Are we not earning enough or spending too much???

amother

Steelblue

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 6:03 pm

in my large oot community if you are making under 200k you should qualify for a tuition break. You SHOULD be saving money for retirement. If you are not living extravagantly . and a small vacation isn't held against you afaik in my experience, you could still qualify for a tuition break. and before everyone jumps down my throat, realize that anyone paying full tuition is already footing the bill for others. if they ask for a break they may be lowered a little - not that others will need to cover their kids tuition- but lowered enough that they are paying for the COST of their kids without footing the bills for others getting big breaks. this is my opinion and I know there are people who don't ask for a break for anything but when the system is set up the way it is, asking for a break may just mean you aren't paying the "extra" that goes towards others tuition breaks. and you SHOULD be saving for retirement and if you dont have anything leftover for that, you should ask for a break.

amother

Outerspace

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 8:11 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

Dallas Texas, but I am sure other places as well
These two homes are similar to each other, near each other.

One for sale, asking 350k
One for rent asking 3.3k a month

https://www.zillow.com/homedet.....zpid/
https://www.zillow.com/homedet.....zpid/

I the rental one is slightly nicer, but it is probably possible to get the property for drop less, put in some money and get similar rent.

I wouldn't take a mortgage on a property like that, because if you already aren't making it and you get stuck for few months without renters, you are screwed.

But if you can downsize/move and have that kind of cash left over, it can be a really good way to create passive income. Then as the years go buy, and you start having equity, you can take helloc's out and buy more property.

I don;t think its possible to live in the states, and raise a frum family, on a regular salary anymore ( even professionals). Its either a business or a job + side job, or a job + passive income.

That house for sale is very unusual for Dallas, the prices here are crazy. I recently bought a 3
Bedroom house and my mortgage is nearly $4k a month.

amother

Stonewash

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 8:21 pm

OP- I am in the same boat, except that I have 4 kids not 7, and get a small tuition discount. We live out of town where tuition is 15k per kid and we pay about 13k per kid. I cannot figure out where our money is bleeding to!!!
Here are my stats:
$3900 per month tuition
$2100 mortgage (BH! this could be way worse if we didnt buy our house when we did)
$1000 playgroup plus babysitting
This doesn't include summers, which is a different and more expensive form of childcare/camps etc
This alone comes out to 70k. Then there's all bills, 2 car payments, camp, food, gas, clothing (I buy my kids one full price item for YT and then they use their stuff from the previous season until the sales start and I get them whatever else they need at 60% off)
Haven't bought a shaitel in 4 years
Husband hasn't bought a new suit or hat in 3 years
Haven't gotten jewelry or any substantial gift since I was a newlywed over 10 years ago
we have never once been on ANY vacation, not even for one night.
We do spend some yomim tovim with family that require travel but we generally use miles for this.
BH all healthcare and benefits are included in our salary for a deeply discounted premium from our paychecks.
And thats it!
We make about 200 before taxes so take home is probably about 150k between the 2 of us and about a year ago we stopped making it through the month, stopped saving, used savings, and have slowly started racking up credit card debt. In the last year we accumulated 15k in credit card debt. Makes me want to cry since we both work full time jobs, cant do more, and don't know where we can cut corners.
It scares me a lot that in a few short years we'll have big expenses, imyh bar mitzvah and god willing wedding. Other stuff. And I have no clue how we'll pay for it. We don't have anyone to borrow from, our parents don't have anything to lend us even in an emergency.

amother

Amber

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 8:28 pm

amother Stonewash wrote:

Hugs OP!
I'm in a very similar situation except we're already into the bar mitzvah and wedding stage.

How did we do it? For one thing our simchas are substantially simpler than my kids peers and same age cousins. It's hard but I try not to focus on what other people do and how they spend their money.

I can hold my head up high knowing that I am doing my hishtadlus, working hard at a respectable job, contributing to the community, and I don't have to feel ashamed of my financial situation.

We're already drowning in CC debt and it will take a miracle. I started a program that would allow me to work at a much higher rate than I earn now but had to stop in middle because I can't afford to take off work to complete the clinical hours. Still open to whatever Hashem has in store for us...