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Forum
-> Vacation and Traveling
amother
Hunter
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 8:35 am
I have a single dd in her 20s and she does overnight babysitting sometimes. She works full time so she can only do it for a couple who can make other arrangements for their kids while she's at work.
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amother
NeonGreen
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 9:42 am
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amother
Royalblue
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 10:52 am
IMO, I think it's very important for couples do go away together for a few days.
And Just like a phone battery needs to recharge, so do parents.
That being said, I don't either go because I have nowhere to leave them. Hopefully soon iyh when my kids are capable of staying home alone.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 10:56 am
amother Royalblue wrote: | IMO, I think it's very important for couples do go away together for a few days.
And Just like a phone battery needs to recharge, so do parents.
That being said, I don't either go because I have nowhere to leave them. Hopefully soon iyh when my kids are capable of staying home alone. |
This.
And I do know some people with many kids who do manage to do it. And I wonder how.
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amother
Burlywood
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 11:01 am
We simply don't.
I don't feel comfortable asking my parents or in laws to watch the kids, and they are too young to leave with a stranger - they would be miserable.
I would love to go with my kids but that would mean the vacation doubles in price (each additional ticket, hotel room, etc.) and we cannot afford it.
For now we make do with day trips - I'll take a day off of work and we'll spend time together.
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amother
Lightblue
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 11:13 am
I have a single friend who moves in for a few days. Otherwise I just wouldn’t go. We also take the kids on several trips a year.
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amother
Violet
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 11:44 am
The poeple I know who do it have no issue sending thier kids to their friends (my house, for ex) and to family. I wouldn't be able to do it because I feel bad for my kid and don't want to ask such a big favor of their friends' mothers.
The most we go away is 3 nights and even then, I don't leave a kid under 2. Most years we go away for a night or two and divide the kids to friends or family, a toddler will go to their babysitter, and if I have an under 2, they come along.
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amother
Obsidian
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:07 pm
I have one friend who does this but her parents and in laws divide her kids up. No one else I know does this. My parents might do it but I find it disruptive since my parents don’t live near school or daycare so it would be more trouble than it’s worth. We’ve done shabbosim and long weekend
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amother
Steelblue
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:15 pm
What’s the big deal? My kids love to go to friends.
They can choose a friend in their class and I get the task of calling their mom.
Am I the only one that doesn’t get the big deal about leaving kids with friends?
Sleepovers are fun for them too.
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amother
Carnation
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:17 pm
amother Steelblue wrote: | What’s the big deal? My kids love to go to friends.
They can choose a friend in their class and I get the task of calling their mom.
Am I the only one that doesn’t get the big deal about leaving kids with friends?
Sleepovers are fun for them too. |
It's a big favor to ask. Not all people are so excited to take responsibility for another person's child for several days, especially a young child who is not a relative.
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amother
Ivory
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:19 pm
amother Steelblue wrote: | What’s the big deal? My kids love to go to friends.
They can choose a friend in their class and I get the task of calling their mom.
Am I the only one that doesn’t get the big deal about leaving kids with friends?
Sleepovers are fun for them too. |
You ask a random mom of a kid in your kid’s class to have them for a week?
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mizle10
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:32 pm
I get an overnight babysitter. I’ve never left them for shabbos, usually Sunday-Wednesday or Thursday. I have full time help so the house is taken care of. I stock up on fun snacks and treats and supper is pizza, takeout or something I know will make them happy.
We also go away with the kids once a year so they don’t feel like were always leaving them to go on vacation by ourselves.
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amother
Darkblue
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:47 pm
We don't do this personally, but we have several family members who do- they either have parents or in laws who are willing to move in/take their kids for the week (or they insist upon it lol and so they do it), or that combined with already having a live in/full time babysitter or hire someone who moved in and takes care of kids combined with some help from family members.
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Busybee5
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:52 pm
My older kids go to my parents , my younger ones to my siblings/dh siblings.
And we take the youngest with us (probably 3 and under) we go away every year for max 4 nights. Usually 3 nights.
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rachelli66
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:54 pm
Went away once when my oldest was 10. My ADHD child (age 8) had an extremely hard time listening to other family members. Next time I was able to go away with DH is when children were grown.
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amother
Cantaloupe
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 1:01 pm
amother OP wrote: | DH and I would love to go away for a week once a year.
How do people do it while their kids are young? Where do you leave your kids if your siblings never go away and leave their kids with you?
I don't feel comfortable leaving with friends. |
Haven’t been away for 18 years. But many, many in my community do. They either divide kids amongst family or friends. Have parents move in, or leave an older kid to hold down the fort.
My oldest is 16 and I am still not comfortable leaving her alone.
(Kids aged 9-16) She tells me almost all her friends parents go away and they babysit. But it’s not for a week. Max 3 nights. I’m the paranoid mom that always jumps to worst case scenarios.
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amother
NeonOrange
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 1:02 pm
I do a getaway with friends, and dh does a getaway with his friends. That way, there's always a parent available to care for the kids.
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amother
Violet
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 1:05 pm
amother Ivory wrote: | You ask a random mom of a kid in your kid’s class to have them for a week? |
I get asked all the time and I find it weird. I try to help out when I can but I do see what it does to the kid and I cannot do it to mine for the same length of time. The moms reciprocate when I go away or have a baby but for less time than they send to me.
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amother
Scarlet
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 1:11 pm
We went away once when my oldest 2 were toddlers, a SIL was able to take them and we left for 2 nights. We have not been able to go away since. I do not have family that can take my children, I have 2 children with behavioral issues so sending them out would be very difficult. Friends here don't really do this. Everyone else has family that helps with this. I don't know I just have come to accept that hashem does not feel this is something I need (not that I agree )
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mizle10
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Sun, Jan 29 2023, 1:32 pm
amother Steelblue wrote: | What’s the big deal? My kids love to go to friends.
They can choose a friend in their class and I get the task of calling their mom.
Am I the only one that doesn’t get the big deal about leaving kids with friends?
Sleepovers are fun for them too. |
I would be very resentful if someone asked me if I can have their child move in for a week so they can go on vacation.
And yes, it is a big deal.
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