I hate that cooking is my job

amother

Sapphire

Thu, May 25 2023, 1:30 am

In the earlier years, I used to enjoy cooking and try new recipes but Dan and I had to get kind of burned out. I’ve been a stay at home mom all these years now my kids are big, so really don’t have an excuse not to make nice food. I mean I do make nice food but I don’t make anything complicated. I get the magazines and see the recipes and it’s just not for me. Thankfully my family is OK with simpler meals and I don’t make anything fancy. Everyone still want to try something new been cooking simpler for the past couple years but maybe I will decide to do more complicated things. I do spend money on better cut of meat some thing, so I feel like without simpler still OK. I should be cooking because I’m in Israel and I haven’t started but I’m just sitting here having my coffee not motivated to get going.

imaima

Thu, May 25 2023, 1:34 am

amother OP wrote:

Really hate cooking. I’m the one working PT and home much more so cooking is on me. I simply hate the job. But my family must eat dinners and shabbas and Yom tov. I don’t want to be the mom who serves frozen pizza or fish sticks or cereal for dinner after a long school day. Especially that I have the available hours to cook. It bothers me that I really don’t enjoy this task and that I have to do it for the next few decades. I’m literally jealous of those who love to cook because they prepare food for their family so happily and I do it only because I must and wish that no one would need it. Thoughts?
ETA the shopping and cleaning I delegate. Still the actual cooking is a pain for me.

Yes.
It is a struggle

amother

Gladiolus

Thu, May 25 2023, 1:36 am

happy chick wrote:

Hate cooking with a passion. Hate. Hate. Hate.

I do enjoy baking, I wish I could serve my kids cakes and pastries for dinner, shabbos and yt. Lol

I don’t mind cooking (don’t love it though), but I hate baking! Don’t know why, I find it much more annoying. My daughters would be thrilled to bake all the time but I get left with the dishes…

LovesHashem

Thu, May 25 2023, 2:14 am

Flip Flops wrote:

Love cooking but don't like the pressure of having to make dinner each night, and Shabbos each week. I wish I could cook more at my own leisure.

Same. Also I love cooking but not the cleanup. I'm really slow in the kitchen so it's hard when I have to do cleanup and when things need to be ready at a certain time -
(like meals)

amother

Bottlebrush

Thu, May 25 2023, 3:05 am

Dear OP

Make very simple meals. Pasta salad, couscous salad,jacket potatoes with tuna mayo etc these types of meals are very easy in terms of prep and very nutritious.
We make things too complicated in our culture. Food does not have to be complicated to be good and nutritious. You can feed your family very well with simple recipes, like 5 min prep time. We do not have to spend hours in the kitchen to provide good meals.
You could also invest in a slow cooker where you prep very minimally and leave it to cook over time. You can make delicious meals like this.

Good luck

SuperWify

Thu, May 25 2023, 3:11 am

I love cooking and trying new things. Yom Tov cooking is fun for me because when we have guests I get to experiment.

What I don’t like:

Making kids lunch when they’re home. Making dinners every single night. Making the same Shabbos food all the time.

That’s just boring. And it’s just another chore.

essie14

Thu, May 25 2023, 3:49 am

I enjoy cooking and I enjoy that my family likes my food.
What I don't enjoy is the mental load of making the menu and the shopping list, and going shopping for the ingredients and having to pivot at the last minute if the ingredients I need aren't available (many times the store would be out of chicken or some other essentials).

My family is too big to cook double and freeze except for certain things like meatballs, which I do.

I do use the crockpot for weeknight suppers once or twice a month.

We also have fancy deli sandwiches with lots of add ins about twice a month (not cheap but I don't have to cook anything!)

I have a kid who likes to cook but he only likes expensive, experimental recipes which require lots of pots and pans and I also have clean up from so it's not really a help.

My kids need a lot of variety or else they complain so I can't just cook the same thing every week.

They don't really care for dairy, I'll make it like maybe 4 times a year for dinner.

And there's always take out when I'm too busy.

DH works more than full time so I can't really rely on him for weekday cooking help, although he will assist for shabbat and chag if I need him.

amother

Peachpuff

Thu, May 25 2023, 3:51 am

I don't enjoy cooking even though I'm pretty decent at it. I'm the parent who is home the most so weeknight dinners and cooking for Shabbos usually falls to me. DH is in charge of Sunday dinners, all the baking, and anything that's a pachke that can be made ahead. Oh, and DH and teenage DD take turns cooking their lunches for the week. For Shavuos DH made all the soups and desserts and dairy items and I am in charge of meat, fish, chicken, veggies, and simple sides. I am thrilled not to have to cook everything!

DVOM

Thu, May 25 2023, 4:42 am

I totally get you OP!

I actually really enjoy cooking, but the daily, weekly repetitive responsibility isn't fun. I think I'd enjoy it more if my family were adventurous eaters and I could do more experimenting, but they're not.

Something that really helps: Teach your kids to cook, and just as important, make sure they know how to clean up after themselves fully and completely.

My oldest 2 sons (15 & 12) each cook dinner once a week. It's nothing fancy, but they do a great job and take a lot of pride in it.

amother

Ivory

Thu, May 25 2023, 5:43 am

amother Peachpuff wrote:

It's funny that you say your DH bakes. I've been watching a lot of male chefs on YouTube, and their cooking style is so different. As women, we (or at least I) tend to cook/bake by feel. 1 cup of flour? Sure, could be a pinch less or a pinch more. But men are so much more precise. They'll pull out the rulers and scales and give so much more attention to technical details. That's probably why most professional chefs are men.

ETA: The opposite is also true with female professional chefs, with the exception, perhaps, of Claire Saffitz.

amother

Sand

Thu, May 25 2023, 8:12 am

I was just reading this book on medieval Jewish cooking and it seems like using the stove/heat source to cook a hot meal every day was really not a given at all for common folk- from Mishnaic times down through modernity; they made do with 'pulse'- lots of cereal/grain/carbs eating cold, room temp.

I think it's also a sensory thing- for sure for me it is- the raw chicken, the washing and peeling, the mess on a daily basis...

Putting that together- I make a hot dinner (shnitzel and rice, bottoms and potatoes) twice a week, and the rest of the week is more breakfast-for-dinner tye- salmon and broccoli in betty crocker, eggs and baguettes, and once a week a 'junky' supper- ziti, pizza, or chicken nuggets etc.

Shabbos is literally chulent eggs fish and grilled baby chicken with pesto if I'm in the mood and fresh salad on shabbos. I buy everything else- challah, dips, coleslaw type salads, kugel, grilled veggies.

I keep lots of baby wipes, clorox wipes in kitchen and I clean as I go so I don't get 'itchy' from the mess and wet... and I use 9x13 and lots of plastic when prepping. Works for me!

You do you!

LovesHashem

Thu, May 25 2023, 9:59 am

amother Sand wrote:

Although it's a lot of work I actually love shabbos cooking. I love shabbos food and it's something to look forward to, making shabbos special. I make as much as I can at home mainly because takeout food is expensive and most of it isn't really as good as homemade. Sometimes we get some salatim and Tchina, and rice from a good takeout place. Anything else from takeout places just are subpar.

LovesHashem

Thu, May 25 2023, 10:03 am

essie14 wrote:

Yesss. Dh did the shopping up until recently when his schedule changed. I hate it so much.

keym

Thu, May 25 2023, 10:26 am

I don't mind cooking in theory.

What gets to me is
1) the pressure of every single day. You can decide not to wash dishes one day or not to do laundry, but you can't just decide that the family won't eat.
2) my kids are not adventurous eaters, plus we have multiple allergies so I have to make a lot of multiple things. And all the joy of experimentation is absent because I know the likelihood is that they won't like it.
3) the whole burden of menu planning, shopping, prepping, cleaning.

I know people suggest teens cooking, and my teens help for Yom Tov and such.
But I can't figure out the logistics when my daughter walks in the door at 5:45pm starving.
Your teens prep supper at 8pm and you warm it up the next day?

amother

Cognac

Thu, May 25 2023, 10:44 am

Fake it!! Teach your sons and daughters (either now or as they get older) to enjoy being in the kitchen! Teach them easy things like 1 pan chicken and rice. Watch with them video's like Kosher.com. Take them along with you shopping. Fake it now. When they are ready they will take over the kitchen.