If you serve only challah, dips, and cholent for lunch

amother

Diamond

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:11 am

Why do people take away the challah and dips? That’s the type of thing that I think should stay on the table for the whole meal, unless you really have no room for the other foods.

deena19k

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:12 am

amother Gray wrote:

My typical shabbos lunch with guests is challah, dips, salmon, gefilte, eggplant salad, cauliflower salad, hearts of palm salad, a lettuce salad, a charcuterie board which is filled with shnitzel, meat, grilled chicken, deli and sometimes lachmajine or Moroccan cigars, and of course Chulent. When we don’t have guests I skip the meat and maybe one salad.
Always. And I’m still always scared that I don’t have enough
I agree with OP

No offense, but I actually think thats an insane amount of food. That must be crazy expensive. If I served a menu like that, Id never be able to afford to have guests. I agree just chulent isnt enough, but theres gotta be a happy medium without going to the opposite extreme.

amother

Coral

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:20 am

amother Diamond wrote:

Why do people take away the challah and dips? That’s the type of thing that I think should stay on the table for the whole meal, unless you really have no room for the other foods.

I don't have physical room on the table for all the dips and all the parts of the main course. Also my glass containers go from the fridge straight to the table, and I like to keep them parive so I can use up extra of the dips throughout the week with different meals

Ema of 5

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:20 am

amother Dandelion wrote:

Whatever happened to "when you're a guest, you eat what you're served and you leave your pickiness at home?". Don't like cholent? Eat it anyway. It won't kill you to eat something you don't like. If your medical condition imposes dietary restrictions, it's your responsibility to let your host know, not your host's responsibility to gaze into a crystal ball and divine it. Nor is it the host's responsibility to provide a broad array of foods in the hopes of hitting upon something that suits your picky taste.

What if there is something in it that you can’t eat? And that is the only thing at the meal? It might not kill you, but it might hurt you.
As a host, it is YOUR responsibility to make sure that your guests are fed. That means you need to provide options. Yes, if there are restrictions the guest must let the host know, but just like the host doesn’t have a crystal ball, neither does the guest. Unless you tell them prior what your menu will be, they have no way of knowing. It’s unfair to have guests and not provide them with something they can eat.

amother

Caramel

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:22 am

When it’s just my nuclear family, I serve chulent and salad and dessert. If I have company I’ll make fish and salads (at least two, types vary) and chulent and kishka and some other meat (usually schnitzel but could be deli) and dessert. I ask if ppl will eat fish (answers vary) and will or won’t serve it. If I go somewhere I always ask what to bring and it works out well since I have picky eaters BH. I don’t buy dips usually and everything is homemade. Where I live the shul has a big kiddush every week so no one is hungry for lunch.
In all honesty, rather obnoxious to invite yourself to someone and then tell them they don’t have enough food. No one forced you to go there. And I hope if someone invites you, you don’t tell them to have enough food. Maybe you eat more than a typical person? How would you feel if someone tells you you eat too much?

Bnei Berak 10

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:32 am

LovesHashem wrote:

Fine. Have one main. But serve sides! I've been places for shabbos where I went hungry because I don't like cholent and there was just challah and dips and then cholent and that was it.

Now I make sure to inform the hosts that I don't like cholent.

What is the point in informing the host you don't like Cholent?

writinggirl

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:35 am

This belongs in a separate thread, but I would also appreciate if guests would always let me know if they have any dietary restrictions. I understand that they don’t want to inconvenience me, but I am happy to make sure there are foods at the table they could eat. One shabbos, my sister and a friend came for a meal. I didn’t know her friend was gluten free until she showed up at my house 20 minutes before shabbos to drop off special challah. I was so upset. I had worked so hard and made dishes like chicken wrapped in puff pastry and mini apple cherry crisps, while really it would have been easy to make plain grilled chicken instead and a kugel without gluten so she could have had options. I had even planned a salad with a crunch made from breadcrumbs… It was so hard to watch her unable to eat anything and took a lot of the pleasure out of being the hostess.

amother

Amber

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:35 am

amother Orange wrote:

Cholent is mens food. You don't serve that to female guests. How hard is it to make a salad?

This will go on the "most bizarre thing you read about on imamother" thread.

To answer op, I think there's a happy medium. The host doesn't need to cater to everyone's whims especially if the guest hasn't made any special requests ahead of time. However the host should have sufficient quantities so there is some left over & maybe have 1 alternative options & definitely leave chalah on the table (I place on plastic bag so it stays parve). Guests should take cues from the host family weather chalah is a course.

Bnei Berak 10

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:38 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

It’s socially off to invite people and not serve food

ITA
That said I strongly believe a home isn't a restaurant.
It's got to be a middle ground, right?

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:40 am

LovesHashem wrote:

OK, in my opinion, you dont tell your host you dont like what they are serving. I mean, how does that work? You get there and say "Oh, I dont eat that"? THATS very rude. My husband does not do chulent. We never make it at home. But we have been guests at homes where that is all there is and some salads. He ate the chulent.
Nobody is going to someone's house as guests for the food.

As for dips with challah, we didnt grow up with any dips. It was challah and straight to gefilte. But now my parents have a whole course of dips. When my husband and I go there, we sit quietly and have some challah and wait for the main course. Its not such a big deal to just wait.

And Ive left being a guest to go home and have to eat a meal because I didnt like what they served or there was not enough. Its not the end of the world. Really.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:42 am

amother Orange wrote:

Cholent is mens food. You don't serve that to female guests. How hard is it to make a salad?

Huh? SOoooooo many women and girls I know LOOOOOOVE chulent. What a very silly thing to say. And there are men out there, shockers, I know Smile

that do not life chulent and dont eat it.

Bnei Berak 10

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:42 am

amother Caramel wrote:

You mention huge kiddush. AFAIK one is supposed to come with appetite to the meal.

mommy3b2c

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:44 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

No tomatoes, but that is a LOOOT of food. Nobody we have ever been guests at have served so much food.
Not everyone does fish. Some fo dips. Some do no first coursr. Nothing wrong. Different strokes for different folks.
And so many basari choices, thats also a personal preference. Not everyone does that.

I think its fine to serve one main dish. But you have to have enough of it to go around.

It doesn’t need to be EVERYTHING. But there should be variety. It’s off to serve challah, dips and Cholent .

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:44 am

amother Gray wrote:

OK, different crowds. I dont know anyone in my real life world, now or growing up, who ever would serve that much food, guests or not. To me, thats just toooo much food. And not needed. But thats my norm.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:47 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

It doesn’t need to be EVERYTHING. But there should be variety. It’s off to serve challah, dips and Cholent .

We dont do chulent and we dont do dips either. We do challah, chicken, some salads and sometimes a carb. Thats it. Nobody has ever said anything is lacking or anything of the sorts.
We have one main course dish. I dont think its off. Or is it the fact that that main course dish is chulent that is its off?

amother

Amber

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:50 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Same, & I live in NY.

tichellady

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:50 am

I think people should be clear about what is being served. " we are having this salad and fish course and then there will be cholent and roasted veggies followed by dessert etc." so people can plan accordingly when making their plate. I try to do this when I host or serve everthing all at once

Bnei Berak 10

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:51 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Not the end of the world but far from pleasant. I would prefer not to be reinvited to them.

gold2

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:52 am

I also don't like some of the foods which hosts have served me but I would kvetch to my husband afterwards if I need to, I wouldn't make a PSA on here.

I have found myself leaving meals hungry and the hostess even told me that her daughter told her she is too stingy with the food but she said that she doesn't like leftovers. I agreed with the daughter but wouldn't say anything, it was nice of them to invite me it's not a paid hotel

Wondering if anyone is like me and doesn't like taking seconds because they might want to keep their leftovers?? (esp when husband says to his wife 'oh we'll have that chicken for sunday') lol