Can I make a bar mitzvah for under 25 k from a to z

amother

Bisque

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 11:59 am

amother Cognac wrote:

I wasn't trying to attack you. Yes, I did see that, but then you continued to comment, which is why I replied to your second post, not your first.
Regardless, some of your cost saving measures are circumstantial. If you have friends who cooked for your event, then it doesn't prove that you can make an event for $500 for 75 boys. It proves that you have good friends who were glad to donate their food and labor to your event. If you have a very small family, that doesn't help those with bigger immediate families save money. The tone of your posts make it sound like everyone can do what you did if they try hard enough. Without outside donations there is no way to make a proper meal for 75 boys for $500 anywhere in Lakewood. Even if you cook yourself which would mean you can't use most halls for your event.

I did not say anywhere that I made a seuda for 75 boys for $500. The seuda we made was for 30 boys and it was about $2000.
I mentioned my family size so it was in-line with the total I spent.

amother

Bisque

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 12:01 pm

amother Cognac wrote:

Sorry, I mixed up some details with the other poster who quoted her out of town costs. I mixed your two examples together.
Point is the same though since I wasn't talking to you in specific, just mentioning in general that OOT is not going to help Lakewooders.

Gotcha. And I know (that's why I did an ETA on my first post to say why I posted initially anyway). Just an interesting thing that I noticed, that it's cheaper sometimes to make something not in Lakewood! People seem to think it's cheaper by you. Smile

amother

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 3:19 pm

amother Bisque wrote:

She didn’t cater as much as I’d like to. I don’t want any stress. I work, dh works. I want a modest nice event but without doing the work involved. In Lakewood I could definitely do for under 10 k but I don’t want to work so hard. My goal is to save up to be able to outsource.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 3:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

We did a beautiful bar mitzva- my second one already for way under 10k. Prob abt 6-7k. I don’t have the exact breakdown right now but you can get a beautiful catered meal for about 3500, possibly including the hall or just an extra few hundred dollars for it. We had an amazing musician (I think about 500) plus singer (400), photographer (4 or 500)
no need for any major flowers just simple centerpieces that didn’t cost much but looked pretty.
We chose to only do a shabbos kiddush, lots of my friends do that so u don’t have the whole hassle and expense of catering shabbos- only my parents and grandparents came for the shabbos meals .
It was beautiful. I cld bH afford more, but absolutely no need for it.

amother

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:03 pm

amother Crimson wrote:

Our families are small and rarely spend time all together so I’m thinking it would be special. It would also be nice for dh to have his brothers (his father is no longer alive) and it feels weird to have his siblings not mine.

amother

Cherry

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ok.. so then it will cost you around $10k

amother

Cherry

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

10+10? 20 total?

Or 10 total?

You can do for 10k total unless you are doing lots of upgrades.
I only did centerpieces for the ladies. I really don’t think you need to spend 25k to make it nice. Maybe because o inflation you’ll spend an extra $1500?

amother

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 4:45 pm

amother Cherry wrote:

Inflation 🙈🙈🙈 ugh
Ok thanks this is very helpful

amother

Lavender

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 5:32 pm

Fwiw, my son's school here in lakewood doesn't allow friends to come to a weekday affair.

Based on the research I've done so far...
You can get catering in the range of 30/pp for a weekday affair.

Halls range in price from 600-1500, depending on how big and fancy.

keym

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 5:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

This is so great to know! On a recent thread ppp we’re even posting number closer to 50k 🙈

There are many affordable options for bar mitzvas.
Halls that do a decent job for the basic package without choosing to upgrade.
One man bands that make a leibedig Simcha for cheaper.
Gemachs for centerpieces for just the ladies.

I didn't weigh in on that thread a bit ago because the OP seemed to want to push for "balebatish" which is ok, but not my expertise.

I know that myself and many friends made bo bayoms in Bnos Devorah, Williams Street Shul, R Gissinger's Shul. With the in-house caterer. Tables, Chairs, mechitzas, microphones, a choice of 8 cloth tablecloth and napkin colors.
4000 (including taxes and fees) for 100 guests
It had a roll, pickles, Cole slaw, choice of 4 appetizers, choice of 4 mains, choice of 4 desserts, drinks, Simcha challa.
There were upgrade options also. But we chose not to.
And it was a beautiful bo Bayom.

My friend is doing Shabbos Seudos with a cheaper caterer in her Shul hall. 50 people (the caterer has a minimum) for 4000 (all 3 seudos. She chose to stay with disposable china and not upgrade) plus 400 for her shul hall.

The kiddush can be done beautifully with cake, cookies, kugel, drinks, and homemade salads and basic paper goods for 1500.

Gershon Bassmann has a one-man band Jr option. He trains teenagers and hires them out. Most of my kids friends had that as their band. Much cheaper. Just it doesn't work if the bar mitzvah is these 2 weeks around tu Bishvat (farhers) or the month of camp in the summer.

amother

Taupe

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 5:44 pm

I'm in the planning stages too & trying to understand the shabbos hosting. Are you hosting your family for shabbos in addition to the bar mitzva? I thought a shabbos kiddush + bar mitzva is already more than necessary, didn't think I need to host oot family. Is this the norm?

We don't have any family walking distance.

amother

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 6:02 pm

amother Taupe wrote:

I think it’s up to you! I have a small family so I would ask neighbors to host that Shabbos (I’ve done it for neighbors).

amother

Cherry

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 6:21 pm

amother Taupe wrote:

You don’t have to do a whole shabbos. I thought about it and realized that it would just be too much for me to host everyone and find sleeping accommodations. Instead I made a beautiful kiddush and spent a little more than I probably would have for the weeknight event. For shabbos we just had grandparents over. The kiddush in shul was very nice. I made sure that the weeknight affair was to my son’s liking with music, a photographer, good food, a small sweet table ..etc. I might have spent a little less if I would have catered shabbos meals.. In lakewood classmates don’t come so I let him invite neighbors, and he had some cousins close in age. We sent in donuts for his class… all in all he was very happy and felt that it was a very chashuv event.

keym

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 6:26 pm

amother Taupe wrote:

Depends how far OOT and when the bar mitzvah is.
We have close family a plane ride away and a bo Bayom Thurs night. It was assumed that anyone who would come in would stay over Shabbos because it's not really doable otherwise.
Once we were having some family staying by us for Shabbos, we told our local family that if they can find places near us to sleep, we'd love for them to join for the seudos.

amother

Bronze

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 6:26 pm

I live in Lakewood.

Here was my breakdown
New sheitel for me , 2k
New suit for husband and two sons 250x3
Pants, shoes, shirts, hats, ties, glasses etc $1000
Clothing for my daughters approx $600
Makeup for me two times $200
Photographer $400
Tefillin for son ..not sure of exact amount..at least 2k
Donuts 100
School bar mitzvah 400
Night affair, including food, music, party planner, waiters 4k
(I got tablecloths and centerpieces from Gmach)
Shabbos did in my house for 40 ppl..I cooked a lot , sisters helped..don’t know amounts.
Kiddish was very basic..don’t know how much..maybe a few hundred dollars

Prob other expenses I’m not remembering now

This is about 12,000 and it was beautiful

Don’t see why you can’t do for 25k or under