Naming after non frum family

amother

Cobalt

Mon, Jun 26 2023, 6:43 pm

I have heard of not naming after a not frum relative. We have a relative that wasnt frum on my husbands side and DH said that he would rather not name after him.

I dont know where it comes from but you can ask if there is a basis to it and if there are any solutions.

Cheiny

Mon, Jul 03 2023, 2:25 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

A non-frum Jew can be a yarei shamayim and have excellent qualities. More so than some frum people I know.

I happen to think this entire "issue" is absolute stupidity, but if it bothers someone that much, go ahead and ask your Rav.

If it was “absolute stupidity” you wouldn’t see so many people here saying a Rov told them to have a tzaddik with the same name in mind when naming after someone who wasn’t frum.

And did you never learn that the name of the baby has an actual strong effect on his/her life?

Just because you disagree doesn’t make it “absolute stupidity.” More so if a Rov says it.

Last edited by Cheiny on Mon, Jul 03 2023, 2:40 pm; edited 1 time in total

Cheiny

Mon, Jul 03 2023, 2:27 pm

amother Cobalt wrote:

It comes from the very real, well known belief that the name has a direct effect on the child.

amother

Snow

Mon, Jul 03 2023, 2:32 pm

The relative we named after was not educated with much Yiddishkeit. But what he knew he kept with all his heart and was always so respectful and giving. I am proud that my son is named after him, and I only hope that my son keeps the much more abundant Yiddishkeit he has been given with the same sincerity as his namesake.

amother

Molasses

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 5:58 pm

Cheiny wrote:

It’s not so simple. There’s the concept that the namesake and who they were, and how they led their lives, has an effect on the baby and the baby’s life going forward. So we want to name after someone who was a yarei shomayim and had good qualities. That’s why people name after tzaddikim, even who weren’t related.

The solution, when you need to name after someone who wasn’t frum, is to add a name, and not call the child by the non-frum person’s name.

That’s what a Rov told me about naming after someone who had certain difficult qualities.

This is interesting, I didn’t realize this. So, it’s best to just make up names if needed? What about if Hebrew name is completely made up, but only one English name is from not frum relative?

amother

Babypink

Mon, Oct 16 2023, 6:12 pm

amother Molasses wrote:

This is interesting, I didn’t realize this. So, it’s best to just make up names if needed? What about if Hebrew name is completely made up, but only one English name is from not frum relative?

I heard on this topic in rabbi Moshe Weinberger’s shiur on baby names that if the non frum relative was a tinok shenishba it’s not a problem at all
Much more important than their frumkeit is their middos. If they had bad middos, both frum or not frum, stay far far away from the name.
There is a concept that is brought down that the baby is very connected to its namesake. Even to the point where if the relative was chayiv Kareis or misa based on his actions, then the child has some connection to that as well
Also, the middos of the namesake have a big effect on the child
If you have someone else like a tzaddik or the origin of that name (ex. Avraham avinu, rochel imeinu etc) then that satisfies the families who like you to name after them and that the child has zchusim through his namesake

Also, do not name because of family expectations!!! All the meforshim are super clear that ONLY the parents have ruach hakodesh in naming their child. Not grandparents, aunts, uncles, or well meaning friends!