Lakewood Bubble | Imamother

Mommyg8

Fri, Nov 17 2023, 11:32 am

I think I'm in the Lakewood/frum bubble and I love it. I have only frum neighbors, work with frum people, shop in frum stores. It's so nice to interact with our own.

I used to be much more involved with the news, I knew all the political commentators and their views by heart. Now I'm like - yeah, I know they all hate us, thank G-d I don't need to interact with these people on a daily basis. Much better for my blood pressure.

There are people who by nature/nurture are a bit naive and don't know or care about the world around them, but that's not everybody and in any case, I do think it's a small price to pay for a huge benefit.

amother

Hosta

Fri, Nov 17 2023, 11:39 am

amother Kiwi wrote:

Unrelated to general knowledge, but to prove the bubble, one time she came with her kids to visit us in the summer (we don't live in lkwd anymore). We were going to the park and she like "it is so scary to walk here! There are so many g*yim!" I almost burst out laughing

I was at a park in the Lakewood area (more on the outskirts, full of normal middle/upper class non Jews) when one man loudly cautioned his kids that there were “so much g0yim” in one area. Such a chillul HaShem. To me this is a person in the “bubble” who literally doesn’t think outside of their own norms.

amother

Offwhite

Fri, Nov 17 2023, 11:49 am

amother Milk wrote:

The bubble is a state of mind, only there if you allow it to be. If your mind is open, you’re not in a bubble. A bubble doesn’t have a geographic location.

This is quite true. But l will add, it's a lot easier/more natural to be in a bubble when you are surrounded by mostly similar type people (both where you live and work) and have less opportunity to interact with other types on a close level regularly.

amother

Lightpink

Fri, Nov 17 2023, 11:54 am

FYI, when my non Jewish client who always online researching illness ( she has health anxiety) was prescribed progesterone because of a threatened miscarriage, she freaked out because she thought it's hormone replacement therapy.
At the same time, I met a young woman, mother of 4 children, from a small, insular community who admitted she didn't really understand her reproductive organs and their functions. She had heard terms and names but didn't have the whole picture.

GLUE

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 6:32 pm

amother Hawthorn wrote:

Mostly yeshivish schools in Lakewood. They live in Yeshiva area. They’re close minded and judgemental. Also read a letter in the voice a few weeks ago from someone telling Morahs that it’s not right that they start at 930 because it makes them come late to Seder. I honestly couldn’t believe an adult can write such a letter - the letter dripped with entitlement

Nothing changed the same letters were written 20 years ago.

amother

Catmint

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 6:36 pm

amother DarkGreen wrote:

Oh please. Not knowing what progesterone is just means she was blessed with easy pregnancy and never encountered any problems. It has nothing to do with a bubble. She is just as likely as anybody to face illness of any kind and then she may unfortunately know way more than you about things like cancer, infertility, mental illness or other sickness that may not have touched your life. Disease is the ultimate in equal opportunity.

A woman should have heard of progesterone it’s a hormone in our bodies, basic biology of the menstrual cycle.

Notsobusy

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:00 pm

amother Hawthorn wrote:

If you know the history of playgroups in Lakewood this wouldn't sound so entitled to you. The reason why the schools start with primary and not nursery is because BMG opened the Cheder and Bais Faiga and they wanted kollel wives to have easy parnassa by running playgroups in their own homes. Most local schools continued that tradition. Most fathers in BMG are the parent doing playgroup drop offs and pickups and pretty much every year there is a push to get the playgroups to run according to the BMG schedule so that they don't miss seder.

Until recently the town revolved around BMG and the seder schedule in many ways. Many yeshiva people still have that mindset.

They might be cloeseminded but they're not any more judgemental than you seem to be. Most people feel that their way of life is best and don't understand why others do things differently. Especially in the yeshiva world where most of the basics of their way of life is based on torah and what they learn from their rabbonim. They truly believe that their way of life is what Hashem prefers, which is true of most yidden.

amother

Crimson

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:09 pm

amother Hawthorn wrote:

We are not judgemental are we? Passing judgement and calling an entire jewish area close minded and judgemental. We don’t judge any Jew no matter how distant they are from their roots. We only judge and stereotype our brothers and sisters in Lakewood!

Some people have a lot of personal growth to work on.

mig100

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:13 pm

Notsobusy wrote:

Off topic -is that really the reason they start with primary?

Now that there is a shortage of playgoups It's time to recnsider..

amother

Crimson

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 7:24 pm

amother Kiwi wrote:

Believe she me she is very sheltered and naive.

Unrelated to general knowledge, but to prove the bubble, one time she came with her kids to visit us in the summer (we don't live in lkwd anymore). We were going to the park and she like "it is so scary to walk here! There are so many g*yim!" I almost burst out laughing

The Yetzer Hara is amazing. In just one week he got us to go from crying, davening, saying Tehillim and anxiously awaiting developments with our brother and sisters in Eretz Yisroel to “she said g*yim!” blah blah blah

Let’s not be small minded people and look with an ayin tov at others. Let’s focus on our brothers and sisters distress not our comfortable sense of perfection and others perceived shortcomings.

BTW I asked DH to see what his chavrusas thought of the whole back and forth. He asked- both weren’t even aware of it! As far as they knew they were asked to daven extra for acheinu beis Yisroel on Monday and say Tehillim and learn Tuesday, and that’s what they were doing.

The children in school know the names of the hostages for Tehillim, not the names and organizations people are hocking about on WhatsApp. Ashrei Chelkam!

Please excuse my interruption and go back to the stereotyping nitpicking and hocking. I’ve got to go pick my son up from his motzai shabbos learning Seder in yeshiva. I wouldn’t want to interrupt DH learning for that; Klal Yisroel needs the zechus of his and his colleagues learning more than ever.

amother

Honey

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 8:40 pm

amother Hosta wrote:

That man did nothing wrong and it's definitely not a chilul hashem. A chilul hashem means desecrating & shaming Hashems name publicly, particularly around other jews. Saying that there are many g0yim in the park, is not a chilul hashem.
You're in your bubble that you're used to, and that man is in his bubble that he's used to. Every person is in some sort of bubble.

GLUE

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 9:49 pm

mig100 wrote:

Off topic -is that really the reason they start with primary?

Now that there is a shortage of playgoups It's time to recnsider..

Can you explain why you would want your kid to go to school before Primary?
Why is it such a big deal if kids are still in playgroup at that age?I don't understand all the people who are trying to push that schools should start classes at 3.

Another thing: About 20 years ago there was a push that playgroups should start at 9:20 and end at 2:05. Many Morhas agreed to do this and the next year playgroup prices rose a lot more then normal, because as some Morhas explained that they are now working 15-20 minutes more.
Last year many playgroups went up more then normal and many playgroups cut there hours, that is why the people are talking about this now parents feel they are being ripped off.

amother

Lilac

Sat, Nov 18 2023, 10:03 pm

GLUE wrote:

The problem is that there aren’t enough moros now and that rates have gotten so expensive.

When I sent my older kids there were so many slots and playgroup was very affordable. Now you need to scramble for a slot and often it costs more than tuition.

Things are so different and it would be nice if the schools could change to accommodate. But I think it would be really challenging for them to do it at this point.

amother

Salmon

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 12:43 am

My dear mother lives in that bubble. Although she was raised very far oot she moved to Lakewood at 21 and has lived there since (30+ years). I grew up in Lakewood but I moved a very big famous city.

When we went to a local park my mother had interesting reactions and insights, “Ew disgusting, why would a white person marry a black?” Or, “ew why would that Arab kid touch my grandchild’s scooter?” (The kid was two. When his mother in a burqa apologized my mother snickered.)

Yes, I’m ashamed. But some people’s mindset are primitive.

And no, none of my siblings or father would talk or think like this.

Except maybe my youngest brother who is taught in school that all g*yim are bad.

And yes, Lakewood has its fair share of hate. I’ve experienced more antisemitism on the outskirts of Lakewood than I did anywhere else in the world.

amother

Hosta

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 5:48 am

amother Honey wrote:

The “g0yim” don’t need extra reasons to dislike us or see us as primitive or closed-minded.
How would you feel about someone warning their kids not to play near all the Jews at the park? I don’t think anyone would react too kindly to that.

amother

Salmon

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 6:06 am

amother Honey wrote:

How did this get six likes?!? Can't Believe It

I’m literally cringing as I read this.

Not a chillul Hashem????

amother

Honey

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 6:11 am

amother Hosta wrote:

It seems like you dislike this jewish family, more then any non jews may dislike them.....
That man did nothing wrong, he said something to his kids that you have happened to overhear. He didn't tell anything to the non jews, nor did he make a loud announcement for everyone to hear that non jews are bad.... he just told his kids to be careful, and there's nothing wrong with that. What's wrong is that you're so offended about it.
Maybe he's from a neighborhood where the non jewish neighbors bother the jews, who knows?
You're in your narrow minded bubble, just like you think that this man is in his.

amother

Honey

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 6:13 am

amother Salmon wrote:

How did this get six likes?!? Can't Believe It

I’m literally cringing as I read this.

Not a chillul Hashem????

If you know the definition of a chillul hashem, you'd know that this man did not make a chillul hashem.
Using the word g0yim, is not a chilul hashem. Even if you find it offensive.

amother

Hosta

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 6:24 am

amother Honey wrote:

See, this right here is an example of a bubble. He DID do something wrong, and it's problematic that you can't see it or that you think the non-Jews don't dislike us for saying things like this.
I don't dislike him, I don't know the guy, but I was embarrassed. He did make a loud announcement, essentially telling his kids that the non-Jews were bad, because why else would he tell them not to play there??

Chayalle

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 6:26 am

amother Hosta wrote:

Honestly he sounds off. Not in a bubble. OFF. I don't know anyone who behaves like this, and I've been living in Lakewood for alot of years.