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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
Bnei Berak 10
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Sun, Aug 20 2023, 11:52 am
amother Antiquewhite wrote: | I've had so many of these happen, but I most often really enjoy time with my guests. That said:
1. A guest, a relative I usually really enjoy shmoozing with, said they feel really tired so barely made any appearances. I had 0 chance to talk to them. Yet the minute havdala was over, they said they are traveling to the city for a get-together with another friend. Sure they rested up by me for their evening out with someone else. Ouch.
2. A guest's kid peed in the bed Friday night. I could have easily put a protective cover on the bed if I knew it was a chance. Anyhow, they forgot to tell me until the next day as I was stripping linen to wash. The room stank to high heaven. It was a room I don't otherwise use.
3. Leaving wrappers in our guest suite when we specifically request they don't eat down there. We always keep lots of healthy/unhealthy snacks and drinks around and tell them to help themselves. In the kitchen or dining room.
4. Agreed about hating when they pick out all the meat from the chulent. And I put in tons when I have guests. A great big piece or two of flanken pulled into chunks. Since I am the last to the table, I often get none. And others' plated are mostly meat.
5. Hate when guests let their little ones run around very very early in the morning without supervision.
6. Had the kids of a family once show up to say one parent wasn't feeling well so neither will be coming and they (the kids) are going to their friends instead of us. A big waste of food for this family of 7 that didn't eat by us. They never called afterwards either.
7. We have several really really good friends that are terribly late arrivers. I mean hours. So we wait a while and then start. It is always awkward when they come apologizing but we really can't wait 2 hours for them. And we are not early eaters. We usually eat at 12. They have come after 2. Once they said they napped first. How nice for them. |
How about plating the meat? The beans and potatoes they can serve themselves.
How about a written note in room 'no eating please, only I kitchen'. Make sure the host for the simcha informs her guests in advance.
Tell the guests they need to supervise their kids in the early morning. You provide accommodation but not supervising or babysitting.
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amother
Aubergine
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Sun, Aug 20 2023, 11:59 am
I had a guest invite themselves last minute, with a bunch of people. I scrambled to make extra food, went to the store to pick extra stuff up ect. They ended up going to a kiddish, showed up super late and didn't eat anything:( To say I was upset is an understatement.
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amother
Wine
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Sun, Aug 20 2023, 12:01 pm
amother Chestnut wrote: | Good ideas! As a guest I only strip linen if there's a sign |
It's so funny because there are such different opinions about this.
Personally my guest rooms are out of the way and I wish people would strip because I find it exhausting enough to make the beds again.
However I feel really uncomfortable asking someone to strip the bed because what if I have an elderly guest and they just can't do it?
So really it makes the most sense for a guest to ask her Hostess either at the beginning or at the end, but I would probably say at the beginning because you don't always see people when you leave, 'when I leave do you prefer if I make the beds or strip the linen'?
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Golde
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Sun, Aug 20 2023, 1:14 pm
amother Wine wrote: |
So really it makes the most sense for a guest to ask her Hostess either at the beginning or at the end, but I would probably say at the beginning because you don't always see people when you leave, 'when I leave do you prefer if I make the beds or strip the linen'? |
That's very good way of phrasing it
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watergirl
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Sun, Aug 20 2023, 1:29 pm
amother Antiquewhite wrote: |
4. Agreed about hating when they pick out all the meat from the chulent. And I put in tons when I have guests. A great big piece or two of flanken pulled into chunks. Since I am the last to the table, I often get none. And others' plated are mostly meat.
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On this - my husband always puts food on my plate when I’m bringing out the food, it’s just a thing he likes to do for me (and I do it for him also). Why not ask your husband to put a serving of cholent and meat on your plate so you aren't left with nothing?
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10
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amother
Narcissus
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Sun, Aug 20 2023, 1:32 pm
We live in a small apartment. We finished the meal at around 7:15 on a winter Friday night and our guests promptly said good night, we're going to bed & went to their room. A short while later we heard banging from that room, the headboard banging against the wall! It was so awkward. We don't keep the bed against the wall, it seems like they pushed the bed to the wall. They came back out of their room an hour later to join is for dessert, they smelled...
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Bnei Berak 10
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Sun, Aug 20 2023, 1:55 pm
amother Wine wrote: | It's so funny because there are such different opinions about this.
Personally my guest rooms are out of the way and I wish people would strip because I find it exhausting enough to make the beds again.
However I feel really uncomfortable asking someone to strip the bed because what if I have an elderly guest and they just can't do it?
So really it makes the most sense for a guest to ask her Hostess either at the beginning or at the end, but I would probably say at the beginning because you don't always see people when you leave, 'when I leave do you prefer if I make the beds or strip the linen'? | how about asking the hostess if the guests staying at your house are young or middle ages or is it Great grandpa close to 95 years old?
Don't assume people will ask. Put up a clear note in the room. Remove it if old Bubbe is staying with you.
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Frenchfry
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Sun, Aug 20 2023, 1:57 pm
amother Ecru wrote: | A guest who I gave my apt to for yom tov switched out all my mezuzos because they held of a different nusach and did not switch it back because according to halacha you are not allowed to leave a house with mezuzos that are pasul and according to them nusach sefard was not good.
we then had to switch them and return it to a mezuzos gemach.
They also left my apt dirty and moved things around.
When I called them they yelled at me...because I told them before I am not cleaning for pesach, but they couldnt believe a frum person would really leave their apt without cleaning.... |
If you're staying somewhere less than 30 days, you don't need mezuzos at all.
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amother
Quince
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Sun, Aug 20 2023, 1:59 pm
amother Narcissus wrote: | We live in a small apartment. We finished the meal at around 7:15 on a winter Friday night and our guests promptly said good night, we're going to bed & went to their room. A short while later we heard banging from that room, the headboard banging against the wall! It was so awkward. We don't keep the bed against the wall, it seems like they pushed the bed to the wall. They came back out of their room an hour later to join is for dessert, they smelled... |
Oh come on 😮
Please, please say that you made that up!!
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amother
Lemonlime
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Sun, Aug 20 2023, 2:01 pm
This is the strangest thread. I’ve only had lovely guests
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amother
Narcissus
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Sun, Aug 20 2023, 2:07 pm
amother Quince wrote: | Oh come on 😮
Please, please say that you made that up!! |
I wish..
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amother
Nemesia
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Mon, Aug 21 2023, 5:40 am
Frenchfry wrote: | If you're staying somewhere less than 30 days, you don't need mezuzos at all. |
In Israel you always need mezuzos
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amother
Wine
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Mon, Aug 21 2023, 8:08 am
Bnei Berak 10 wrote: | how about asking the hostess if the guests staying at your house are young or middle ages or is it Great grandpa close to 95 years old?
Don't assume people will ask. Put up a clear note in the room. Remove it if old Bubbe is staying with you. |
This is a great idea.
I have been mentioning to people recently when they asked me if they could use my rooms and then if there's anything they could do.
I've been responding, actually if you can ask your guests that if they are physically able I would appreciate if they could strip the linen before they leave, that wld be the most helpful!
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