:40 am

This practice is intended for those who light outside. Obviously, the family goes indoors and the kids won't knock over the menorah.

If you are lighting indoors, you're probably better off lighting at a window, where there's a chance of pirsumei nisa.