Vent! Not doing laundry does NOT add to my simchat YT

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 10:49 am

I understand how maybe people don’t want to be forced to clean and do laundry. I understand that rubbing clothing on rocks in a stream was hard work. I’m sorry, but not being able to push a button on a machine is ridiculous. My house is a mess with mound of laundry that don’t fit anywhere, I don’t have the clothes I want and need, and after YT I’m going to pay dearly. All which is making me resentful.

mha3484

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 10:54 am

I literally looked at the motzei yomtov time and mentally calculated how many loads of laundry can I do without going to bed at midnight. If my kids had school Monday I would cry. AND I have a laundry chute so its not sitting around in front of my face all week.

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 10:56 am

mha3484 wrote:

Midnight would be a dream. Think 3 am

I really think the Rebbeyim need to revisit this. I don not believe it is specifically deorita.

This also goes along with the invention of dental floss and what you can eat at Shabbos lunch when you are going to the Mikva 8 hours later!

amother

Lightblue

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 11:16 am

I did wash laundry, mostly because I'm not rich enough for my kids to own enough shabbos clothes to last them all the days of y"t, and also because like you said, pushing a button on a machine isnt hard work but fixing my mental health of all the piles of laundry IS hard work and I'm not up to fixing that.

If the men would be the ones doing laundry, this would be changed as fast as it takes us to blink.

amother

Goldenrod

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 11:19 am

It’s not because it detracts from simchas yontif, it’s because of the melacha involved
That being said, my housekeeper did all my kids loads and towel and tablecloth loads. I just told her not to do mine

amother

Blonde

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 11:20 am

I wonder the same. I asked my husband if laundry is prohibited in the nine days bec it brings us joy then how is it prohibited in chol hamoed bec it brings us distress? I end up doing all the laundry bec I don’t have enough clothing, towels, table cloths etc to last ten days. It’s just not workable

amother

Babypink

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 11:25 am

I do laundry.
If I need it.
If my baby needs it. I couldn't possibly have enough clothes for some of my kids...

No. I won't buy new. I don't have the money and it is harder work for me to drive to a store, buy something, bring home, return because it doesn't fit...

ora_43

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 11:27 am

AFAIK it's not prohibited because prohibiting it brings us joy. It's prohibited in order to force people to wash their clothes before chag l'kvod chag, and IIRC also because of the melacha involved.

That's why it's allowed to wash eg towels, dish towels, and little kids' clothing (at least, according to my community's shita). And things like underwear and undershirts that are needed for the moed. Because it's not about avoiding laundry completely, it's about preparing outerwear before chag + not doing unnecessary work on chag.

ora_43

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 11:30 am

For me it's a little easier, knowing the issue is kedushat hamoed. It makes it a natural part of the post-holiday process. Each chag has its preparation (shopping, cooking, building a sukkah) and its post-chag closing duties (flipping the kitchen back after pesach, taking down the sukkah, washing tons of laundry).

I'm not saying I like it (although there's a certain satisfaction after washing 10 loads in 24 hours). But thinking of it as a natural part of chag makes it easier. YMMV.

(I'll admit I also might be following a more lenient set of rules than some others. I have a huge laundry pile waiting but also have done a few loads of things that per my shita are less/not problematic)

amother

Lemonchiffon

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 11:44 am

I do laundry. I don’t have the money to have this many clothes and I’m not wearing clothes that smell of sweat. Kavod habrios is important too.

My husband doesn’t like it but I don’t care.

Brit in Israel

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 11:59 am

From what I learnt growing up and in a very frum community together with what our Rav says now, You are allowed to do childrens clothes.
I asked our Rav on Pesach if it's only what I need for during YT or if I am doing a wash can I put it all in and he said no problem. You only can't do if nothing in the machine is needed for chol hamoed or 2nd days.

Check with your Rav what you can do for the coming years.

mha3484

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:01 pm

I wash clothing for my younger kids for yomtov/shabbos and I did towels last night but if its not needed until after yomtov it waits so will still have a lot to do after even if I do some during the week.

amother

Hyacinth

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:10 pm

amother Lemonchiffon wrote:

I do laundry. I don’t have the money to have this many clothes and I’m not wearing clothes that smell of sweat. Kavod habrios is important too.

My husband doesn’t like it but I don’t care.

Same here. My husband hates that I do laundry. But each kid can easily need 3 outfits over the course of 2 day yom tov. So I should buy 6 outfits per kid?

Meanwhile my DH's white shirts are all stained and stink like sweat but he refuses to wash them (and he refuses to buy more because he is very stingy about buying himself clothes).

I try to do it when he is not home so he wont drive me crazy

zaq

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:35 pm

I totally understand you, but that's not how halacha works. It's a heck of a lot easier to take an elevator than to climb the stairs, yet on Shabbat we climb. It's way easier to drive half a mile to shul, yet on Shabbat we walk. I don't pretend to understand why this is so and I don't necessarily buy all the "reasons" our teachers spouted, but as an Orthodox Jew I follow halacha. If I didn't, I'd be something else.

At the same time, I've learned to ask shailas and not rely on what my next-door neighbor "knows." I'm more often amazed at what is permitted than amazed at what is not. From the time I was eight and a visitor the same age informed me in a rather sanctimonious manner that "you're not allowed to wear a ring on the third finger of your left hand because that's where the wedding ring goes"--and she must have been right because she came all the way from Boro Park and her family was very, very frum--I have learned to be leery of what lay people tell me and to ask my rav. MY rav, not anyone else's.

Last edited by zaq on Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:41 pm; edited 1 time in total

Ema of 5

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:39 pm

amother Goldenrod wrote:

I did my kids clothes. My cleaning lady asked me if she can do some laundry, I told her whatever she wants.

amother

Ecru

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:45 pm

I left my laundry for my cleaning lady to do , I don’t tell her, she does it automatically. Unfortunately she left over some laundry that included my kids dirty yom tov clothes that they need for the second days.
So I just dumped the whole bag in and it had some of my tights and clothes too but I probably need those things too.
Hashem isn’t a severe or restrictive g-d people. I don’t think he cares if some of my things were inside or wanted me to take out my things from the kids once I was pressing the button anyways.