Wedding dresser | Imamother

amother

Geranium

Mon, Apr 17 2023, 9:22 pm

amother Peru wrote:

It's not a ridiculous role at all. For certain people/situations, it's very important and the only way they manage the wedding day. Just because you may not understand it, doesn't make it ridiculous.

Please. What did people do 10 years ago before this became a thing?

GLUE

Mon, Apr 17 2023, 9:27 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

Please. What did people do 10 years ago before this became a thing?

I read about this around 10-12 years ago in one of the
"Lets raise the standard of living rags" AKA Jewish magazines

Is it a necessity? I think it depends on were you are coming from.

amother

Geranium

Mon, Apr 17 2023, 9:30 pm

GLUE wrote:

I read about this around 10-12 years ago in one of the
"Lets raise the standard of living rags" AKA Jewish magazines

Is it a necessity? I think it depends on were you are coming from.

I don’t think anyone will say it’s a necessity. It’s clearly a luxury. Again, good for them.

amother

IndianRed

Mon, Apr 17 2023, 9:31 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

Please. What did people do 10 years ago before this became a thing?

Families are bigger now and ppl are less of martyrs...

For some families like ours where there is a special needs or hard to manage kids this is the answer.

Or consider the fact that people are marrying off at older ages... So not always is a mom available to be there for the kallah

If it works for you and your family to manage without one, be grateful. But don't be quick to judge.

amother

Lightgray

Mon, Apr 17 2023, 9:35 pm

My family is very privileged to have a close family friend who is
A - available to take off a day work when my parents married off a child
B - has a car
C - interested in taking on this task

Of course, if this friend wasn't available, we'd manage without a wedding dresser, but I can see it being a nice indulgence to make things go smoothly.

The day of the wedding, there is lots of back and forth from the hall, little kids who need food at random times, sometimes there are elderly relatives coming in who need a welcome committee before the baalei Simcha are 100% ready. Someone to make sure kallah gets to her pictures on time and who also makes sure everyone else is on hand for whenever the photographer needs them.

Again. It's not necessary. And it's lovely if you have someone close to the family who can do this just because (have you ever done this to help someone else?) But for people with a large/young-kid/complicated needs family, it can make things so much easier.

amother

Peru

Mon, Apr 17 2023, 9:37 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

Please. What did people do 10 years ago before this became a thing?

It was a thing 20 years ago already.
People also have bigger families now and more younger kids & babies when they start marrying off kids. Before it became a "thing", it was common for the grandmothers and aunts of the kallah to spend the day at the home of the kallah and help out the day of the wedding. It's still common in certain circles. Even back in the shtetels, the wedding prep for the kallah and family was an extended family & neighbors affair.

mushkamothers

Mon, Apr 17 2023, 10:47 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

Please. What did people do 10 years ago before this became a thing?

It's kind of like a maid of honor. But not everyone has a friend who can/will do that. I had one aunt shove people into my face to dance with so that no relatives get offended - by other weddings, I had to be that person for someone else because no one else was doing it. People don't think of these things.

If you don't assign a friend to do the shtick, and a friend to bring water and fan the kallah, and a friend to hold the jewelry or bouquet for you under the chuppah, or a friend (or hairdresser) to switch the veil or change the updo etc... if you're not like me, who prepared scissors, tylenol, bandaids, safety pins and I don't even remember what else and kept it in the kallah room... then it doesn't get done. (edit and how about a friend to be with you while you take your kallah pics! I did that for one friend bc she needed a shomer and I kept her laughing, she told me that the only pics she liked were those. not every photographer will tell you to move that piece of hair like a girl will!)

This really takes a lot of forethought or foreplanning, or an extended network. Not everyone thinks of it or has it. People plan the menu and the flowers and forget to actually direct the day, and these tasks slip between the cracks of a party planner / your makeup or hair stylist / the hall manager who moves the schedule along.

I saw a wedding dresser in action and thought it was great.

Last edited by mushkamothers on Mon, Apr 17 2023, 11:06 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Tiffanyblue

Mon, Apr 17 2023, 11:08 pm

I don’t have lots of girls, so I didn’t hire a dresser for DS’s wedding.

DD10’s shell was left at the dressmaker by mistake! It would’ve been so helpful to have someone make sure everything is in order, once we’re already spending thousands on photography and gowns! BH the dressmaker was home, I asked a friend to spend 1.5 hours running to get it, and photos were delayed…

amother

Opal

Tue, Apr 18 2023, 2:41 pm

I'm in the hair and makeup industry and it's a very useful luxury. Definitely not a necessity but it does help things run smoother.
The real experienced ones have a full kit and are prepared for almost anything. They're also usually on buddy terms with hall managers which comes in handy. I've seen this 1st hand.
I was doing a wedding where the dresser was newer and the hall manager was getting very irritated from her. It wasn't very nice of the manager obviously but it helps when they're familiar.
Also make sure personality suits your needs. A different wedding I was working at, the dresser had a very loud abrasive personality and it really did nothing to enhance the simcha or the kallahs peace of mind.
So beware.

What did people do without dressers? Usually a good friend or sister of the mechateneste volunteers to help out. But I understand not everyone can have that.

Can't comment on the price, everyone charges what they feel their time and experience is worth and what people are willing to pay.

amother

Darkblue

Tue, Apr 18 2023, 5:02 pm

I've never made a wedding but after my last bris I said I totally see the benefit of this, I actually would have loved a bris dresser the morning of my sons bris.
I have a bunch of older tween and teen girls as well as a a few rowdy boys in the 5-10yr age, dh was in shul obviously and I needed to get e1 ready and out the door early morning. Every one of my girls had a wardrobe malfunction be it a broken zipper, a new dress that the dressmaker had forgotten to alter and left pins in, a tangled neclace that she insisted on wearing, my boys were being boys and running around half dressed, and I had a newborn baby. It was complete mayhem. I ended up calling sister begging her to come help. I was upset I hadn't thought to ask her earlier because it took her a while to get to me.

Ema of 5

Tue, Apr 18 2023, 5:13 pm

GLUE wrote:

I read about this around 10-12 years ago in one of the
"Lets raise the standard of living rags" AKA Jewish magazines

Is it a necessity? I think it depends on were you are coming from.

Ok, so 15 or 20 years ago? It’s something that someone wanted to do, and found a way to charge for it, and it caught in and became a thing. It is not necessary.

amother

Wallflower

Tue, Apr 18 2023, 5:14 pm

amother Darkblue wrote:

I hug you because I also just made a Bris and a Bris dresser would have been very helpful.