I am an INFJ/enneagram 4 AMA

amother

Snowdrop

Mon, Oct 09 2023, 10:26 pm

amother OP wrote:

Hi fellow sensitive nf souls-

How are you dealing w/ the Israel trauma?

How you holding up?

Thanks for asking.
I didn’t think about it being that I am an INFJ.
I’m INFJ 4 but I am seriously is terrible pain. Crippled. Can’t function. I’m functioning but like in a dream. I can’t focus and my heart is aching. Images of atrocities keep running through my head despite not watching any news.

amother

Mon, Oct 09 2023, 10:47 pm

amother Snowdrop wrote:

It’s so hard.I’ve cried too much within the past 24 hours.
Remember self care.

Btw s/o posted above about having existential questions come up.

Can I gently recommend we embrace this moment without trying to solve things now. Just try to survive.

This was advice from a therapist who helped teach me high emotion tolerance years back and has been priceless guidance.

We are not alone.

amother

Blush

Mon, Oct 09 2023, 11:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

That was I
Thank you for being so supportive, I've come to this conclusion earlier today. I don't want to be in a place where I feel abandoned, alone, and hopeless. I dont want to lose my religion because it means so much to me. It's my core identity. Maybe I never really under what it means to have emuna. Maybe it means where I am now, just wishing that I believe all this is for the best and wishing I feel Hashems presence instead of actually believing it. I feel like this is my best choice now to help myself through the pain and suffering even though it feels to me like I'm in some sort of abusive relationship. Maybe this would all be easier if I wasn't abused as child by someone who loved me while my parents pretended it never happened.

amother

Mon, Oct 09 2023, 11:43 pm

amother Blush wrote:

I also experienced abuse and it leaves a burning scar. I feel less alone reading your post tonight.

Please take the time to grieve, remember all the kind people in the world who want to take away pain, and yes accept that good and evil will be at war with one another til moshiach comes.

Goodnight to every yidish kind!

amother

Currant

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 12:10 am

4w5 here.

I had severe PTSD from something I survived when I was a kid, I lived in cold blooded fear for years.

Now I’m purposely numbing, binging Netflix, staying away from footage, trying not to think about it. I can’t go back to where I was was when I was a kid. I’m afraid to go back to work tomorrow, because everyone is going to be talking…

amother

Snowflake

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 4:44 am

Just wondering, is it possible to change personality types based on life’s circumstances? Not the essence, but the way you are perceived.

I used to be extroverted (not majorly so), but I’ve lost so much trust in others that being by myself feels so much safer..

Also, becoming a mother has made me so focused on others, often at the expense of my own self care and interests.. I am very creative but very goal driven when it comes to my kids. I will move mountains to get them the best care I can (I guess having a child with developmental delays can bring out that mama bear in you…I never thought I’d have it in me)

I definitely crave more out of intimate relationships than what I currently am getting. But because I’ve been burned before, I am extremely cautious when allowing myself to be vulnerable.

Not sure if what I’m writing here makes sense…

amother

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 1:22 pm

amother Currant wrote:

Stay sane. It’s not a mitzva to become emotionally empty.
I also didn’t see footage.
It won’t help me or anybody else.
Hugs 😀

amother

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 1:23 pm

amother Snowflake wrote:

I am thinking maybe it’s an ambivert situation. Possible?
That’s what I feel like at times.

amother

DarkMagenta

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 1:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

Hi all
I am a Myers’s Briggs infj/ enneagram 4w5.
Happy to chat about it!

Do people with your type think everyone feels and thinks the same way as you?

I am a different MB type - only one out of your four letters matches mine and a completely different Enneagram. However, in my life, strangely lots of “4s” and INFJs have erroneously thought I was the same type as them! I have always found this strange. 🤔

amother

DarkMagenta

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 1:49 pm

amother Snowflake wrote:

I don’t think it is usual to change the crux of your personality. I am in my 50s now and get the same type in tests as I did at 18, on different continents and life circumstances. With respect to perception though, sure other people can perceive you differently given your response to a given life situation. As I mentioned in a previous post, INFJs often think I am one of them when I am not. Perhaps my behavior in certain situations lend them to think that even though I am very much a “T” in type. But my core personality will not change.

amother

Junglegreen

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 5:17 pm

amother OP wrote:

Hi all
I am a Myers’s Briggs infj/ enneagram 4w5.
Happy to chat about it!

we should have a infj/type 4 club. but id get overwhelmed from the social aspect after a day and disappear Smile

nice to meet all you on here-same type/number and im growing to love it.

amother

Junglegreen

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 5:23 pm

SuperWify wrote:

I have a nightly downtime for myself that is yahrieg v’al yaavor

This.

I also try to keep a schedule and do type 1 things like lists.
I find the predictability grounds me, though I'm forever trying to actually stick to my commitments

amother

Junglegreen

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 5:36 pm

amother Papaya wrote:

I’m also a 4.

Do the other 4s here also feel that they are super perceptive of other peoples body language? Or what they are thinking? Super sensitive to others toxicity? & need to coat ourselves with Teflon almost ?
Like we just GET STUFF that others don’t ???

I million times yes. SOmeone will walk into a room and I'll feel their toxic traits (or how they bring out my own)

amother

DarkGreen

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 7:19 pm

I'm loving your insights OP.

As a teenager I used to type as INTP and type 5.
But since being to therapy a few years ago I started developing my emotional side so much more that I now feel a lot more like a 4 but I think I'm still more of a T than an F.
Maybe it's my 4 wing developing more but I'm starting to think I'm a 4 with strong 5 wing.
What do you think OP?

I'm quite intelligent and logical, love information and systems I'm cynical and skeptical. But also think very creatively but its more in a logical way. I struggle with artistic expression but I think that's a lot do with my depression and also. I'm an empath and am allergic to toxic people and stay a mile away from toxic situations.
I watched a few videos of the Israel situation but am now avoiding the footage because I can't take it.
I used to watch news incessantly but avoid most of the news for the last few years because it makes me so stressed.
I need a lot of down time every day, like a few hours but don't use it very effectively because I'm addicted to my phone.

amother

Blush

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 7:46 pm

amother Junglegreen wrote:

I million times yes. SOmeone will walk into a room and I'll feel their toxic traits (or how they bring out my own)

I'm always intrigued by hearing about toxic people. I don't know why I don't know any, or I never had an issue with a toxic person. From posts here it would seem they are all over. I'm generally very naive and always naturally think the best of people but that can't be the reason I don't know toxic people. I understand logically what it means, but I don't really understand because I've never actually experienced it. Or maybe I know toxic people but I don't use that term? I know people (acquaintances and one coworker) with personality disorders but it doesn't affect me so much. There's something confusing to me about this toxic people issue.

amother

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 8:31 pm

amother DarkMagenta wrote:

I can only speak for myself….I don’t. I actually find myself feeling quite a loner in the area of finding another person w/ my type…