If I opened my search to the entire US...

amother

Tan

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 1:29 pm

Kiwi13 wrote:

Please tell me more? How much is housing? What are the schools like? What's the community like?

I don’t know much about the schools because I lived there when I was single. Their housing is insanely cheap though and they have some of the best healthcare in the country.

amother

Lightgray

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 1:36 pm

Jacksonville fl

amother

Firebrick

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 1:37 pm

NY is going to have the best resources when it comes to support of any type whether going through divorce or special needs kids. The prices are dropping since people are leaving. Marine park is a great community definitely look at house prices to see if it makes sense.

My friend who has a different type of situation moved to a small town and due to the lack of support she struggled so much and now needs to uproot her family again and find something better. You need to make sure you can really be supported before you move again.

amother

DarkCyan

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 1:43 pm

Kiwi13 wrote:

And just so I can do a bit of homework on it, can someone in the know please tell me the border I should stick within for housing in Milwaukee?

Milwaukee does not have such great special ed services. And it’s a pretty right-wing community. The more left-wing communities are in more expensive neighborhoods.

But if you’re looking, the most affordable area is zip code 53216. From N 48th St up to N 55th-ish, and Burleigh St on the west to Nash St on the east. Basically.

If your kids are high special needs the frum school won’t be able to accommodate them, it’s a small school and doesn’t have a ton of resources. Possibly the Hillel can, but I don’t know. And it sounds like you’re getting divorced? The community is small and although it’s super friendly, warm, and welcoming, it doesn’t have a lot of resources for support, financial or otherwise.

Just want you to have all the facts. Hatzlacha!

amother

Narcissus

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 1:52 pm

soon to be ex husband

cupcake123

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 1:53 pm

amother DarkCyan wrote:

Milwaukee does not have such great special ed services. And it’s a pretty right-wing community. The more left-wing communities are in more expensive neighborhoods.
(What is an stbx?)

But if you’re looking, the most affordable area is zip code 53216. From N 48th St up to N 55th-ish, and Burleigh St on the west to Nash St on the east. Basically.

Soon to be ex

amother

Narcissus

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 2:02 pm

amother Firebrick wrote:

as someone who lives in Cincinnati unfortunately I agree. I know people who struggle here with services and I know people who moved to NY/NJ are in order to get services for their kids.

amother

Viola

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 2:31 pm

This is totally out of the box, but Overland Park, Kansas could be worth looking into. Real estate is REALLY cheap, and the people are SO Midwestern nice, accepting, and completely non-judgmental. Health care options there are excellent. I know nothing about special ed services there. The public schools there are phenomenal though.

The big downside is that the only school is a community day school that may not be up to your religious standards and requirements. If you're seriously interested after looking into it and have further questions, post and I will try to PM you.

St. Louis could be another option, with a much stronger and more established Jewish community still with the Midwestern friendliness, though I don't know about cost of living in the Jewish area. Definitely worth looking into.

mha3484

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 3:09 pm

amother Viola wrote:

This could work but its a red state so you will probably have lower income limits for Medicaid but I have relatives there the medical care is excellent. Its got a lower cost of living. People are super friendly. They have school choice now which would make sending your daughter to Jewish school easier but the special ed services may not be sufficient.

Kiwi13

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 3:25 pm

amother Chicory wrote:

What about Baltimore or Waterbury Connecticut? Are these communities your type?

From what I've heard, Baltimore would be great if I could find a way to afford it. I don't need a lot of space, I'd consider buying an apartment or condo. I'm wary of the public schools in the area, and worried that 2 of my children won't be able to attend private Jewish schools due to their special needs. I have a sister not too far from there and a few friends in the area, so it would be nice. A few people told me Baltimore has a lot of support for single mothers, so that's great. I would definitely look into it again.

I don't know much about Waterbury besides that their yeshiva put out a few very funny YouTube videos a while back. Seems like a wholesome, warm community from the little that I learned when I looked it up a few years ago. I don't know anything about the schools or house pricing nowadays. I kind of remember not liking the look of things when I did a Zillow search back then though... kind of urban looking, if I'm remembering correctly. Although Baltimore seems the same in some areas too, I think.

Do you know if these have the resources I need?

My still-husband is now insisting that schools are his most important factor and he is still shoving Milwaukee down my throat. I'm very hesitant. I don't think I'd fit in there from the little that I know about it. He says they have a special needs school and everything is free. I also don't know if that's true either. I'm not buying into the idea that schools are the only main factor to consider or even "the biggest factor." He wants me to sacrifice everything to make sure the kids are all in Jewish schools. I keep trying to explain that, while that's obviously ideal, it's not necessarily practical (at least in the short term). We need to prioritize life skills and upping the kids' chances of independent adulthood over information they can learn from us at home or through supplemental Jewish learning programs. Hopefully they'll be able to mainstream in a Jewish school eventually, but for one of them it's unlikely in the foreseeable future. Choosing a community needs to be a whole package, not a single factor decision.

My frontrunner is South Bend because it had the community type that I want, housing prices within my reach, a Jewish school for at least one of my kids, and public schools with decent resources (by Midwest standards - nothing beats NYS), supplemental learning programs, other single mothers who fit into the community fine and are happy there (I've spoken with two of them). I have family there. There's a mix in hashkafa, and my husband can live near the yeshivish end and I can live near the MO end and everyone gets alone fine, according to everyone I've spoken with.

I would consider other places, but it needs to be a whole package, not a single factor. I told my still-husband that if he want the kids in the day school he might have to self-pay 2 full-time aides. All of the sudden he was more accepting of public school and the idea of hiring a rebbe to teach the kids outside of school hours. I'm putting a hard stop to any plan with glaring problems. Rolling Eyes

Milwaukee might be great, but it's far away and a big unknown, and I DON'T FIT THE MOLD.* I need space to find myself again and heal from everything I've been through. I don't know what the end result will be, but I expect to be in flux for a while as I figure it out. I don't want to be judged on my outward appearance.

*Correct me if I'm wrong, Milwaukee imamothers....

Kiwi13

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 3:27 pm

amother Viola wrote:

How can I learn more about Overland Park, Kansas?

mha3484

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 3:28 pm

Tell him the only cities with Jewish special ed schools are Chicago, NY and NJ. If he wants it so badly he should pay his rent, yours and the tuition.

amother

Latte

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 3:30 pm

mha3484 wrote:

Tell him the only cities with Jewish special ed schools are Chicago, NY and NJ. If he wants it so badly he should pay his rent, yours and the tuition.

Baltimore, Miami, and I'm very sure there are others.

amother

Olive

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 3:32 pm

You really need people who know you wherever you decide to live.
It’s too hard to be completely alone.
You have to know at least SOMEONE who can look out for you and introduce you to the new community.
If you are not well emotionally and physically you just can’t do it to yourself.
It’s liberating to move far away and start all over but you can’t be alone. It’s not fair to you and your children.

mha3484

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 3:33 pm

amother Latte wrote:

Baltimore, Miami, and I'm very sure there are others.

Ive been on the frum fb groups for sped for a bunch of years. Special Frum moms has a lot of Baltimore women and the majority have their kids in a public school. I dont know anything about Florida.

amother

Latte

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 3:34 pm

Kiwi13 wrote:

100% Baltimore has Jewish schools for special ed. and some of our schools have special ed classrooms within the school. Baltimore City, you can get a home for 200k or under (also over, but a house on my block just sold for under 200k this year. And it was in great condition. The issue is, if you need public school, you don't want Balt. City, you'd want county.

I know South Bend and honestly that's where I would move if we ever leave Baltimore (I hope we never do!). I'm a chicagoan who practically grew up in Milwaukee... South Bend sounds great for you. It has everything you want and need. Maybe aside from the strong support for single moms. No one can beat baltimore in terms of their support for single moms.

amother

Olive

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 3:37 pm

There are top special ed schools in lakewood New Jersey.
There are also large yeshivas with self contained classrooms.
There is excellent government insurance.
There are small condos on the outskirts for $200,000.
Or small rentals on the outskirts for $1500.
Do you know anyone in lakewood?

Sebastian

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 3:38 pm

I would take a 2 br apt in marine park (btw 1500-2000) and move to nyc. Schooling is fantastic, your kids will get amazing services. Lots of resources for single moms. You can get snap and wic and masbia if you need extra help for food. You will be in the best area for medical care and healthcare is more affordable. There is no where in the country with better special ed services than nyc

amother

Viola

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 3:42 pm

Kiwi13 wrote:

How can I learn more about Overland Park, Kansas?

I would start here: https://www.biav.org/community.....park/

And don't underestimate St. Louis, which mha3484 also seconded. It's a big step up from Overland Park in many ways and may have the balance and critical mass you're seeking.

Kiwi13

Fri, Jan 27 2023, 3:47 pm

mha3484 wrote:

Tell him the only cities with Jewish special ed schools are Chicago, NY and NJ. If he wants it so badly he should pay his rent, yours and the tuition.

I agree, but he doesn't have that kind of money.