Liz | Imamother

amother

Lightpink

Sun, Aug 06 2023, 5:46 pm

amother NeonPink wrote:

Depends how frum you are and what school
If you’re asking that means it’s questionable in your circles
I always learned ‘a sheila is treif’
If you have to ask a sheila it’s most probably not allowed

There is no halacha against this.

It's just a matter of social conventions and fitting in.

When I grew up, almost everybody in my very frum BYschool had secular names. No, we didn't go by them, for the most part (though there were definitely a few Debbies or Beckies or the like) but when we got older and went to college/started working outside of the frum world, many started using their legal names professionally. (And while some of us had names like "Hannah" for Chana, plenty had just plain regular secular names that their parents chose because they liked them and were not the English form of their Hebrew name. There may even have been an Elizabeth or two, lol.) Interestingly, a lot of our parents went by their secular names, though as they got older they switched to their Hebrew names. I can think of many of my parents' friends who were refRerred to as "Jerry" or "Ruthie" or whatnot by their childhood friends, but everyone else knew them by "Yehoshua" or "Rivka."

Now, when many of those in my generation were having families, we reversed the trend and stuck to Hebrew names for legal purposes as well. For whatever the reason, the pendulum is swinging the other way. I do know young parents who are giving their kids names that could be either or else a nickname for a Hebrew name that sounds secular. This may not be the trend in Lakewood, but it definitely is not uncommon in other frum communities (yeshivish lite, for sure).

I was speaking to an older relative about this recently, and he said that when people feel less insecure about antisemtism, that's when they stick to Hebrew names. When things start to get shaky, they go back to making sure their child has a secular name. I think there is a lot of truth to this.

amother

Dandelion

Sun, Aug 06 2023, 6:21 pm

amother NeonPink wrote:

What a terrible thing to learn!!
A good rav knows how to pasken. A layman will just say it’s all assur because they don’t understand enough